#alcoholism poems on Hello Poetry

Sarah Mar 2017

Relapse.

Once you left me,
my life turned into a downward spiral.

I kept tumbling down.

Once you came back to me,
i couldn't regain my balance.

So I dragged you down with me.

Written 4/25/16

#love #addiction #relapse #freeverse #addict #triggered #alcoholism #druguser #sarahrh

Francis May 2017

Vermouth

And then the barkeep said...

"One more drop and he'll change from blue to black..."

Running a bar is easy when you know how certain drinks affect people.

#bartending #alcoholism #drinks #martini

ry Apr 2017

i miss you.

i do nothing
i do nothing but sit
i do nothing but ponder
i do absolutely nothing but wonder
is this all there is ? is this all thats left ?

you wouldn't know it but i miss it
i think you do too or at least you know what i mean
i miss it i miss it genuinely with every bit of myself
terrible for me my god it was awful completely awful
destroying myself from the inside out
my immature body aging by 10 years with the things I've done
but i miss it i miss them

once you start something and you know what it does
theres something about it
it doesn't make you want to stop
and it doesn't make you want to quit and drop to your knees
and repent and plead for forgiveness for days on end
no rather it.... it simply adds to the appeal
you know with a capital 'K' that you shouldn't be doing it
yet you glance over your shoulder and continue as simple as that

and you think that someone would say that you shouldn't
that you should put it down stop what you're doing
get it out of you as soon as possible that you should stop
before something truly awful happens
but they don't actually isn't that funny ?
they just watch and watch as you continue to die

so yes i miss it
so yes i miss them
i miss it like i had one yesterday
i miss the way i would be enabled by others
i miss the way it made my insides feel
it made me feel wrong and like i would drop and begin to detach and spill out at any moment
i miss the way it obliterated my anxiety
i miss the way it added to my depression
making me numb and unconscious to the fact
that everything around me was going wrong
it wasn't very good but it was beneficial and my god
how i miss it

#depression #anxiety #addiction #alcoholism #mistakes

unnamed Apr 2017

Matthias

The alcoholic only turns to Jesus because He has wine in His veins
And I know a man that turned his back on rehabilitation
So to focus on reconciliation

And he did it well
But he winced when drinking His blood
The pain of redemption, perhaps
A hundred eyes on him with his vice on his tongue

It could have been his own blood in the chalice for all he gave
He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear
They looked down on him up on that altar
And prayed for him to be forgiven

The spirits he confides in are not holy
And they stain his Jesus-white robes
He chose the hardest penance
On direct path to righteousness

Not even a hundred hail Marys could fix this
Vinegar on a sponge looks tempting
Cleanse me from all my sin
You better make sure His diary is clear

They do not understand
That for him it carries no salvation
An inconvenience of eternal life
Is to suffer for the beginning

I'm back, I suppose, and I'll be posting some older writing that I never published before over the next few weeks, or whenever I run out of words

#sin #addiction #god #religion #alcohol #priest #christianity #alcoholism #catholic

JAC Apr 2017

Consuming Confidence

Put down your bottle
Drink some fresh air
You can't conjure hell
If you're already there
Stop sipping confidence
This ichor wears out
It empties anxieties
Then fills you with doubt.

#hell #doubt #anxiety #empty #drink #drinking #air #confidence #alcoholism #bottle

Julia Mae Apr 2017

bottles.

she was the only thing that made sense to me on the days where i drank myself to no end
she was always so patience with her hands, ready to catch me whenever i stumbled in this drunken stupor
i know that it was hard for her to watch me **** myself with each sip i brought to my lips
yet she must know that i tried, i tried with all of my might to make everything right
so when she finally left, absolutely nothing made sense
and i cursed my empty bottles because that's all they ever became once i ****** all of the poison from them
empty, shame, left with no blame on anyone else but myself
she said i didn't try hard enough
and i broke all of the bottles as i sat within the remnants of glass
nothing
nothing
made sense

#love #addiction #alcohol #empty #sense #drinking #tragedy #emptiness #alcoholism

Aviendha Goodrich Mar 2017

verbal abuse

Everything I say bounces off the walls in your brain.
The drink made you insane-
I've seen it once, I see it again,
I prepare myself for another bitter end.
It's relentless, it's hopeless
The way you give in
It's just like how my mother made you
Bury yourself in sin.
It's my childhood all over again.
Everyone tells me I don't deserve this;
I didn't deserve any of it.
I'm not a *****,
But I'm *******,
Microwave your mind's eye
And I'll be busy rebuilding mine.
It's a level of a detachment
That mingles wth dissociation.
The creak of the wheel turning in your head-
It's falling off the track.
You are not my father
When you are drunk.

#sad #drunk #addiction #depression #mentalillness #alcoholism #parent

Andrew Kelly Mar 2017

Stumbling Sailor

With my head held high,
Feeling light.
I jaunt down the avenue.

The heels of my feet unsteady,
“This sailor still has his sea legs!”
I gargle as my body stumbles,
Tumbles,
Face bloodied on asphalt and rubble.

Even though my mug is mangled,
My bottle is intact.
And that is what truly matters.

The glass cannot break;
Shred my being to tatters!
Before I part from my everlasting bond
Of neck in hand.

One last swig!
Before I head out to sea.
I may drown…
But there’s no drink in the deep.

#addiction #depression #sailor #alcoholism #harbor #stupor #dockworker

S Michael Vandiver Mar 2017

His Understanding of Sadness

he hides his sadness
with photographs and

another rickety lie

to himself about sepia memories
of sad days he thinks were
better ones

the evidence of last nights tears
stains on the sheets he
wears wrapped around

his bruised, choking heart
beats relentlessly as he scrawls

another loving hash mark
into a never ending

patch
of
skin

Read the three part discussion on Sadness here:

https://hellopoetry.com/collection/31132/sadness/

#love #poetry #sad #hate #emotion #alcoholism