When your true soul mate is near,
The world becomes more beautiful,
The colours more vibrant,
And it seems that everything will be ok.

When your true soul mate strays afar,
The world becomes more ugly,
The colours more dull,
And it seems that everything will be different.

When your true soul mate has passed away,
The world becomes more depressing,
The colours more black and white,
And it seems that everything will be breaking.

When your true soul mate comes back to keep you company,
The world becomes more manageable,
The colours more tinted and full of life,
And it seems that everything will be alright once more.

you are a diamond and there is a speck of eyeliner winged out and smudged on your cheekbone.
even diamonds have flaws.

we are driving down a narrow highway onto a bridge and you snort when you laugh. i'm dreaming because i don't think real life has an 8mm film reel collecting all the times we felt like we were flying. when we felt like we were in a movie and we were heroes. we were royalty and when you smile, it feels like heaven. it feels like all the gold in the world has been poured into my veins, it feels like good drugs and good friends and a good life.

i have sunglasses on my face and a thin tan line on my shoulder blade and your freckles dot your eyes more than any alphabet, a play on words, witty banter, your solid, subtle smile with parentheses near your cheeks.

when i think of you, i think of cherry chapstick, a whole pizza to ourselves, and your glasses. i think of hope and fate and destiny and love, not the kind of love we hear thrown around during friday night football, but the kind of love that doesn't burn out. the kind of love that resembles crystal and fun times and the things that quiet poets write about after they drink ***** for the first time. the love that keeps its infinities hidden under its sleeves, like the pen ink on your arms under your sweater.

i think of flowers and cigarettes and laughing and smoking and crossing everything off of our bucket lists, running to little rivers and giving new life to old constellations, telling prophets our stories; we became royalty, we became the night that our friends dreamed of.

You chose to be with her,
and that is very much alright,
and now I have this new sense of freedom

I feel like I could run to anyone or anywhere

But what makes this so ****** up
is that I'd still run back to you.

Alright, alright fine.

I guess maybe I over reacted a little bit

I mean, I suppose it's not as though we were dating, just flirting

Flirting is a very different thing. No commitment.

It's not like you broke any promises

I guess that if I had thought that I had a chance with someone I had convinced myself I loved for a long time, I would probably have done the same thing

I'm still ****** of course, don't get me wrong

I still want to hurt you

I still hate you with every ounce of my being

I still have reason to blame you

Don't get me wrong on that.

I still blame you, and have every right to

However,

I suppose

Maybe

I don't loathe you anymore

I guess I have re-examined and a lot of it was in my head

I made up a lot and mistook lots of what you said

I'm not saying I don't believe I had every right to react negatively

But I guess I'll admit, I overreacted.

Alright?

But you still hurt me.

Even if you didn't mean to.

And I have developed a bit of a plan.

Careful.