I told myself we wouldn't

change

afterwards.
After the break.
After it ended.
After the relationship.

You probably told yourself the same thing.
Feeding yourself the mantra of

"We'll be friends now.
Eventually, it'll go back to how it was.
We'll be back to normal."

Well, did it?

I thought so.

I don't know how you think.
I don't know your mindset.
I don't know your values.

What I do know
is that you missed how we
used to talk.

The way you said it two nights ago on the phone.

"We don't talk like we used to anymore."

Me, being too caught in the moment, asked

"Why?"

You answered

"It was nice."

You could've said something.
Made the effort to go back to how we used to.
Maybe even ask me if we could
go back to "normal".

Why didn't you bother?
You can't expect me to
initiate
everything, you know?
If you thought it was so "nice"
you could've put effort into it.

I knew you were dumb,
but I didn't think you were stupid.

But if you really missed it
if you thought it was so "nice"
if you missed how refreshing it was to
hear us talk
like how we used to

Call me.
Text me.
Talk to me.

Whatever it is
I'm right here.

There's no need to hesitate.
You know I'll answer when I can.
You know I'll talk to you about anything.
You know I'll answer your questions.

I'll be right here.

We can talk like friends.
We can laugh like friends.
We can rant like friends.
We can cry like friends.

I'm just a couple texts away.
I'm just a call away.
I'm just a talk away.

I'm right here.

If I call, will you decline it?
If I text, will you read it?
If I love you, will you ignore it?

U disappeared off the face of the earth, and I’m going to be sick.
All because I’ve banished u,
But still I feel so sick.

Delete and then block,
Delete and then block,
& delete and then block.
The same cycle for all my social media accounts…
Except for about 3.

I left those open incase you want to come back.
Add and then friend,
Add and then friend,
& add and then friend.

That was a mistake.

Yes, I saw the new new.
That girl smiling brightly.
That girl taunting me,
“Na Nana boo boo, you can’t have him!”

Well.
That’s when I started to feel sick.

Well,
That’s when I texted u.

Well,
That’s when I broke all self control and discipline.

And well,
Here we are.

I’m sick of calling,
Sick of texting,
Sick of feeling,
And I’m sick of you.
#Sick

As the call ended
So did we
Between our phones
Not only the connection broke
But also the hearts,
that were connected as well

decline the call,
delete the e-mail,
ignore the speech,
ignore the message,
focus
focus on yourself and yourself only

You called me at 2 a.m. to ask if I was in bed
you knew the answer but you went ahead
and asked about my day
and if I missed your face
I was stirred awake by your call
not answering what i felt like breaking the law
baby girl I'm sorry I hurt you
I didn't mean to do your wrong
it's just i haven't been seeing you too long
and I'm starting to lose focus
just spending the night together
just us we slip into conversation
and I don't need to worry about the dedication
needed to pay attention
wish you were in my city
girl come get your affection
it needs collecting