I am soon leaving a place to find a new one to roam.
The place I am leaving behind is what I call home.
I am leaving the green fields and the cozy old town.
To face new challenges and get my world turned upside down.

Before, I was stuck at the bottom of a now forgotten ocean.
It was dark and quiet, yet the water around me was in commotion.
I could not breathe and was desperate to take in another breath.
I was not ready to greet the eternal sleep, better known as death.

My body felt weightless even though my eyelids were so heavy.
I cut off the chain that hugged my feet and swam slow but steady.
“Would I make it?” was the thought that kept making me nervous.
However, that did not stop me from taking my eyes of the surface.

With my head above the water, the air felt so liberating.
Because being in the water for too long can be quite intoxicating.
I find it funny how water makes you either float or is pushing you down.
It can scream into your eardrums, yet at other times it makes no sound.

When I finally reached land and felt solid ground beneath my feet.
I looked at the horizon and felt a warm embrace from the sun’s heat.
When the last drop of salty water left my body, I took seat in a full bus.
We drove off without direction, while the sun was still shining on us.

When I reached my final destination, I did not know what to do or say.
I have never stood alone before, and I was ready to just run away.
But then the traffic light stopped me with the brightest shade of green.
And suddenly I knew what to do with my life, at the age of nineteen.

Why am I told that I can do BETTER,
When I have found my BEST in him?

I do not sense doubt or uncertainties
Nor do I feel dissatisfaction with us.

Why should I look FURTHER AHEAD,
When he is my FINAL DESTINATION?

I do not see him as one of the stops
On my way to yet another station.

Why would I pointlessly GIVE UP,
When all I want is to HOLD ON?

I do not need to dismiss and destroy
A base without a hazardous cause.

…

I have had much experience with buses;
Seen numerous fancy and attractive ones,
Ridden some wrong and dangerous ones,
Avoided a handful of fake and nasty ones,
Missed a few potentially comfortable ones.

Now, if you miss the bus, you stand under the roof
And wait, because another one will surely pass by;
However, if you get up and search, you will find a cab
And you can move fast, slow, directly, or indirectly.
(Time may or may not be a reverent factor.)

…

As for me, I had quit searching
But I was not waiting either;
Then, a limousine carrying a man
Who had as much bus experience
Arrived and asked for directions.

Today, twelve months later,
We are each other’s BETTER halves,
Heading for the same DESTINATION,
Somehow knowing how to HOLD ON,
Across vast lands and oceans.

…

The destination is important, without question;
But the journey is equally, if not more, important.

One hundred and something beats per minute,
A happy tune to keep me
with it
As I stare out of the bus window
In-ear phones cancelling out,
The ambient sounds
Of busy Cambridge City
Always enjoying the diversity
Finally seeing the love

On Victoria avenue,
I saw two little girls
Sat on a tree branch together
Dangling as it flexed,
Over Jesus green
Probably siblings
Maybe even friends
I felt their feelings
Even on this crowded journey

I long for forms of childhood
Carelessness and joy
I long for companionship
Brotherly and sisterly love
I long for happiness
Smiles and sunshine forever

you were set as stars in a night,
relentless, tangled, act of own
will. i was a juxtaposition
   of fear & current,
     a different
       only slight
           but
       enough to
     wash out
   what i
lacked
sight to see.
it was ridges extending out eternal
we were only possible & not more
but knowledge imparts little
& what i know now does not
save my lost soul then. it
has all fallen oh what am i
to do?

-

lost dawn on the incoming front &
saw its orange-bitter glow fall under
the cloudbank. & wondered what next
i'd lose, besides sleep, chance, and
sanctity of mind. i had my ideas,
but no will or means to rectify.
(through foxton). someone walks into an
already-lit dairy. coughs in the centre,
driver ain't let go of the wheel;
last two toes to right gone real
sleep, maybe to make up for me.
gleams in the gutter, sky makes
new stars at day. i do not suspect
anything but my own victory &
demise. but in which order?

-

you were a long-run hedgerow enclosing
the horizon, day i first saw your
face. some times you wish moments had
a repeat or rewind facility, but that
case did. so i learnt the first few
words of your language & liked the
way it rolled off tongue. truth was, i got
pretty **** down within the other
corridors of my days. truth is, i was dust flung
off the land in a storm. i was
unsalvageable scrap. but i started
learning all scrap is useful, once you
figure it out. the dust was settling, the
rust was sloughing. & i met you.
and i found out who i'd like to
make of myself, finally. make it right.
maybe stay happy, for not only
myself, but to align with
the set of prime ideals i found in your
love of life. & i've a lot left to learn,
but, of course, i wanna learn it all.

-

found somethin' that felt right for the
first in a back-catalogue of long times. felt
like destiny, though it's not something i ever
believed in. and, even in this chaotic sea
of random windblown chance, i did find
something and felt as though you might
actually feel the same.
and it terrifies me that it may
be taken away before either of us get
a break. taken by tides in which either
of us has next-to-no say, and i'm afraid if
sometimes dreams are just that and life is
real and furthermore is destined (not that i
believe, but not every god-fearin' man is a
theist) to be painful.
'cause i don't want anyone to hurt, though
i know you're brave enough to stand it. is
it so selfish to crave a world in which
pain is only part & parcel of a bygone era?
where suffering is just a dictionary entry?
where i could hold your hand
just a short while?