She had become a pale wraith
Just a ghost of the girl gone
Blondness and whiteness faded into one
Dead already
But not yet really
Still breathing
But with no heart beating
Nothing warm or filled with love
Just the pinch of the needle
Stinging in her arm
Her only smile
For that pleasure
But that too would soon be gone
And she would be cold and still
And she would wait in her bed
Frozen like a statue
Waiting for someone to find her
And consign her to the ground

Forbidden always attract the curious mind

It's like playing with fire

Once started, it can't be stopped

A zombie when going through symptom withdrawal

An addict needing the daily fix

I picked up survival techniques to make ends meet
I learned life lessons through trial and error, pleasure and pain
In more ways than one, and in repeat; weak, no choice but to retreat
To keep track marks discrete, I was desperate, finding harmony in a colony of broken lives,

Incomplete

I did this before,
I broke the habit,

Now I must contrite for all the wrongs done in my life while I was outside myself

In another mentality, where the world is transformed anew

When your under the influence, you lose all track of time and space and in its place, is only brief tranquility and release

It snuck up on me
So eloquently

You're twisted form of art, leaving me with goosebumps, a sweet bile

Now, you've caught me trapped in your web - an appetite for the dead

I write the best at night when I can't sleep
the IV is dressed like stability,
heart like an addict but could never commit.
unhealthy habits I never wanted to quit
I didn't look sick.

when the memories are lucid and loud
your words come alive in nightmares,
nurses rush to check I'm not climbing out the fire escape again
easier to jump out than to let anyone in

so used to leaving in a panic I never learned to use the door,
I still feel the burn of your hand on my cheek and the cool of the floor


I write the best at night when I can't sleep
the IV is dressed like stability,
heart like an addict but could never commit.
unhealthy habits I never wanted to quit
I didn't look sick.

I took classes about drugs
what could happen if we tried them
All the street names and side effects,
prison times and famous users
but we never learned what to do when the drug had
brown hair and blue eyes and held your hand in the back of a cruiser

I didn't look sick,
I climbed out the fire escape quick
for one last hit because you asked me to and I didn't think twice about it

I'm a lit. addict, I guess,
I read and write, no less,
In my room where  I don't confess,
Read, and keep on scribbling, eh,
Hope you'll read my verse one day.....

A kiss on the cheek
A kiss on bare lips
A kiss on the nose
A kiss on bare hips

One kiss to a girl
One kiss to a boy
One kiss to a dog
One kiss to a stuffed toy

Kisses on rooftops
Kisses on beds
Kisses on tiptoes
Kisses thought out in heads

An addict for sure
Is what I must be
For I love me some kisses
And some kisses love me