Relapse
Collapse into my arms
And just relax
Collide into in my heart
Even though you're scared
You will find no harm here
Even as you
Relapse

Fire dancer
Dancing on glowing coals
Your body's ablaze
There's a fire in your soul
Hold out your hands
Upon them flickers a flame
One day I hope to play with fires
And not get burned like same

Marionette
Your wooden body is an art
In every carve and every crevice
You were beauty from the start
A chip off the old block
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
The pleasure would've been mine to control you
But the true marionette is me

Ordinary encounters
My conscience counterattacks
I grow my wings to the angels
From all the knives within my back
From whatever that happened
To whoever will rule her
I'm changing my past
The present is my future

Woman at the well
Sitting on its borders
Looking down within
She fell, she fell

Buckets come, buckets go
Water is taken
She sinks down some more
In the well, for she fell

Meet her there
Halfway, all the way

The zebra layed flat across the road
I walked over on its furs
The traffic director signalled us to go across
If we find the need to cross
To my right, on the pedestrian crossing,
The skittles on the wheels were in line, silently
I was halfway there

To my left was a bus, still coming, full speed
Although it shouldn't be moving
I continued walking and it was yards away
I was almost there

Close to death and close to the end of the road.
The director noticed the bus and I continued to walk
It kept coming at me

Once again the story didn't have a happy ending
I walked away unharmed
My heart didn't even race

Behind me, I saw the bus being pulled over
My sister eventually catched up with me and we went to school.

On the ride to, what I went through kept replaying in my head.
Why didn't I hesitate?
My body might have not survived the impact
Why didn't I die?
Was it my fault?
Why didn't he stop?

Hours pass and I still think back
Feeling traumatized by my survival at that cross
It's sad to say
I lived another day
To fall apart, to die and to decay
I'm very sorry
Sorry for my loss.

Looking at your body
I catch feels
It must be so nice
To feel real
“I’m beautiful just as I am”
You figure
Telling me things like these
Get me triggered

Setting goals for myself
In front of the mirror
Seeing my reflection
Checking out my figure
Under 110lbs
Yes to less, no to bigger
Remembering things like these
Always get me triggered

Sometimes it feels
Ever so slightly annoying
Sometimes I just can’t
Be on my best behaviour

Life is a test,
I’m failing my papers
I want me dead
But that is for later

I am obsessed
There isn’t enough evidence
My worthlessness’s
Determined by my intelligence

Days. Weeks months: time
I’ll tell you that I’m feeling fine
My performances are only Fs

I WANNA TEAR EVERY LIGAMENT TO SHREDS
My heart is what broke
I sw**r I wouldn’t do it again
Knives, lemme *******?
Can’t disappoint you if I am dead
"Get lost and never be found."
That’s what she said

Pop ‘em pillies
OD on my pellets, I know
It ain’t pretty:
Experienced, suicidal
Gotham city
All up in head I rave, yup
Desperate times
I will show you how bad I gave up

Shovel in my hands
I’m digging my own grave
You don’t understand
It’s too late to be saved
Falling for the trap
To be poisoned, no comment
There’s no turning back
Let’s pretend I’m a rodent

Pop ‘em pillies
Pop, pop
Pop ‘em pillies
Pillies
It ain’t pretty
The ways that I **** me
I’m my own pest control
And I dig my own grave
These are just one of the ways
To show you how bad I gave up

I'll shut me down
I can't see anything left to save
We collapse and she relapses into all that she gave
An autopsy, an eternal grave:
These aren't the colours that I should see