He tried to breathe but couldn't
He gasped
He called for help from peers
They laughed
They called him a joker inert
He cried
If only they knew his plight
They don't
He sinking with struggle
paralyzed
He dropped to the deepest deep
Inundated
Unseen when it's time to depart
Alarmed
Maybe he've gone to another side
They bluffed
The search is over he's yet unfound
They dived
To the deep in search of him
Unfound
More crowd commenced the search
Announced
For hours they were without a lead
Confused
Then a diver saw a figure floating freely beneath the deep
He drowned
They came afloat but still he lay
He died

I have died so many times.
I saw the light, I know it.
But I can't deny the dark.
Dying and darkness is needed to burst and make the light come through.
So I know the dark and I know the light but I haven't died enough times.
Not enough to be free.
Can a person ever know all the light and all the dark and still be white like the light?
In all this darkness I know I learned to love it.
And I think there's nothing wrong with it as long as it is right.
Like a darkness full of stars that means no harm.
Like a peaceful room to rest in and close your eyes.
I have died so many times.
So I know how to die but I don't like to die in the light.

The day you passed away,
I couldn't see the sky.
Too many tears fell from my eyes.
But they weren't tears of grief.
They were tears of relief.
Because even though
I'd never be able to hug you
As you walked through the door,
I knew you weren't in pain anymore.

If you looked into my eyes and knew how bright they used to be, you knew I died.
As I write my words are dying now with me.
My body doesn't like it when I try to get ready.
Just sitting isn't ok either.

I just eat, fly and sing or sleep if I can.
Cause only then life doesn't feel so bad.
Like being on fire, heavy or drowning.
My body is a bag of potatoes on fire.
I'm so dead, I'm not moving.

Let me just stare in the distance.
And if you looked into my eyes, you'd know I died.
I'm buried inside.
Strangled and tight.
Gone but stuck.

Away from life.
Away from light.
Colours fly around me in my dark room.
I fall to the ground.
I lie there just still.

i get up
from bed
staring blankly

i look at myself
in the mirror
and got myself ready

as i was about
to head out
i see the mask

i sighed and
got it from
my desk

as i put it on
tears escaping
from my eyes

i thought
i could be who i am..
but the real me... already
died