How can I sleep when my thoughts are still awake.
How can I sleep, when my heart feels like it is going to break?
how can I stay awake when my mind is falling apart, with its flowers closing in thoughts,
how can I stay awake, when I am tired, dripping down into the waters, fading away into the nothingness of my mind.
How? Ever, can I be who you want me to be?
When it is so hard to even fall asleep,
When it is so hard to fall back into dreams.
It's probably possible,
to be who you are,
but I need your help,
to go where you are.

I'm
  f
   a
     l
      l
        i
          n
            g
asleep.

Your
arm
  b
    e
      n
         e
           a
             t
               h
me.

Your
voice
  m
     e
       l
         t
           s
me.

Your
love
  s
   u
     r
       r
         o
            n
              d
                 s
me.

I'm
  h
     a
       p
         p
           y.

For
now.

Do you ever feel as though you’ve fallen asleep for days at a time? Where you methodically move through life without any feeling but that forlorn sense of purposelessness you get while grasping for the details of the dream that made you throw your naked body out of bed freezing cold and dripping sweat that tastes like an awful lot like tears? Where it feels like you really should be able to coil further into yourself than your ******* knees will bend just so you could be away for a while? But then a breeze shifts and with it carries the smell of the sea or the sun shines through leaves leaving trees casting shadows over the sidewalk and wakes you stop in your tracks and look up and remember the sky is blue and that time when you were young and your parents let you think you got away with it? You start to sing as you sit in commuter traffic to drown out car horns and you forget that you’re bad at it? Between songs grinning because there’s one last bag of rice in the kitchen for one more meal before you go to bed and hope you're still awake when you get up again?

I crave for saying your name out in public
But I can't.
Why?

But,
I say it alone every night
Looking towards the ceiling
Still silently
Countless times
It sounds sweet
Every **** time!
And slowly fall asleep.

i can't remember my dreams anymore
not the ones i fashioned when i was asleep
nor when i was awake

When everyone's asleep
I admit my defeat

When everyone celebrates 
My depression elevates 

Because while everyone is dreaming on
I stand frozen and watch my dreams burn on

And while everybody gather with family and friends
I stand lonesome and watch my world burn again