I sit in a restaurant, quietly drinking my wine...

I notice our waiter in his black & white clothes, His shoes were old and raggedy.
I think of him struggling to earn a living,
Surviving off the tips customers give him after serving their food and drinks...
And yet he is smiling.

I watch a 65 year old couple playful arguing about what to eat.
Surely They've been doing this for years cause the waiters greet them by name.
Aah, Love never grows old. *(Mr & Mrs Koekemoer)

I see a business man suited and booted. His always on the phone and always in a hurry. He spills some coffee on his white shirt.
Ag! He seems to be annoyed with himself...

Now I'm looking at this Girl in front of me. A cute yellow-bone with a mini-afro.
She has brown eyes and her lips are shining with cherry lip-gloss. Her smile can sink a thousand ships.
Wow, I'm happy around her.

But...

I notice the missing finger she tries to hide with her other hand. No poetry can describe thy brutality.
But still, she is WORTH it...

This can’t be healthy how I keep blaming everyone,
for the problems I set in motion
It was my own fault
and I couldn’t see the storm coming
but instead of facing it like a man,
I ran like a coward, came back to redeem myself
and as you can see I lost
  
With every scream and stand for pride
I lost who I was on the inside
So I don’t want to die
but one day I just might
and just know before that day I will make things right
  
It’s all trapped in my head
Who I used to be
It nags just like an echo
What I wouldn’t give to make it stop
and create the beautiful picture I long for
  
I don’t have much of a soul anymore
So insensitive when friends try to tell me stories
I act like I’m so much better,
like what I have to say is all that matters
I don’t care about anyone but myself and at times I can’t even look in the mirror...
When my love turns to hate it’s hard to face the day
  
Fire consumes me, hell bound
but I must fight this
Born to lead and I have people who look up to me
I’m just so tired of being sorry and tired of being sick
I want to fight for those that need me
I want to start keeping my promises

Sometimes I create my own
Writer's block;
It sounds ****** up,
Dozens of us at any given
Moment
Genuinely searching for
Any single word at all,
And here I am,
Wishing my words away,
Creating every writer's
Nightmare
Simply because I'm a
*******
Coward,
Too scared to pick up
My fresh black ballpoint pen
And put it to my
Worn out notebook
Because I'm too
Scared to feel
The dark, painful,
Scary things I know
Will come in the
Free flow of my
Disturbing verses...
So yeah, I'm
That *******,
Creating writer's block
For myself
So I don't have to
Let it all go.

****, that's lame.

Leave it by the gate
Behind the red flowers;
And In the library
Near the encyclopedias labeled,
Firsts
Leave it on your way to her
Leave it on the 5th field during gym
When they’re beating you senseless
And you have no choice
Leave it near the white ivory doors of
his offices
Leave it near the sun
Have it bake in the light
Grind its face in the asphalt
Have it taste your two thousand tons
of spit as you speak
Let them know—

Throw it at the lake let it dance off into the distance
Let it spin itself to pieces
Leave it in the creases of her lips
her Fingertips—
Chinatown misfits
Graffiti your name on every single  
Williamsburg, post no bill, post no hate
Post some self esteem
Let them know who you are
Have them find you in the fine print
Whispering sweet hymns in her ear
Have them chase you down the icy slopes
Towards the crashing coast
Leave it with them
Let it wash away in the swirling vortex
Of her, dancing till the sun sleeps,
Have it lie in the wake of your dust
Let it fall
and fall
and fall—
Let it tremble off in your voice
Watch it snow away with every move
Leave it in the pages
Close it in your book,
Let your tongue crash
Inside the hall of your mouth—
Let them know.