Do you ever get lost in the moment?
Everything but your mind is completely still,
and everything seems to just pass you by.

Just sitting there,
with your mind fixated on one thing,
drowning everything else out but that singular thought.

Your feet are on the ground,
but you’ve never had your head float this high into the clouds.

Then all of a sudden you realize
just how far away you’ve gone.

You begin to see in slow motion,
drowning out all of the sounds.

You’re completed suspended in your own little world,
just waiting to come
d
o
w
n.

I should sleep.
Because daydreaming of what could’ve
Isn’t as fun
As dreaming of what could...

My mind's full of thoughts
I don't want.
Sequences, images of things
I can never have.
It's not about fantasizing about a better life
before you get to sleep.
It's about dissociating from reality
and excessively gritting your teeth.
You want and try to stop
but in a few seconds
you find yourself lost.
I can't remember when did it all begin,
probably way back before I was even a teen.
I want to cut my skin open and get out of my body, leave behind this broken mind.
It smothers me, it takes me to the edge,
it's eating me alive.
I'm losing it. Oh, I'm losing myself.
I don't want a way out, I want to be dead.
As I write this I'm imagining things.
Stop! Someone, rescue me!
I'm losing it.
Can I go crazy? I think I will.
I'll **** myself before it ends me.
I'm losing it.

i dont know if it is because your 
too white skin
too skinny neck
too long hair or
too deep soul

but

i feel you too much
i need you too much 
i want you too much

i dream too much about us
i dream too much about all my feelings,
the feelings you may have...
and i dont even know

everything is too much for me
i am afraid, that after all, i’m still here having nothing
not even your kisses
how can i survive without your lips on mine?
tell me how
because i am dying inside
i die everyday waiting your text asking me to go out and have some coffee

i miss the fact that i dont even know how is your funny face of getting to much soda while you laugh or when you listen to your favorite song 
or your favorite movie

i know your address
i know where my love is
but i cant go
do you see how it's ******* hard? 
i am just trying to fix what you have already ****** up

i’m still here, you have my number
you know the color of my eyes
please
think about it
dont you want me staring at you in the morning? 
just think about me 
and look up here
i wont be here forever
but i promise that i will try harder and stay here for a while
i love you

I am fighting for my life, gasping for thick air, but he is like a prison. He locks me behind his walls and he is keeping me tight pulling me closer to his body. I fight to break free, but he is grapping my shirt and trowing me on the bed so it get's harder for me to stand up before he continues to push me into the duvet that suddenly does not feel so soft and comftorble as it used to. I am drowning between the many layers of heavy fabric and my own skin. My body feels weak, my cheeks warm and my throat is filled with spit. I keep trying to swim to the top of the ocean, but it's like i've got a massive rock tied around my feet. Maybe it's time to let go, let go and just float.