The alarm shakes my bed
The memories pound in my head
Reaching blindly for my phone
Struck by the realization I am alone

Take a shower
Get ready, quick
Temperatures fluctuate
And I always feel sick

Frantically turning the monitor on
Just practice for my greatest long con
Lights are bright inside my mind
Leaving my dreams behind

Clock is ticking
Take my medicine with a drink
Sure it scares me to pretend
But it's important for those around me to think

Do I have time to eat today
What a silly question, I say
When you live in your daydreams
The real world is a nightmare

i loved you.
i wanted nothing more than to be with you,

so am i really okay breaking your heart like this?
intentionally playing the villain is just so much easier,
than having to explain a loss.

sometimes i think that i still do.

i felt miserable,
the crushing self rejection,
that a lover cannot fix,
the acceptance of being what broke you before.

but,
i stopped,
and realized i wasn’t alone,
for i was surrounded by garnets.
Twinkling, beautiful, crimson friends.

maybe it’s not so bad after all

i can’t commit to anything
can i?

not people,
not plans,
not schedules,
nor times,
i can’t even do a daily write daily.

A poem a day,
Keeps depressing thoughts away-
…
Too optimistic.

Will you be well?
I am unable to tell.
Your number is ugly..
But I hope you're bubbly!
Let's be friends,
Though it'll end.
And play hide and seek,
So that I can take a peek.
Full of surprises,
All under a disguise.
Let's do this one more time,
This time I'll make you mine.

Born on 20th March,
A fish without much.
Hoping to bring waves,
To clear out the maze.
Dreaming for bigger waters,
But still stuck within a bottle.
"Someday i'll surf big waves!
And not end up in a grave..."

if i want to get big,
my goals have to get bigger

if i “love him so much”,
i have to be the best for him

so i’m going to be the best
<3

Raised voices like an echo through a horn,
makes my ears get pierced with thorns.
little humans that shriek all the time,
gives me shivers down my spine.
All the cars that sound their horns,
chased away my peace until is gone.
All the sounds that i could hear,
makes me feel like death is near.
My heart seems to race endlessly,
chased by fear relentlessly.