i went down to florida
and came back with pneumonia,
maybe due to my life so busy
running and running and getting so dizzy,
always managing to stay on track
costing my sleep to be in major lack,
pushing myself past every limit
enjoying it all and never feeling timid,
but everyone said i'd eventually hit a wall
i guess they were right after all.

I thought I could put you in a box
I was wrong
I thought I could work you out like math
I was wrong

I thought this was what you'd say
You said something else
I thought you were one way
You were another

But it was the same about me

I tried to put myself in a box
I tried to work myself out like math
But I'm more than that,
And I can't figure it out

I thought I was supposed to say this
But I should have said something else
I thought I was one way
But I was another

I tell myself that I don't know you
But I don't know me

And that is much worse.

We are just a blur
of emotions, feelings and art.
We don't walk but float
from place to place.
Drifting in our own little bubble of
memories and stories.

Dark skies.
Possibly rain.
Only one thing on my mind remains.
This view
This life
Me...
How long before it gets old?
Till it grows mold?
Birds chirping.
I see no sun.
Only a book.
Not filled with words of wisdom
Or lyrics of poetry,
But an itinerary.
A schedule to follow.
A routine.
That's what how I live life.
How morbidly boring.

what is luck?
i have a dotted line that i've been trying to fill in for my whole life
diagnosed at nine with a carrying-too-much disease
but i can afford the pills and therapy
from someone else's wallet
but
for how long?
tell me, doctor,
when i'm off my parents' Healthcare Plan,
will you still want to talk to me?
we've built such a great relationship
in the past lord knows how many years of
punching mirrors
kissing porcelain bowls
would you please keep giving me ****** lotion
to smooth out the holes in my brain?
what about the other kids who are dying out in the same crispy sun that doesn't set?
tell me, do you feel the same compassion
for these daughters of dopamine   deficiency?
would you hold the hands of thirty year olds
who still fear the monsters under their beds?
you *******

do no harm

and turn a blind eye

and i know it's not your fault
but **** it, Look Me In The Eyes
and tell me
what do you plan to do?