I have spent my life stumbling over the same mistakes generations of the people around me made clear I should not make. I know now that though this life is hard: this life is good. And I believe it more than ever because I hear it in the music of her words and the smile on her face and I can't help but be excited to raise the new humans and prepare them for the race. They will know life is not always winning because that's always tripped me up, I will show them simple victories like learning to persevere through the hard things. So when they find themselves making my mistakes they will know its okay to walk away and that they never have to justify why they didn't stay because no person will ever be reason enough to cut yourself open and beg to be loved. In the distant future along the fading sun I can tell my life is far from over and in fact it's hardly begun, my life has started and stopped though the world has never waited and I've questioned how we've come into existence and I've existentially debated but I'm aware now, more than ever, I love. I love deeply and passionately and violently it's true, and someday that will be enough for somebody and they'll return the feeling with real meaning and together we will fight the blackness that has threatened us and create a fire in our chests that burns brightest when we're together so if we ever get lost in the black hole we can find each other's lights and be drawn to each other's warmth and this fire will never be extinguished. Like wildfire, we'll let it spread, share it with our family, our children, our friends. This someday life will one day be in my hands because I've found a sturdy balance and stopped stumbling and instead learned. Even when life hurts there are worse things than being burned.
I had to grow down to remember how to grow up.
