Hello past and future me,
How's life?

I'm saying goodbye to all that doesn't show,
Finally moving on.

2023, the year I leave,
Goodbye everyone I knew.

Hopefully it's a good year,
At least better than 2022

Verily, the year would come to a halt,
And a voyage of another 365 days shall begin,
As it has always been, as nature has always preceeded.

With bunch of wishes, I dreamt,
With a lot of goals, I strived,
With little achieved, I'm not filled with contention but happiness.

Several 24 hours filled with mixed reactions,
Hours filled with estacy and joy,
Days I'm broken with worries.

New figures have appeared,
Ones, who have enjoined me in friendship,
Yet, acquittance that turned sour and never saw the light of companionship.

And came Music, whose lyrics and beats blew my mind,
Football, whose tension thrilled my soul,
Novels, which broadened my comprehension.

Whatever 23 has in stock, I'm filled with hope,
Hoping my goals shall not be mere dreams,
And the dreams shall see the light of success.

All pray for sunny rays
But the sunny days have
gone
a--way
lead astray smokey grey just to say
good--bye
Yeah,
I must have blazed a few back in my
Hey--day
But the skies still blue turns a different hue
but only on May--
Days
Well.,
I guess that's the reason why the meaning of life
Or at least for me?
is so
un--substantial even tho some-times we fold
but don't forget_ to line it with hope
Or maybe much so?
that our minds are now frac--
tured
So..
Don't tread on my mi-cro frac--
tions
( As I would often say )
Seeing that mines are both split / in personalities of my current
Reality?
Yo.,
But that's just a very small frac--
shun
in this type of  re--
ac-
            tion

Forgive me Father for we were too blind to lead our hearts, misled by our fragile thoughts and irreconcilable differences.
Forgive me Father for the misinterpretation created in in my head by dilemma and submerged in trauma;
I was blind to trust and numb to disregard  our own fresh wounds rubbed in salts in guise of words.
W o r d s
Cuts like a knife, straight to the heart and insidious
Like an uninvited guest, it stays till you're completely exhausted.
Drowned myself in vulnerability to trust the stranger
Unsure of the grave repercussion and danger.
Forgive us Father for losing ourselves in pain and game
For we were too naive to comprehend
Until we embarked on suffering till the end.

Have writ of the return to our sheltering place so oft,
sanity suggests move on to a topic lesser revered, yet,
the throb of compulsion is irresistible, immovable, irrefutable!
so the fingertips tango step over a white screen dance floor,
looking, for old steps, new combinations, awaiting reincarnation!

as if self-denial was even possible, sanity and need are irrecusable.

Every exodus requires a commencement miracle, ours annualized,
the small SUV engorged, supplies-swollen, a Chanukah oil miracle,
time & space expand - always enough, calm stating, ¡más! accepting
all offerings and longings, rolling merrily along the worn paths and hamlets of Indian origin, voyagers, port to port, till we are destined,

free forced to isle~ferry, to-exhale relief; Here! an embraceable peace.

Water~bounded, isolated isola, surround~sounded tween two spits of land, two forks, two tines, define/defend its in~between persona,
welcoming but skeptical, welcoming but take note, we all become an islander, even by osmosis, distinctive, in~possession of a collective history of heroes memory, inscribed names, on our ferries, highways, & eyes

we all become sheltered islanders, serving by remembering….

Memorial Day 2022
Shelter Island

It still haunts and keeps me anxious when silence comes in the form of uninvited guests at night, invoking the sense of melancholy deeply; like a salt rubbed on a fresh wound.
Part of me still wishes to turn back the time and rewrite the story, part of me aches for TABULA RASA~ a state of blank mind.
And part of me is still reeling on the nightmares which was my reality; while I was still trying to hold a grip over my sanity.
Monster exist in humans and sometime they're insidious like cancer. They eat you slowly while you're still unaware of the symptoms that you had to compromise with. The more you compromised and adjusted, the more it gave them the chance to deteriorate your worth.
I wore a smile and wore my mask of resilience so well that silently I bore the pain, while I was dying inside, yet nobody could see it with naked eyes.
And yet, I was blamed for all the repercussions I had to deal with.
And while the monster lurks around freely, I still walk on the path courageously, with fear but I'll keep walking on, even if it means to be alone.
Freedom is a lonely road.
👣

I've been fighting with temptation in everyday that I'm
faced with
Resetting my mind
all of my hopes and my dreams
onto the re--placement
Of every loss
And the suicidal thoughts of me
Losing / Control
Still engaged in my mind, I'm inclined
while
Maintaining the goal
of walking down that straight and
narrow road of Life
Because I have a date with Destiny in spite of what is ailing me
in-
Sight
While all the while?
Through the dark of night
I'm forced to fight with many
different things,
With no self-esteem trying to figure out
who to believe
And who to trust and on whom
can I call?
Soul is uncontent to balance the fence
Slowly committed to fall
All while seeing the steady fall
Of my many brethrens called
For the same purpose and the work that was meant for us all
But still my soul fell slowly down
De-pression's Well
Totally left to figure out how to
make it out
Wondering how I slipped and fell?
Fallen waist deep
Lost
within the clutches of grief
With seemingly no way of me finding
an answer,
And no way of me holding my Peace
So as a means of release?
I'm now speaking my Peace
Releasing for this reason having the means
of picking up the
Spiritual  Pieces
And putting it all back together using it for what it's worth
Visualizing the Holy theme giving birth to revive my hopes and
Dreams
But these dreams are not seen through the eyes of surprise
But only seen through the joyfulness of watching our spirits
Rise
Riiising out of the ashes where the
fearfulness is cruel and savage,
Out of the madness where the hopelessness is the rule of sadness
Escaping the Pain
No longer bond under heavy
Locks and Chains
No more wounds to be healed
No wounds to seal
No bandages with

-Stains-

it’s been a while so take it easy on me
while I introduce myself to 2022.

A girl turned woman
Who always ought to be
Immersed in strength
In a box full of dreams
Striving to be someone
Who would make
everyone believe
That yes, you are free
To fulfill your dreams
To show yourself
And to the world
That yes,
You are one of a kind!

Don't ever give up
Always get back up!
As those tiny girls
With shining eyes
Will see you
as their strength
Believing in you
and themselves
That yes,
If she could
So will I!* - debby2022

I seem to be a man,
it comes with ups and downs
and sometimes I don’t get my way,

but like an adult,
and broken-heartedly, a woman,
I’ll try to be OK