fewer scars
faith in stars
and a slight will to live!

an addiction came and left
I'm told its for the best
though, now I have no friends.

to my surprise,
and his demise,
I'm now in love with a man!

things aren't great,
but times are better
and I think I'm here to stay.

Between embrace and abandon,
between misery and mild whines,
in stories and scripts,
in scuffles and in triumphs,

between patience and tantrums,
between distress and sangfroid,
with brothers and with foes,
at childbirth and one's decline,

I live and perish in my thoughts,
neither defunct nor abiding,
between isolation and eminence,
I'll live forever or die trying.

I see you, you are
The lights that are
Making the earth see

And I, I've failed
To recognise the torch
That's inside of me

So please,
Please help me see
I can be better
Than present me
Ever thought I could be

Show me, we can break free
From the constraints of the ropes
That we once walked

Please,
Please help me see
That we're better
And that we're free
We've grown to believe

My pillow once grabbed me
By the hand
And I felt laden
Like a beach full of sand

Please
Please make me see
Now I'm better
Than I thought I could be
I promise I'll grow

Please, Please
Make me see
That we're better
We've realised our dreams
'cause now I know
You're the light I reach for

An ordinary river is continuously flowing,
Where different water species are roaming,
But none of them are really surviving,
They stay for a while and later end up dying.
Until one day a master came in,
Everyday he is deeply staring,
He noticed a fish that is not dying nor moving,
That made the river realize the fish is not leaving,
Together, the river and the fish began blooming,
People started recognizing, visiting and appreciating,
From then on both the river and the fish live to be seizing.

maybe someday you'll meet a man
who will never blame you
but at the same time you may find out
how good it is to develop a character further
if development is going in the right direction

honesty must be cruel
that's how it moves on

I am wild
and lazy
and needless
sometimes I win
and sometimes I lose

but the main core is clear
nothing is a competition

so be tough
and do not cry

You drive through the woods; you start to feel lost,
your car and your mind have blown their exhaust.
With nothing but time to drown in remorse,
you wonder if you are on the right course.
Look back where you came and up to the sky,
clouded stars can’t shine although they may try.
You look back on the path, covered in mist,
chances you had that you feel you’ve missed.
Accept where you are, forge a path instead,
through small slow steps will you know what’s ahead.
If your mind retreats back towards the start,
listen instead to the beat of your heart.
Plant your feet in the soil, eyes closed and breathe.
Regret is what lets you know that you’re free.

I’ve been searching for my life’s purpose for a couple of years and let me tell you this.
The only thing that I’ve discovered is that:
“There are no lights, music and fireworks for us, buddy, in the land of self-development”

No lofty aspirations to be realized.
Nor shiny kick *** careers to be given attention to.
NO SUCH LUCK.

The only thing that exists is kind of pessimistic albeit genuine.
As far as I know, it is your only chance of doing anything.
“Only the principle of minimum effort rules the underworld that’s lodged deep within our heads”
(The voice said)

Again the voice spoke. (This time with a much more demanding tone)
“Do the least you can do and do it well”
“For there is no place for underachievers like you here in OUR domain”

To all the boys who have ruthlessly clinged themselves upon me, forcing me to make room for them, demanding me to fit into their dreams of me, expecting me to perform, wanting me to take them in.

To all the boys who have made me change for them, rushed my development, taking me out into the wilderness, so far away that I no longer could find my way back home.

To all of you who have shaped me into who I am today, leaving me less naive, so careful of others' feelings after learning to put theirs ahead of my own.

To all of you who have left me shining from all the love, more in touch with my feelings and my gut, a bit harder but beautiful in the adore from your eyes.

To all of you - I am done. I have nothing left to say to you, I've already thought it all. But to myself - I made it home. Bruised, scared and scarred but I made it. And even though it isn't what it used to be, I'm still back and the next time I go, it will be when I want to go and not because of a stupid boy.

It’s time to let go
So why can’t I do so?
You’re bad for me
So why do I want you so badly..
Time and time again
You’re in my head
Why can’t I accept the fact that you’re dead
Long gone wasted time
What I would do to go back and rewind
All the times I ******* up your life.