if happiness was a cake,
i wouldn't get a slice.
yet when a loving soul
offers me a bite
i devour more than
i was allowed.
he smiles & laughs.
it's no big deal to him.
he can always grab
another slice.
but i am overcome with
guilt & fear.
i wasn't allowed.
that's his slice.
i wasn't allowed.
i'm not allowed this cake.
i cannot allow myself
to enjoy the taste.
so i purge myself
of what i've taken.
guilty & fearful
that i am not allowed
not allowed to taste
this sweetness
although it's all i crave.
i run & hide away
out of fear.
i'm not allowed
i'm not allowed
i'm not allowed
to have a piece.
confused, he follows
& he watches me
torturing myself
with pain in his chest
& tears in his eyes.
he just wanted me to
enjoy a slice for once...

at  last she is  still
how frigid and shallow she may be
I can never find enough room to escape her.
You swallow me in the mist of everything
from the shadows you slip and fall
into my  wounds.

I am constraint
In a constraint body
I move from thought to thought
race  between a permanent
solitude
I hear a screaming voice
and it´s my own
She´s screaming out my own
deepest   secrets
Who  did I tell my  shame?
If not you
You keep me, in a confinement
locked in among my frustrated fears
morbidly amused by their strenght
I  stay in here.
Where else  would I go
If  not   back to you.

I´ve had my fair share
of not wanting to exist
The sole purpose of my life
was to  eventually die out
on my own way.
Even though I´ve wished upon
death more times then I
congratulated my organs
for granting me one more day
of misery.
I will not be shame myself
for dreaming about death.
I  just wish I had woken up sooner.

I  rise  despite sickness,
The invisible parasite
that  clings on me
Has found his way out of my bed
The  darkness of my secrets.
will be destroyed in his eyes

at last she lays  still
how frigid and stiff she may be
I can never find a way to touch her
I still cannot escape the curves
You fill me  in  the middle of
a lonesome afternoon
From the shadows
rising to find my wounds
Against the rough embrace of heaven
flows my  nightmares
How my fighting spirit will endure them all!
This is a time when
All I love  wants to devour me.

hosted by most
of the demons
You know,

I say farwell
to your sorrows,

No longer will
I fall into
your shadows,

I wont cry
in your sleep
nor will I linger
in the water
when you drown

My footprints
wont be visible
to your eyes,
I wont enlighten
your tears when
ever they fall
at my ground

Gone away


Leaving my
broken wishes
on your pillow

Night  into  night  
carriyng  all your  secrets
In every  mineral  tear
that  slips  through her body
is  you

-2015/05/08