When the weather turned warmer
Your heart turned colder
Told me that we were over
Autumn would mean fall
But not fall in love
This was the end of me and you

My friends always said you were a liar
They ended up being right

Last night, you called me
Just to tell me that you miss you
That all you wanted was me by your side
You asked me to come to the lake
My sleepy eyes smiled at the thought

I dreamed of being with you again
Your family there as well
Sitting under the hot sun
Feeling nothing but happiness

It's raining tonight
Just like that first night we spent together
My stomach sinks because I wish you were here
I smile because I can tell you these thoughts
Knowing that you feel the same way

Maybe this will be a new start after all
Maybe we will grow in the ways we always meant to
I can only hope that we can change in just the right ways
So that we might work together

i want to be next to you
breathing your air
with your fingers intertwined with mine

i want to feel
your lips pressed against me
a thousand times a day

i would spend hours in silence with you
because we all know
actions speak louder than words

i want to be yours
and you to be mine
no questions asked

i could spend my life in admiration
you're the missing piece
to my empty soul

we could have those midnight talks
as we watch the stars
as perfect as you

or we could sleep in the most innocent way
so i no longer feel alone
and you have a reason to live

when no one knows my name

I'll take a ride, to places I don't know
I'll wreck your town and your family name.
I'll take your boy, and show him a good time
I'll take your sister for a ride on the wild side.

I'm the life of the party, and no one can trip without me
I'm the paralyzed dancer with a mind that'll destroy you
I'm black and white, and that takes the pain away
I'm your addiction.

He was my coat during winter
he was the breeze during summer
he was my distraction during school.
Those day dreams made me look like a fool.

He was the rush of *******
he was the soothing warmth of ******
he was as prideful as the effects of ****
and he was as exciting as ecstasy.

Very soon I became addicted
dependant.
My bones would shrink at his absence
I was losing my mind
I missed him everyday
I would always find excuses to get hold of him
oh, the blues soon after his goodbyes
my world was so dry.

But one fine day
I decided to quit
quit the guilt
quit the pain
quit the emptiness
but he keeps coming to me
only a while after,
I relapsed.

I couldn't resist
those soft pleasant lips
touching my ice cold neck
and slowly progressing onto my cheeks
then getting a firm grip of my lips,
he rejuvenated me
I felt alive
his body against mine
his hands on my hips
his passion
I felt safe.

His hands imprinted on every pore of my skin
I was a slave to his high
he was the best drug in town
but he was a drug.
A drug which had so much potential to ruin every bit of me
before it's too late,
I had to leave
I was aware of the pain,
the tears
which I had to undergo
After all that,
I still very much think about him
every day
every minute
I crave him
I hope I hear from him
at the same time I hope he disappears into oblivion.

"He's not good for you"
say my friends
It's just too hard to believe the truth
I've used my wrong state of mind
as a path to talk to him
then just pretend it was all a big mistake.
Tonight, he is the only thing I can think about
everything revolves around him
I love him.

I'm four years old searching for bugs, lizards and frogs then putting them in boxes because I wanted to be like god.
They never lived long.
I buried my pet frog then dug him up to see what death really looked like.
I'm eight years old getting baptized in holy water, my uncle puts me under. They say all my sins have been washed away but I still feel the same. My dad wore his suit and walked like God.

I'm twelve years old behind home plate wearing my battle gear and scabbed knees, look dad! Did you see that catch?  I thought it was beautiful. He says I'm leader of the team.
I'm fifteen years old being swept in to this strong boys arms. All I wanted was my dad. He never taught me the different between a boy and a man.
I'm fifteen and a half, sitting at the park high, pathetically high. My lungs are cussing me out right about now.

I'm fifteen and three quarters being sent to rehab for trying to die because of a boy that was nothing close to being a man.
He left me with ******* in my system


I'm sixteen years old and I found myself a man. He's my NA meeting whenever I need it. He reminds me of my dad.

They don't know it but they're under inspection.
I'm watching while they fumble around each other trying to figure out how to figure,
it's ok because I already know.
I don't have a clue on how to figure out what they are fumbling over.
But I've figured out why they trip around each other snapping if they can't figure it out.
My opinion isn't valid and I'm not going to speak up because they haven't noticed I'm here watching.
I'll never teach what i've learned, they already know the answers to the wrong questions.
They would still fumble over the question and snap at each other trying to figure out what I've already figured.
I'm sitting here watching them trying to figure it out.

She chose him.

She chose him to be
A pertinent aspect
Of her forever
Full sum of forever.
He who had shown her
New songs to glitter her
Sweeping thoughts,
Green flowers to dust
Such thoughts.
So when she chose him,
really,
She chose herself
She who had become
Thought broom,
Greens,
Stony welcomer
Of new.

He'd changed her
In a manner
In which she liked,
The outcome
Worthy of self pride.
She chose
Songs
She chose
Leaves
She chose herself
Which
He'd made her become.
And why not stay with him-
The man who had
Coaxed out
Someone deeper, older within herself,
Someone who
She herself had been searching for.
This lazy thought
And that
Made her choose.
Him.
Because he was the leaves and
Nothing more.