i would die for you,
if you would die for me too.
because i've been aching to meet you, in heaven if i proceed to.
'cause we're all a little different once we're laid bare,
and you're so beautiful its impossible not to stare.
encompass me with your angelic embrace,
and watch me shiver in this cold space.
it's not hard to love a ghostly face,
i mean, really, you make my heart race.
you make my heart soar even though that stopped long ago,
my heart is so attached to you it could never let go.
so what is love after death?
after-life dating?
cold-heart mating?
whatever noun it may adopt,
i know, that even once we're dead our love cannot be stopped.

From age sixteen to twenty, I had a 32-inch waist
Not an ounce of fat, not even a trace.
What happened to my youthful body?
When I had all muscle and no flab
Now all this weight I have to drag.
It is hell when you lose that youthful ***
Where people s heads turn and they nod.
Now my gut hangs over my belt
This is the worst I have ever felt.
They say when you get older your muscles tend to relax
Looks like I have to charge an overweight income tax!
They say in your fifties you are in your prime
“What happened to mine? “
When we get older, we are supposed to revert
Back to our childhood years, but apparently
Our bodies have some fears.
It birth it was our parents who used to change our diapers
Now our children are changing them!
GOD is truly a comedian!

Something I should not say!
However, at 70 years old I am turning gray!
I never thought that it would happen this way
My friends at the age of forty was turning gray
Therefore, I thought it would happen that way.
Now I can see – that I am aging gracefully!
They have all gone through a divorce
And I am still holding my course.
Is it something that I have done?
That I am still the only one.
Was it something in the water?
That their lives are in total disorder.
Or is it that I have made the right choice
When I decided to lower my voice!
To not to scream and holler, and get hot under the collar!
If you want to have a good life, do not argue with your wife!
It is your life you will save, so she does not
Put you in an early grave

YOUNG-OLD-LADY

I saw this ad in the paper and I was intrigued by it
Because it said: young-old-lady
So I got in touch with her!
She said: “I am young in heart but old in body”
But my *** drive is still quite hardy.
So I put her to the test and she outdid all the rest.
You see: I was a young woman of the night
Until I got into a fight.
She was twice my size- and messed up both my eyes
So it became hard for me to see, so I did things naturally.
My hands would pull down their pants in a hurry
Because my vision was quite blurry.
Then I got to be known as the universal queen
Because I had (Russian) rushing hands and (roman)
Roaming fingers and their pleasures would forever linger.
So now, I am older and have to advertise
To get more clients down the line.
You‘ve just been added to my clients list
So pay the money and do not get ******.

She woke up in the morning with gas that would not pass
So she put her head up her ***
She looked to the left and then to the right
However, there was no blockage within her sight
Then she heard the rumble deep down inside
If she did not pull out her head, it would blow her mind
She pulled her head so fast it created an air pocket
Hitting her like a two-ton rocket.
They found the crap splattered everywhere
On the walls and on the chair.
The paramedics stood in disgust and awe
As they turned and closed the door.
WARNING: if you have some gas that will not pass
Do not stick your head up your ***!

On a comfortable breezy evening,
my mum converses with her sister via Skype
exchanging quirky tales

They broach the subject of her lemon tree.

"It's the most peculiar case;
it was growing so divinely
until, suddenly, it stopped."

Silence. Then the punchline:

"Reminded me of your daughter."

They exchange hoots of laughter
Meanwhile, I sit in the corner
arms folded, eyebrows knitted
unamused