its been so **** long
and im sorry
i dont think i did anything wrong
idk.. like... are we?
still... yk.
you didnt reply
so ig im just gunna go
but...why?

When surgeons open my body
They’ll find
         E v e r g r e e n
Snow capped mountains with endless expanses of ice

They will find a certain
              s t i  l l n e s s
No whispering between the trees
No flowers singing in the sun

I’ll be dreaming of the heat
I’ve been missing in my fingertips for so long
I have frost bite
on e v e r y s i n g l e o n e

When surgeons open my body
looking for my heart
they’ll find S t a t i c
A silence that e c h o s  
A kind of silence you only know after tragedy

I have
An  e   m   p   t     y  space
where my lungs once were
Holding  N o t h i n g
but a vigil witnessed only by one small girl with t i n y t i n y hope
All fading away
in the abandoned town
I have resting
between each breath


- When the surgeons open my body
- They will find many many secrets inside

we stand apart so
near we perceive under soul
thought just confusion

Why is it said
"falling in love"?
Should I be prepared to find myself in the ground for someone else?
Should we fly away from our own mind and see where we land?
I think it's a big contradiction.
Love is so sweet, but falling in love? That's bittersweet.
When I'm in love, everything is upside down.
I feel it in my stomach,
I feel like I'm falling into the sky.

Why the incessant heart ache
that comes with its persisting beat
the reiteration of menacing thoughts
-Inability to sit still in your seat.
a clenching jaw & those rapid eyes
implies the existence of a disturbed soul,
trapped between heavy walls of meat
at the pit of the minds' profound hole.
Are you in distress & unrest
in a state of mournful agitation
inflicted into lifes entangled turbulence
with no forewarning or invitation          
unwelcome thoughts linger to & fro        
pacing through the hallway of your head
from the livid past to a murky future    
Your senses awoke in - infrared.

A root of confusion in math
is not knowing whether a term
is a noun, verb, adjective, or adverb.

An equation is nothing but
a string of nouns.
But I may think about these nouns,
by their adjective or adverb
alternatives, for example,
which convolute the matter.

Verbs in math are really the outliers.
Thus, I've been thinking wrong
with "math is a verb" mentality.
The most common math terms are
nouns, which function alone
as subjects and objects.

What I think of as "doing math"
is akin to "doing porch".
It entails a deck, railing, stairs,
a chair, a roof.
So too, does math include these
things.

I walk on the stairs and deck.
I sit on the chair.
I enjoy the roof's shade.
So too, the things of math are
used via terms which are not
included usually in math terminology.

Almost the only verb used in
math is "think" which is convoluted
by the subjects/objects which I
employ during thinking.

Confusion reigns supreme,
Enveloping you
In a swirling distorted fog
Of mixed emotions and
Contradictory messages,
Con - mislead, false, unreal,
Fusion - tie up in knots,
Befuddle,
Unsure what’s happening,
What’s up, what’s down,
Wanting,
Needing,
To understand,
To know,
To learn,
How to break out
Of this endless cycle of
Perplexity,
Asking for help,
Receiving none,
You’re on your own,
Drowning in this murky abysmal soup
Of contorted pain and
Incomprehension