When grief knocks sheepishly but persistently
When anger kicks at my ear drums
When fear hugs me closely, a little too tightly
When I talk to those who formed my inner voices
When thoughts crowd out my breathing
When souls weep over their losses
When sleep backs down after it's fight with stress

When delicate petals and sprouts brave the weather valiantly
When big blue eyes smile back up at me
When rains soak and nourish and my bed beckons
When innocent discussions bond hearts
When he holds my hand while half asleep
When the blissful aroma and taste of hot tea fills my senses
When the cleansing ocean spray makes my skin come alive
When soft music puts my tired mind to sleep like a baby

I hate pottering around inside my mind
With no reason or rhyme, like I'm retired-
Poking through cobwebbed corners,
Pulling at age-old tablecloths, considering
A garden party for me and my little lost smile
There in the half-wild,
With the sun like messy oil I'll have to wash
Out of my hair and clothing when I'm done.

I hate playing docile card games alone,
Laying out plans like pictures I'll never colour in-
My doughy brain pokes stimulus off the shelf  
And traps itself in kindergarten daydreams;
I fingerpaint endlessly,
Defining the world through crayon senses,
Crushing, mushing cookies and shaking
Clumsy maraca beats.

If only I could lie down in soft rustic flesh
Snatching handfuls of it to conceal my skin
Finally, finally filling myself in
Buried alive for good
And be expelled, again, into blazing harshness
Choking on the earth that forms my body
Crying, crying for hope and fresh presence
Coming to life for good.

Pray tell, is this weighed-down mortal
allowed to borrow your angelic wings?

Can such a grounded soul learn to fly from your all-or-nothing example?

If I keep my promise to follow the endless strings of love to the bitter end

Shall I then perhaps come close to seeing the birth of a new sun, the very first breath of the open sea?

Will you care enough to embrace me in this unbearable lightness of being?

You don't have to say either yes or no

Just tell me it is possible...

I had a dream
Birds spoke to each other
I talked to them
Yet they didn’t speak my language
Never understood
The message I sang
Sat down on a dock
Gazing into water
Black as space
My head spun like a top
Dropped into the galactic water
I could see the stars
Feel the touch of the galaxy’s embrace
Spheres
As far as I could see
In the center of the stars
Resided a babe
Small in size
Recently placed
I grasped the child
Looking for a parent
Until I woke up
Stuck not in space
But in the duties of adulthood

The joys of creation
Is theirs to own
A burden than a joy
Carried on alone

The joys of creation
Is theirs alone
A burden of a joy
Is mine to own

Such a joy to be created
Given although I never asked
Accessed without my permission
I was built, birthed to last