at last she lays  still
how frigid and stiff she may be
I can never find a way to touch her
I still cannot escape the curves
You fill me  in  the middle of
a lonesome afternoon
From the shadows
rising to find my wounds
Against the rough embrace of heaven
flows my  nightmares
How my fighting spirit will endure them all!
This is a time when
All I love  wants to devour me.

at  last she is  still
how frigid and shallow she may be
I can never find enough room to escape her.
You swallow me in the mist of everything
from the shadows you slip and fall
into my  wounds.

My anxiety
Is literally killing me
Combat the dark force

I perform
with aniexty
Using whatever
leftover energy
I have
To transform
a frown
into a smile
Am I  Okay?
No not really
Will I ever be Okay?
No not really

Do you know what its like to feel absolutely soul destroyed,
Have you actually ever felt you're heart completely crumble.
Does your heart ever break like mine?

Are you always full of fear & doubt?
Riddled with aniexty, unable to do simple thing's in life?

Do you know what its like for someone to take absolutely everything from you?
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Nine extra months of my life have been taken, i know it's not just these nine ethier.

Ive always wanted justice for what you have done to me, im too tired now.
I wish i could just close this book because you're not even a chapter. You've taken my whole life from me.

You've not even had enough time to worry about what you're future holds.
Ive had years up on years unable to have a future because of what you have done to me.
You have taken absolutely everything my body holds.
Im numb, im soul destroyed.

I will thank you one day when im at peace.
I will gain closure, i will gain peace & i will take my life back from out of you're hands.

Nothing will ever cure what you have done to me. Absolutely nothing. I do hope you can admit what you are to you're self & you gain forgiveness from you're self. I forgive what you have done. Not for you but for me.

I will never be over it. Nothing will take the damage away.

All my friends have gone away
They have their own hobbies or jobs
Smoking tree or living by the sea
And so, so far away from me

To be home and to be alone
Is very underrated
I crave to create and I crave conversation
But being alone has caused aniexty, doubt, and hesitation

This summer had been the longest yet
I'm trying to move on and I'm trying to forget the things I had left in this town two summers ago
The smell of eucalyptus still haunts me
the road by your house, the need to look into your driveway, still taunts me

I cannot breathe.
My lungs have stopped working,
Because crippling aniexty is making me heave,
And I can feel depression smirking.