I want to learn how to pray.
A simple mind
trusting in a single light
that you can't see with open eyes

I am led in myriad directions by flashes in the haze
Paths lit up for a second
Pale lights illuminating so many words

Where is the single light?
Where is the ground?

I am a hazy figure reaching through walls
I float over the earth and I cannot plunge my fingers into wet soil.
My thoughts are abstract,
I cannot reach into the soil and grasp specifics.

A single light in a single moment, illuminating one place,
And my hands gripping earth

A word that shoots into the heart and rocks you, reverberates in your ribcage

A light that shines not on the path ahead but bursts from my heart to show me I can walk

You see yourself lit up and it illuminates everything.
I have to trust that you can see me,
When I can't see myself and I can't see you.

I have to trust that you are there shooting sounds into my heart,
And I will try to listen.

its just so painful,
so hard for me to comprehend,
that my very soul
would ever fit into the ciphering world,
to speak its lingua franca .

even the abc's seem like
like the burning sensations of a finger
roasting on burning coals.

the Ice never seems to melt under blazing heat
on which it lies

oh how my soul longs to dematerialize
yet i do wish i do not.

Failure is the only bell
that tolls my eardrums

oh why did my green soul  
pluck up the guts

the guts to enter the Kingdom of Geniuses?
i desire an army seal
to set me free
to be free as a citizen
inside this kingdom
The Kingdom of Geniuses

Take a seat and settle in
The masquerade will soon begin
Fallen heroes and angels in the snow
I listen in and clutch the ropes
Gridlocked traffic lines the roads
Satellites are good to go
All the people cheering
For the man who breaks the ceiling
Astronauts who time forgot
Pioneers and cosmonauts
The hairs upon the dogs stand still
I feel a shiver and then a chill
The flowers withered in the gardens
Jet engines roaring
All systems go, the show is starting
I ****** a feather floating in midair
Frozen cold and solid, caught her icy glare
We're living proof of bitter days to come
Chase the rabbits down the holes they run
Hold the light don't let it go now
Grab the love don't let it slow down
Love, joy, grief, belief, hope, and fear
Seize the moment
Hold it dear
Don't let it end like this
Don't hold out waiting for the final kiss

I stumble dazed and confused
Drifting and floating off
My body on this earth
But my spirit elsewhere
Thoughts swirling in my head
It’s all so clear
Yet oh so jumbled
Confusing
And scarily vast
Like staring into the depths of the abyss
That’s either a place full of blackness and fear,
Or a place of rainbow lights with its excitement and dreams and creativity
And boundless love

Everything is important
Nothing is important
Unless we make it so
Choose it so.
Life is experience
About learning the lessons
About enjoying the ride
Love?
Fear?
The choice is yours
And yours alone to make

Ding! . . . Ding! . . .
A man locks eyes with an artificial light
that shows a world clouded in darkness. Gleaming with empty words and false promises, the light is shut.
“Not now,” he says, as he drifts of into the night.

Ding! . . . Ding! . . .
The man springs from his bed, chasing the light.
Yet his calloused hands go stiff—
he backs away with a shake of the head.
“I’m not ready,” he says, as he eyeballs a dusky mirror reflecting on days that have long gone.

Ding! . . . Ding! . . .
This time, he merely acknowledged the light—
the light that enamored him once, maybe twice.
Yet this time, he simply glanced
as it died in the twilight.
“Why bother?” he says, as he dreams of days that once were.

So many questions running through my head
Is it worth it?
Will they notice?
Why don't they care?
Nothing ever makes sense
My questions are never answered, and I am left more confused than ever