I live vicariously through artists more talented than me

I steal their words, their look, their fashion

Their trends and their beliefs and their lives

Because I hate myself and my art
I hate my look and my fashion
I hate my trends and beliefs

And I hate my life!

So I've found it much more preferable to be a shadow of a great

Than the shape of something small and pathetic yet original

There isn't a creative bone in my body

I just replicate things that are better than me

From day to day, everyone seems to be a bit off,
Some sort of people seem to be the same,
All the time doing whatever is popular enough,
Looking for a political or religious symbol to blame.

It's not true to me, it doesn't have to be,
It can be true to you, I won't make you see
My light the way I must believe your god is true...

Me? I'm trying to make sense of all of this,
Why with one little prayer a man can be pure,
Somehow his imagination sent us to hell, we are fewer,
I tell you it's not right, and you label me an evil-doer.

A superstitious lot, aren't we all? Everywhere I go
I hear all of these people have saved us from hell,
From temptation in this boring, ******* up society,
I don't think they know how to make a change, a copy
Of a copy is still a copy, but me? I'm born to live free,
I can see, but I wouldn't give it up, even if I would be godly,
I would rather grow up to be the same old unique me...

Here at Kinkos
We have a saying, “copies of copies”
You are trained to always ask for a source file
The digital file of the picture the camera took
The negatives of digital cameras
You see because when you print a picture from that file it’s the best it will ever be
Every detail captured in that moment stored in bits and bytes ready
If you make a copy of that picture it will never be as good
And if you make a copy of that copy it’ll be even worse
And if you were to make a copy of the hundredth copy of the ninety ninth copy you might not even recognize the image
Whether it’s a speck of dust on the scanner
Or a crease in the print out
Sun stains from prolonged exposure to the elements
Or simply from time
Copies never look as good as the original
Even if you try and protect them
And even if you were to magically protect that photo from any external forces
The next copy still won’t be the same quality
A scanner can never pick up every detail from the print on the glass
Copies of copies are never the same
Sometimes the printer is calibrated different
Sometimes it’s a heavy magenta day
Sometimes it’s a saturated cyan day
Maybe you touched her face when you handed it over
And now every copy has a feint of your thumb print above her eyebrow
You had him taped to your rearview mirror for a whole year
And now every copy you make has a glare where the tape used to be
It blocks out his heart shaped hands he was making you from the bus window
Folded in your wallet and now all the copies have white spaces where her face was
I mean where the creases were
I’ve heard that when you remember something you are simply remembering the last time you remembered it
Memories of memories
So that after you’ve remembered her a thousand times you’ve forgotten all the details you forgot to remember the time before
So that the more you remember something, the faster you’ll forget
Maybe that’s why we forget exes faster than family
Maybe that’s why we forget the great parts of high school before the painful ones
I remember that you had red hair, that your eyes were kind, that your hands fit my cheek
I remember that you were bad at pool and that it felt like love, and if it wasn’t you’re the only one that knew it
And now I’m wondering after all these years what I’m forgetting to remember
What I forgot to remember last time
What did I forget this time
What won’t I remember next time
Memories of memories
Like copies of copies
Fading over time
If I never wanted to forget the best moments of my life
Should I never remember them
Is the fastest way to forget the bad ones
To remember them often

सान अखाफोर हाथर्खिनि सायखं
सान मोना रंगिना-संगिना।
जोमै अख्रांनि गाब
सोमखोर सिदोब
दैमा-दैसा लैथो लैथोमानि
स्राय-स्राय बोहैनाय सोदोब।
दाउसिन-दावला मि-जुनार
खौसेयै अनलायनायनि सावगारि।
बिफां लाइफां सोमखोर गावदां
बिबार फिथाइ गेवलां गेवथां रिदि रिदां
हाजो हायेन जौयेननि साया
आंनिनो खाखोराव
रेबगननि बिलिरनायाव
दुखु-दाहा गाबनाय मिनिनाय
रंजा खुसि राज्यो जानाय
आंनिनो लांथिया खाखोराव
गोजोन हिसां-हिसिं मोहेरलायनाय
दावहा-थगायलायनाय,सोबखलायनाय गादबलायनाय
गासैबो आंनि रेबगननि मोसानायाव
बेफोरखौनो आगर एरना
फाख्रा-सिख्रा आगर एरबाय
समायो समाया आं मिथिया
गोजोन बेजोंनो आं
सोरबा साबजानाय सोरबा साबजायि
आं जेबो उदिस लाया।
नायो नाया आं बिजिरा
सोलोंगोन सोलोंआ आं नाया।
बेखौल' लुबैयोदि
आंनि आगरा खाना नांदोंब्ला
खिन्थागोन आसि थुनानै।
ग्रह-नखत्र अक्ष लामानि
गिदिंनाय हांखो लामानि
आन्थोर आन्थोर आगान
गाग्रोमनो आंहाबो हाबिला जायो।
फ्ला-फ्लि सांग्रेमा
हमनो होसोयोब्ला स्रोब।
फोथार-दुब्लि बेसे समायना
फुस माघ फागुन
सैत्र बैसाग जेत
आसार सावन फादोर
आसिन खाथि आघोन
बायदि बोथोराव बायदि गाब
बायदि रोखोमनि फसल
बेफोरबो आंनि खाखोराव
रेबगननि मोसानायनि आगानाव।

i am alive

and you are but a
copy
of a copy
of a copy
of a copy
of a copy
of a copy

Look at the Sun so bright and beautiful
Trying to mimic you
It stands no chance
your beauty can't be duplicated
It tries real hard with no avail
Not even close
It seems the sun can only frown
Because it will never be as beautiful as you

I struggle to find,
normalcy.

I either am abstract,
or elementary.

I either leave everything I love,
or suffocate it.

I either idolize myself,
or want harm in ways I can't admit.

I either reject everything,
or copy,
copy,
copy,
copy,
copy.




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