If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into you. I know this to be true, even if the abyss is not necessarily anything outside myself. The abyss is simply, The Abyss. It is not within me or without me, it is just being. And I do gaze into it. I don't really take this to mean that I will become like my hates or enemies, as I believe that I have always been what I hate- my own worst enemy. I take this to say that The Abyss, for however long I look into it, also looks into me. It leaves marks on my soul; deep gouges made with stained black talons. The Abyss is many things, and also nothing at the same time. It is darkness, that is a given, it is also The End. It is The Apocalypse, it is The End of Time. The Abyss is the complete-stop-of-everything. Some people even believe that the surging water-deep of a literal abyss is Hell itself, though I think I know better. The Abyss is not Hell, because when your soul is released from your vessel, and you of course have committed sin, you do not go to The Abyss. Your soul does not forever reside in the Nothingness of The Abyss, your soul does not belong to it unless it belongs to you. Even so, after looking into The Abyss for a long period of time, it is hard to shake the feeling of its eyes on you. It can linger for days, and the restless, dreamless state that those eyes leave you in is hard to leave behind. As someone who is constantly staring into The Abyss, I find that it never quite leaves me. It's almost as if The Abyss has left some part of it inside me, within my very being. I can't hope to root it out without never seeing into The Abyss ever again, and I don't imagine that will happen any time soon. The Abyss has been a... comfort to me. The promise of Nothingness, of simply Not Being, has always appealed to me. This existence of mine has not been an easy one, but it has been growing on me. Even with the promise of Nothingness, I think that I will try and stay Existing for as long as I can. Existing has its perks of course. I get to think and feel and experience, and part of that Feeling is Love, which I believe may be the most important one of all. What is there, without Love?

That, I believe, is what The Abyss actually is. Lack of Love.

The trail of destruction,
The silence of screams,
All of humanity,
Forgotten to dreams.

The silence of life,
That has become no more,
Haunts only the rocks,
And the broken sea floor.

The storms that once ravished,
Humanity’s home,
Now carry fire,
Melting even their stone.

The ground is all scarred,
Where the meadows once grew,
Just a crack in the surface,
Where rivers once drew.

Night and day,
No longer opposed,
The contrast of weather,
No longer imposed.

The passing of time,
Is no longer consistent,
The bonds of its measure,
No longer resistant.

The world is all quiet,
There is nothing to hear it,
Existence is lost,
While nothing can live it.

So the pain has all gone,
The tears have dried,
Humanity lived wrong,
Now the planet has died

Decades pass like seconds-
Ever closer till we go,

Flowers wilt from acid rain-
How could you not know?

You taste sorrow on the wind-
Drifting past us, it may slow,

It's my turn to say goodbye,
Never colder will we grow.

And then, in a lightning flash,
You know they spoke the truth!

A brilliant mind, a dire warning,
But you ignored the youth.

A cinder party, a barren tree,
Another extinction unknown,

Blind behind gilded palace walls,
You can die there, all alone.

God gave us the stars to shoot for
so we would have ***** other
than our sister or brother
eager to reach the shooting range we slammed the shuttle door
on our captain’s silver crown
in a sea spilling from His ichor
sack punctured by our hubris we drown-
memes and cat videos worth dying for

We set fire to the shuttle
gasp as our air begins to leave
Amazon(s) choose to scuttle
trees land and humans need to breathe
a musk most putrid rises as we cannibalize our space ex
who’s so far gone as to not come back
her zombie bridezilla tirade wrecks  
our plan it removes futures from the trajectory track

God gave us the stars to shoot for
so we reduced our target to soot
we revelled in our high score
not feeling the pain in our shot foot
and the cats still in secret revery dance their funny jig
sardonic wit stuffed still in every blank screen -small or large-
on the skeleton of our ghastly ghost space rig
reduced to rubble by a friendly depth charge.

God gave us the stars to shoot for
it was we who chose to use a gun
we chose to ram through the door
not checking if it was open
God gave us the stars to shoot for
leaving the details for us to decide
rockets to be built to make war or explore
as shuttlecraft for a human slingshot ride
an arching advance into the beauties of
our Creator made for us to enjoy in love
~
NM
08/25/19

For them every good thing has a price
They do not value a beautiful soul
Only the messy words that can be squeezed from it
When they're not ****** the body, or starving it
Money money money
All they love
But I oughtn't call it love
For them love is a commodity
Its so obvious, but they're so evil they are oblivious
The truest haters I've ever seen or smelled
I won't feel bad to see them squashed
Maybe then, a droplet of love will be squeezed from them
Like the billion snails killed to make a liter of red dye
Let the skies be filled with fire
And the rivers with their blood
Then I might find one drop of blue
In this island of brown stains