When it settles
it clings to my lungs
and I breathe in,
until it becomes me.

Whether ash or rust I can not say
but it binds to me either way.
What I am becoming
from setting sun to dawning day,
be it man of dust or man of clay;
I do not know
I can not say.

Perhaps----
mercy forfend,
the breeze will carry me away.
Cast down the street in piles and droves
spread out to where other humans stay,
forgotten like scattered salt,
or neglected ashtray.

Flakes of prayers
left to swirl about,
and gather in the storm,
or lay sleeping in the gutter.

Perhaps---
There might be a day
in my sojourn,
where it shall be
my humble priviledge,
to renew the ground where youth can play.

But with arid lungs,
without mouth and tongue
I do not know
and I can not say.

2/28/2020

I’ve been testing out these new black socks for three days now,

I can’t take them off,

My toes grew numb so I stuck Chinese charcoal heaters to the bottom of ‘em

Wrapped up heavy in the covers on my Japanese futon,

kerosene heater set to the highest degree,

Watching snowflakes pileup on my window seal

As I waver between peaceful meditations and combative mental mediation,

Intermittently manipulating time and commanding this bone to heal,

I breathe in I breathe out

Here and now there is so much space to feel

I can't remember the last time I sat in bed in the daylight

Navigating patience, peace and pain

It's all perspective

An energy lift or an energy drain

But the universe laid me out this time

carving space out of the go-go-go

Burning off the fog, dissolving those mental linear lines

Making it okay to settle into the just so-and-so

I can't remember the last time I sat in bed in the daylight

To just lay here and feel the space of nothing

To let the breath come’n go,

To let the breath make space for something that I don't know

Calming playful breeze runs it's fingers through my hair
  Salt water gently nips at my ankles
I watch the sunset over the ocean
The mix of colors setting just right over the horizon
Getting lost in the warmth of the moment
Losing myself to the picture

I wrote fantasies and I wrote about sleep
I wrote about demons and
how they danced around a fire in my dreams
I wrote about skeletons in my closet that suffocated me
I wrote about monsters that I rolled around with
In my sheets and when “I love you”
Used to sound sweet
I wrote until my brain stopped flooding and my fingertips began to bleed

Poetry
       i wrote until it
              Finally
          Became easier to
Breathe
m.d

Sitting here
With you
Might not be
The best thing I can do

I sit here
And scream
And you listen
And breathe