I hope they'll think of me
as I will of them.

That I'll be a painful
yet cherished memory,
one that they'll carry with them
as they find new love,
and go on to accomplish
great things.

Perhaps I'll still be
considered one of
their loved ones,
as they always will be
one of mine.

I hope they'll think of me
from time to time,
and smile.

I can feel your nerves from here.
You didn’t expect our love story
to take this turn.

It may seem insignificant,
but that’s how life works —
when we least expect it,
it sweeps our feet from under us.

They say love is forever
while it lasts.
I guess we’re somewhere in the middle.
We’ve earned a C.

I won’t text you,
or show up out of nowhere
in your life again.
We don’t need to repeat this script.

But I hope you make peace
with our memories,
with the good moments we shared.
Those, at least,
will be eternal.

i hate myself
for becoming the person
who cries over nothing.
except it’s never nothing —
it’s the bruise
still sore
from loving him.

i’m not myself anymore,
just a sour taste
that won’t leave
my own mouth.

i skipped therapy this week,
ashamed to arrive
empty-handed,
with nothing worth
laying down.

i slipped
back into the rabbit hole,
where the air is thin
and every echo is mine.

i wish i could say
i’ll work this out.
i just need to heal —
a bit longer.
then maybe
i’ll fly.

I haunt this house I once called home

The floors creak

The cats watch me

But your grief exists around me—untouched

I have seen the joy leave your body

I have seen you wracked by sobs,

Curled in the bed we slept in together

I see your eyes wander,

Glaze over,

All of your consciousness lost to another place

Another time, perhaps?

I remember the day we first came here

Some velvet-lined, sepia-colored summer afternoon

I said that we would die in this house

I did not dream

Had not thought

That I would be the death of us

Meanwhile, in an apartment downtown,

My soul walks the well-worn path of an ordinary life

Brush my teeth

Feed the cat

Open the window and breathe in the soft autumnal morning light

My heart sits at table in front of a mojito,

Laughing at another man’s jokes

And the mint tastes like starting over

And the laughter feels like freedom

But my heart

My heart feels like homesickness and guilt

And my head is already on his chest

As we lay in the quiet dark

All of the fragmented pieces of myself

Disjointed

As though you were the glue that held us together

For my final act of love,
I will let go of my love for you.
Let go of the future we planned.
Let go of dreams and goals we had.
Let go of me wanting something
that you never wanted.
I will let go of what we could have been.

You are free now,
free of the slow mundane life I promised you
so you can spread your wings
to the far off places,
I could never reach.
Free from me slowing you down.
Free from me pestering you
to help build bridges forward
for our future,
while you built walls around yourself.
Free to live the life you wanted
without me.

I should have realized sooner
that this is not what you wanted.
That you didn't want me
but the comfort I brought.
That you wanted to live for the present,
not the future.
I should have realized all this so much sooner,
and for that shame on me,
I'm sorry.

For my final act of love,
I chose to love you no longer.
You now have the forever in your hands
That you so very much wanted,
a forever without me.
For my final act of love,
I'll move on...
without you.
Good luck,
I wish you well.

I found out you moved on,
you’re with another woman.

I felt nothing.

I thought I would cry,
tear my hair out over you—
but I think I love myself now.

My weekly therapy sessions worked.

You’re not letting me go.
You’re making everything harder,
slowing down my plans.

Do you still miss me?

They told me
that the more time passes
after a breakup
the more we tend to think
poorly of our ex-partners
I don’t want to think badly of you
But with each of our misencounters
I find more reasons to believe
I was married to a madman

i got addicted to the emotional roller coaster

now i can't find my balance on steady ground

high hopes and low blows

love bombed me like the fireworks on your birthday

and you convinced me that wasn't the case

but who talks rings and cradles

when my hands have barely touched your soul?

we were still strangers

i should've known

i showed you the demons from my past

you swore you wouldn't hurt me like that

but you went on and did exactly just that

you left me high and dry

abandoned me without a trace

never any rhyme or reason

i made peace without closure

you tucked your tail between your legs

and ran like a scared little boy at the first sign of danger

then of course

just like clockwork

you came crawling back

begging for forgiveness

begging for my hand again

begging for love

but i've already given it to someone else

and unlike you

i have no regrets

because i would rather sit by a warm log fire on a winter's eve

than to shiver at explosive fireworks in the night sky

on any given day