I look up
I see lies
I look across
I see lies
I look in
I see lies
In every man's eyes
I see manipulation
The only truth I've known
Came  only for redemption
So fickle so true
My souls about as good
As one from a shoe
Beat me up take me down
I wont know any different
Inexperience is the death of the innocent

I’m numb

I can’t feel the world

I can’t see the light

I’m a hopeless girl

I have a cold heart

I’m not even there

I’m a soulless body

And I don’t even care

If I slit my wrists

And I bleed out

I’ll count the minutes

Until I’m out

In an endless sleep

I weep

And no one knows

There is nothing but cuts

Beneath my clothes

I cry

As I try

To hide the pain

But it’s all the same

I’ll try to make

Myself

Go away

And I’m the only one to blame

And I have nothing else to say

I promised you that I would stay

But not today

I pray

You won’t be angry

If I don’t wake

Tomorrow day

Because my whole world

Has turned gray

And soon

I know I’ll fade

Fade away

And disappear

Please hold

The memory of me

So dear

I can’t

I can’t

I can’t go on

Even with you

I’m still not strong

I say I can’t do this

On my own

But even with you

I do not grow

I’m still not happy

Just please know

I love you dearly

But I have to go

Sing me a song

While I sleep

Keep me warm

And please don’t leave

Just stay with me

Throughout the night

And everything

Will be

Alright

I love you so much

So please don’t cry

Everything will be

Alright

I’ll die in the night

Free of fright

And everything

Will be

Alright.

I don't seem do this well,
sitting at the table
pretending everything is alright.
I'd rather sit
in the corner of the bedroom
and listen to beautiful nothing
than listen to voices drip blood
on razor blade silence.

Promises have no meaning to them.
Absolutely none.
But I will give you
everything I've got
to have everything make since-
and then suddenly ill disappear.
                                                                                     Gone without a trace.

Life shouldn't be this busy
when I'm sitting on this floor
wondering what to do.
The answer is on my fingers
playing these strings...
                                                                                             *This is the one.

I contrive to redefine the lines,
Equivalent to defying midnight skies.
Freedom is my bride,
Despite ignorance of a guide.
Why are my mental insides open wide?

What does my future hold?
Specify which road or ride,
And if so why?
You don't know why,
Because you aren't my guide,
And it's all up to me.
I'll pick the right time to arrive,
Alright.

(c) 2014 Brandon Antonio Smith

(Originally written 10/9/10
Revised 9/29/14)

For the first time I saw the light
And for once I felt alright
The sun shined on my skin
And I could feel it all through in
The wind flew through my hair
And I got tingles everywhere
I laughed my hardest laugh
But not on your behalf
For once I felt alright
Because I saw the light

I told you not to worry, everything’s alright.
I’m here, watching raindrops trickle down the window pane,
Making mountains out of molehills, hidden only by the night.

Upon Primrose Hill, the city in sight,
I’d live this moment again, and again.
I told you not to worry, everything’s alright.

I fear sometimes that all you see is a glowing red light,
You’ll notice and whisper ‘don’t worry, fear is my domain’.
Making mountains out of molehills, hidden only by the night.

We’re two magpies that come together in flight.
Your incandescent heart is a match for my incandescent veins,
I told you not to worry. Everything’s alright.

My words sometimes stutter, a sort of stage fright
That sets in from my stomach through to my brain.
Making mountains out of molehills, hidden only by the night.

Under this blanket of stars, darling, sleep tight.
This feeling I hold shall not wane.
I told you not to worry, everything’s alright;
(We’re just) making mountains out of molehills, hidden only by the night.