A fruit may look beautiful yet taste bitter
A fruit may look ugly yet have a taste to make you reconsider
A fruit may look ugly yet taste the sweetest
A fruit may look beautiful yet taste the weakest
~20/3/21

Let's raise a bitter glass,
Football's here at last,
And that's not all,
Teams do crowds enthrall,
From a victory,
****** defeat, you see,
No flag again this year,
Bitter glass, my dears,
Football's finally a'loose,
Pour that glass of bitter juice!

mother, my grades do not define me
an A+ will not bring me wealth
see, you’d understand if you asked
if you’d checked in with my mental health

mother, no one should have to prove themselves
self-worth is found in the heart and mind
not in jewelry, clothes, and cars
nor mansions, bars, and wine

mother, life is different now
it’s not how things were in the 90’s
it’s not supposed to be all work and no play
people my age are just teens

mother, *******
can’t you understand, this is Gen Z
let me slow down and waste time
and let things run the way they’re meant to be

mother, this is my life
not a stock to trade or buy
i’m not a human investment
just a girl trying to live her life

mother, stop controlling me
let me test the limits myself
in a world where experience is needed
let me regret and learn by myself

mother, you need to let go
stop holding the strings over my life
the next time i feel this way
i might just cut the tie

mother, my confidence is at a low
it’s not my mind, but my environment
it’s the way you berate me, call me useless
and shamed me to the place i’m now in

mother, maybe one day i’ll forgive you
for the childhood that you stole from me
for being the main reason why i look in the mirror
and see a worthless, tired girl that's lonely

                           mother, maybe one day, you’ll recognize
                           how you’ve unsuccessfully tried your best
                           to raise a perfect asian daughter
                           but she turned out more bitter than the rest

A small man with a big smell
when his seldom washed clothes were drying after rain.
Stubble chin, fish eye, loose lip
but always ready for0 the tankard's rim,                                    
especially if you were buying.

One of the dark ones, relics of the Bronze Age,
whose ancestors had thrown their seed,
thin grain upon the small and bitter acres that he worked.

Only the rocks grow well in the fields of the grey hills!

At first I thought him diminished,
crushed by the land itself,
it's possession a cancer devouring
and defeat an old coat lashed round his middle with wire.

But drunk once, on a market day,
lowing and jammed like stalled beasts
into the FARMERS bar, he stumbled,
hugged me close to steady himself
and roared out loud to the heedless herd,
with arm outstretched, ******* to the world,
"****** you boys! I am still here!

Nobody heard but me,
whose ear was riven by that yell
and sprayed with rich spittle.

True though, despite the braggadocio of beer,
with the grain of him deep and compacted
like the rocks he fought, he did endure.

Marooned within a span of finitude
We claim we are lost forever!
Our hearts beat violently inside our rib cages,
Trying to tell us truths that we brush off as myths.
We paint our houses and bodies with brilliant colours and darkest inks,
Hoping that it would make up for the ugliness we harbour!
We spin fantasies locked up in self-made prison cells,
Sidelining the hideous realities as not part of 'our story'...
We carry our vulnerabilities as a taboo,
(I, sadly, would not blame each one separately for it)
We have woven this illusion together with our cloudy minds.
If a bird could judge high from the sky
It would have made out the fragmentary lives we live in...
Inside a single fortress surrounded by high walls, yet violence if we traverse the margin between two rooms!
If and only if, we would have understood that it doesn't require too much a sacrifice to unite
That we can leave our homes simply plastered and our minds simply open.
Urged by a force to change, if only we had exposed ourselves to paint graffiti on that common wall that surrounds us,
Splashing ingenious shades of love and brotherhood,
Of a fluttering feeling of oneness and entanglement.
We would have laughed together, danced with glee and holding our hands together we would have escaped unto a better reality...
If only it was true, I wonder
How spectacular a place the world would have been !

i want the butterflies
glowing in my lungs
whispering nervous truths

i crave the breath
catching in my throat
warm bodies brought together

i'd **** for dancing
physical, verbal, tantric
never knowing who is leading
---
i miss first dates
the hopeful feeling fraught with nerves
fidgeting as you giggle at jokes that aren't funny

and all the learning,
favorite colors that grow to anecdotes
and then to second dates

all the time it's blossoming;
blooming into something real,
butterflies depart, letting only light remain

and i can stop the pining easily
love songs are vibrant; poetry melts hearts
but don't romanticize me
---
i've been the final girl at a haunted house
cleaning up bodies; exercising ghosts
i don't need your love to be full

i don't have another half, i'm already whole
and you can be my twin flame, if you won't fizzle out
i've had many matches that only left smoke
---
and if our love is a circus, and you are the clown
don't be surprised if i wait in the crowd
i'm done pulling teeth; and i'm tired of games
friend, lover, soulmate- i'm tired of names

i'm tired of labels that differ but all feel the same.
when i'm set alight, i'll be feeling no shame
and if you want all of me, i'll have no regrets
but don't string me along, i'm no marionette

it used to feel so absolutely suffocating
to reflect on a time when i didn’t love you
to think of all the wasted moments before
i was graced with your presence in my world

but now it burns to remember the feelings
of falling asleep in your arms,
of crying into your chest,
of kissing you goodbye.

i was never one who even believed in love
so it took me a couple of tries to realize
just how real it all was

of course, just when i got comfortable
things fell hard, and everything went south.
and now every time i hear, read, or say your name
all i’m left with afterwards is a bitter taste in my mouth.