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sarah Jan 2018
i want to snap the gold and silver rings that desperate me from you
like a bathroom stall that will never be vacant again
you're gone

reinforced number, primary outsider
i wished for the unachievable and it turned out to be true
stereotypy and sitting pretty
please fall in love with the fantasy of me
i could've done whatever, been whatever
the lines in my hand are fading slow
cut them open and see what's inside

oh, how the wasted years pull on me like an outgrown shirt
i can't see any other way to pass them without you running through me, an electric pull to the long walks to class, tilted heads through doors
look at me and hear me

paper cuts, physical education and rejection
was it all to be left behind?
oh, to have known how it would all crease out like crumpled paper and smudged words by shaking hands
phone calls on grey white buttons in a grey white building, the hope of connection that could never be there

opportunities for you to admit and confess it all
wait like me
and never say goodbye
i wanted to work more on this but what can i say, it’s hard to write about people who no longer have a place in your head
sarah May 2017
you ask me about my dreams through the rear view mirror and making me realise that to give me success you had to let me go, flooding me with endearing idioms
when your eyes look behind I'm there in an elusive way
telling me that I'm your weakness through old-sounding playlists in a new-smelling car
and I'm making you laugh as sweet as artificial strawberry over coffee in a part of the city that you don't know well, the part that I love
together we could take this place over, if you like
be concerned about where I'm going and how safe I will be, but I am staying, now you know, do not forget
I am making you happy but not in a place you need, so from May to December lets go west, far, to where your heart lies
I never thought I would publish this but here we are
sarah May 2017
you told me to remember you when I am famous
but I think about you all the time
I guess this is what success feels like
sarah Apr 2017
The alcoholic only turns to Jesus because He has wine in His veins
And I know a man that turned his back on rehabilitation
So to focus on reconciliation

And he did it well
But he winced when drinking His blood
The pain of redemption, perhaps
A hundred eyes on him with his vice on his tongue

It could have been his own blood in the chalice for all he gave
He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear
They looked down on him up on that altar
And prayed for him to be forgiven

The spirits he confides in are not holy
And they stain his Jesus-white robes
He chose the hardest penance
On direct path to righteousness  

Not even a hundred hail Marys could fix this
Vinegar on a sponge looks tempting
Cleanse me from all my sin
You better make sure His diary is clear

They do not understand
That for him it carries no salvation
An inconvenience of eternal life
Is to suffer for the beginning
I'm back, I suppose, and I'll be posting some older writing that I never published before over the next few weeks, or whenever I run out of words
sarah May 2015
i used to be able to find you whenever i wanted
like my favourite star in the sky
but now you're just a flicker in my vision
your voice is just another noise in the walls
they said that you cut your hair and got a new tattoo
i couldn't prove it if i tried
we used to need things from each other
like the moon needs something to twirl around
but you are a sun and i am only a lost planet
and the universe is these walls which hold us together
and keep us apart
sarah Dec 2014
i found an online dating profile belonging to you
this means that you and her are over
(unless you are openly expressing your infidelity)
all your friends are married and i think you know that it's time to join them
i don't fit into your desired age range
nor your basic interests
but i am wishing you luck
because this means you aren't waiting for me
i really mean this one
sarah Nov 2014
give me a white room with him on a couch
while we talk about his lover
he looks at me while he kisses her
i know he wishes it was me in his arms
and i will keep trying
until it is
a possible series of drabbles about dreams
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