"You can be whatever you want to be," he says.
Isn't he so ******* inspirational?
Something straight out of a storybook meant for a hopeful, innocent, naive child.
I've always thought that this statement was relevant, because we humans as a rule usually do whatever we want to do.
We follow our guts, our desires, our cravings, our wants.
I've always tried to employ this rule, just because my mommy once told me to be whatever I wanted to be.
But someday quite sometime ago, I learned that you can't get everything you want.
One cannot be president, an astronaut, or beautiful, or smart just by "wanting" it.
You could eventually, theoretically get what you wanted through hard work or finagling or knowing the right people or maybe by just being lucky.
But realistically we don't always get what we want, which means we can't be whatever we want to be.
I've always tried to think that I want to be skinny and pretty, so I'm going to work out and I'm not going to eat and because I want it, it will happen.
I've always tried to think that I want to be happy, so I'm going to make friends and hide my awkward sadness and smile frequently and because I want to be happy, it will happen.
I've always tried to think that I want considerate people to surround myself with, so I'm going to treat others how I want to be treated and I'm going to bend over backwards to show others I care and because I want to feel important to others, it will happen.
I've always tried to think that I could have any career I want, so I'm going to follow "what makes me happy" and try to find a job in a barren career field and because I want to be a happy adult (if such a thing exists), it will happen.
There are so many things I desperately want myself to be.
Compassionate, smart, attractive, intelligent, loving, witty, beautiful, fit, skinny, talented, well put together, and I could list thousands more.
But there are so many aspects of myself that I don't want that I will never be able to get rid of.
So while I think that wanting to be something is relevant to how much you want it, because as a rule humans do whatever we want, I think there are certain things you cannot change just by wanting them.
So Mister Inspirational, take a step back from your whiskey bottle, your larger than life aspirations, and let reality slap you in the face.

It is okay that I experience the cravings of sense
So long as I remain in knowledge of what is.
Then my choice still exists
To entertain or to choose to observe and dismiss.
Lovingly I am all that is.

Still the question "what do I do now?"
Sh... It won't be the same ever again.
Enjoy the show, though it is pretend.
You will always be, there is no end.

Now despair turns to beauty
As you truly see
Infinity
Our home for eternity.

How?
Any answer will suffice.
Just enjoy the surface
And go deeper...

The words come flowing out  when the blood is boiling under.  That is when vengeance comes to rescue your soul
longing to fulfill our thirst .
I just want to strike him with my rage
and want to literally burn him into ashes just so that I can roll into those, deathlike corporeal ruins
leaving soul frenziedly lust of mine to satiate .
I want to hold some of his powdery residual remains
as the rest
just scatters by ;
staring at my ascendancy.
Till then let another par of anger pile up and
get that load off
with my bare hands ,
bathing in the
pleasant sight of his blood stains .
My vendatta would be eternally be lasting even in afterlife .
After all it is a fight of a soul to get his righteous stand someday and may that be by ,
                            
                             A
                        DEATH
                            OF
                           THE
                        OTHER
                          ONE

My body aches
My mind weary
All I want is a rest
A break from a reality
that feels as though the world is laying on my shoulders
Where standards feel as tall as the empire state building
And I am reaching with all my might to get to the top
My weary mind
searching for peace
tired of racing
dodging and jumping around
Trying to make itself happy
is searching high and low for a reprieve
From this reality of struggles
The bottle on the shelf
It knows my name all too well
I've done well at ignoring it's calls before
But it seems to be inching closer to me
I can hear it's cries better than my own thoughts
Most days and nights
Like a mother's innate hearing for her child crying
I hear it in the night as I sleep
leaving me wide awake
although I have gone
days
weeks
months with out the taste of it on my lips
The cries still reach my ears
The taste is still on my tongue
My energy is low
And I don't know how much longer I can fight it
My mind is weary
and my body aches

You really don't know
how I crave the curve of you
Your soft skin
and the way you shake
when you ******

Jesus Christ
Your body is like ******
And I am detoxing

It's hard to forget
The taste
of your mouth
Or the winces
when you wanted
One more kiss