my finger tips bleed for you

pouring out confessions

blackmailed by my betraying heart

sscraping your leftovers closer,

hoping you can see through the

bright lights and encryptions

that the vicious remains of our love

still circles like a vulture

and I, so desperate to be tasted

offer to you in this mangled mess of loveliness

my soul scratched in wretched gliphs for an endless time

in a language that could only be deciphered by your cruel love.

to ******* is to know you in some intimate way
and take that private part of you with me
to mess you up from the inside out
the way you tore up my love nook
swearing you loved me all the way
with each heartless pounding grind of your
badgering ram rod you stupid Tom ****
you gave yourself away
and now we play the fuckery game.

The new day rises
Shadows yet to cast their doubts
The coolness comforts an old soul,
This odd state of being
will never catch up with my mind
I've worn it to pieces...

I turn to the gifts of this world
The trees, the birds call,
The misty falling rain to cool my senses
The steady breaths of a sleeping child
The reviving sound of quiet...

A warm rich brew , bitter-sweetened
Hugged between rugged grateful palms
delicate steam flames rise
Delineating the Rhythms of life
Lips sip the warm relief...
Failures slip away,
Transformed into stepping stones
Towards a different future...

A band of hope pulls over pearls
the shape of a lazing crescent...

Adventure awaits...

A new day has begun.

Don't let anyone shake the dream stars from your eyes.
For every one that falls a dream dies.
Let the stars shine on,
keep that twinkle in your eyes and
Each day remember to reach for the skies!

A ring of futility

The patience game is not for the faint heart

Watching them tear your confidence apart,

Pulling the flesh from your backbone

Creaks give way to breaking

Shattering of nerves

Plucking away the feathers of hope

Bare naked and goosepimpled

The carvery lays waiting

An unceremonious carving

Beligerant twisted barbs of lies

They think they have power

They think the can destroy me

I almost thought they could too,

But as they say reputation is king

And mine speaks flesh to my bones

I pick the scales off one by one

Their pious deception no match

for my holy inception

A twisted fork tongue lays deep in its own rotted flesh

How the snakehole swallows it's own creator

Writhing in contorted panic as it's own truth flashes in its eyes

I may well be torn down every shred of pride

Only to rise a new and free from their serpentry

While they taste the bitter poison in their own sad tales

They never had real faith

And mine was never afraid of being tested

They forgot the sage old saying

Death trampling on death

Arise Tabitha and sin is no more

And nor is the serpent whom devours its self.

her soft petals unfurled and curled open
the nectar drops released themselves clinging to her edges
till the last pull of gravity won its persistent gentle cajoling
the warm scent filled the air surrounding her
exotically hypnotic drawn like a moth
it was at this moment his lips brushed her tendrils
and drawn in, he drank deeply till drunk with ****** love.

.
I aint that kinda rhyme girl you thought
I can follow structures and  that but I just feel caught
stuck on a hook like a butchered chook,
never worth a care or even a look,
so I like to break free from the things that constrain me
free flow and verse should never be terse
let the turgid waters of my mind flow where it will
and I promise I'll write things funny still
like rants and raves and in your faces
and soulful stuff like soulmates and graces
now I pick my keys carefully too so don't think I don't because I do.
but the thing is knowing when to rhyme like its cool
I don't do that cause I aint no fool
when its good its good whether its gotten or misunderstood
you'll feel it those vibrations, feel it, feel it those good vibrations, that's a bit funky I know I might have missed the mark but don't get your knickers in a bunch! but that's how I roll that's my whole goal the rhyming trick gets old but Im happy to resurrect it on demand to cheer up a poor soul!
hugSS and LOL! ;D

ache and agony seem friendly now.
I have grown accustomed to them
they are my never ending and constant friend
always speaking up and filling my head with hopes and regrets.
that driver must have been on crack or something because
he didn't understand a thing!
we were so close to that first kiss,
I could see you smile down the street by the park
a dream that died when he took my body
and rolled it in the hot black tar.
that was when I had lips to kiss you.  
joy to see you.
now it is horror.
I live in fear away from all that does not understand
or recoils at my unwarranted monstrosities
I was a beauty once, as beautiful as every lover dreams.
now its hidden on the inside
and that kiss, is just another layer to the pain
that has become my one constant friend.
I don't blame you for running.
I wish the old man hadn't run across the street.
I wish he hadn't called anyone.
I would have died happy on my way to our first kiss.
Oh, those perfect lips...
now I pray for the kiss of death,
so I can finally kiss goodbye my one constant friend.

Sleep serves nothing but to haunt the mind
The black of your soul seeps out
And smothers all the light
Every fear swirls darkly
Every hope drowns in thickly tar
Breathing morbidity
As I lie here
Tiredness chokes me
As I succumb
I bite down ******* reality
Desperately afraid
The darkness of my soul
Won't let me go.

Most poets don't understand
most poets think they got it all in hand
most poets think they have a God given gift
me I'm no fancy poet I write my **** down
Most poets go past without a word, a heart a sound;
Me, I do cause that's what you do when its awesome!
Most poets just wish they thought of it on their own.
most poets just envy you.
poetic envy...
Yeah, I suffer from it too! ;)

The missing takes hold gripping like a noose

The words choked out of existence

A blink of thought

Like trying to catch words of thunder flashing through rolling clouds

Waiting for the deluge of word soaked verse only to watch it Roll by overhead

without a drop off  to nourish some other poets pen.

Life churns the seas of revelations

but the waves won't let me catch a breath for a beat.

Dry pen, parched paper and a world to soak in inches from the shore

A shipwreck smothered by the sand

I count the stars instead

An estimate in a glance

As I Think of the endless possibilities

And how insignificant I am

That the words that i have captured

Remain the legacy of what there is

When of words there is nothing to gain

But the release of joy and pain

Into the universe

and if not written will not remain.



Then I am but a blink of ink that mearly left a smudge

Barely enough to stain.

The wind creeps up on me carrying the whisper of your voice
With welcome Warmth Your soul envelops me,
comforting.
You haven't forgotten me in this long breaking of our presence
I miss you too.
You know I won't come,
I'm too stubborn
I know what it means
Though I think of you endlessly
I wish on every star I see it could be different
But time is the ultimate master of its journey
It won't go backwards,
No matter how desperately pleaded
Time has no conscience
And serendipity is a joker
Poking fun while living through disaster
Seducing with flashes of false hope
Oh but love is a greater power
It out lasts and out shines all these trials of destiny
This life is half led
Shhh, I whisper,
Not this life,
The next
I will come for you
With a fanfare of all the colours of love
I feel you gently let go
But know you'll come again
Just as you know
I'll be waiting

it was a quick gentle motion caught more by intuition than by the concrete senses
a hand waving over and had I blinked, I would have kept the same old lenses

I wasnt led like a dog by the lead or coerced with convoluted imagery
instead I was asked upon the silent wind if i wanted more than debargery

a life less ordinary but unbelievably different to the numbed down dumb down perceptions
I took the opening in the lightning crack offrerd me. I never hesitated, I was not afraid of deception

i felt. I felt the urge of undeniable truth calling
and as I tugged at the veil I stood to watch my manufactured perceptions falling

at my heels the dogs of war became powerless
I saw the heat of blood in the heart of my enemy and I loved them no less

i stood there watching the flashing blade come down at my shoulders again and again
and did not flicker, nor wince nor change and was not in all attempts slain

i stood there in peace as the vile anger of my assailaint grew and the flashes of rage became faster
the purest form of evil manifested in eyes burning rage vehement too powerful to master

and I looked upon them with the curiosity of a child unaware of the forces of hate being expelled
and in the peak of resolution one final grunting blow readied above our heads suddenly eyes welled

the flash of irrelevance dashed through both eyes weakness and pain exhausted,spent.
frustration had given way and so too pain released, exorcised it went

a desperate plea escaped thier eyes seeking mercy and had instantly found it.
i was stricken powerless by love and held over like breathing to have given it

then the sons and daughters of pain and denial sprung forth from thier eyes
sobs of relief and gratitude barreled into tortured cries truth had crushed lies

from knees they flung themselves at my feet kissing my footprints afraid of much
and I knelt down and hugged them with humanities touch

they clung and held fast to their forgivenesess
and asked for my own.

We floated in light and love waiting for the first smile of knowing.

Like butterflies
Leaving a trail
of coloured crystals,
only in my dreams
can I see you
for all you could be;
Like feathers
floating down
gently glittering
in the warm sun,
like a soft doona
Chrisp and fresh
lightly crunching as
I fall into its hug,
like all the things
I never have time
to feel, or do, thankful
in my imagination
I can still see you,
in my soul
I can still feel
the traces of
soft flutters, hugs, glitter
and coloured crystals
that tear my heart
like grains of sand
in a dust storm
in this wasteland
after your passing.

The days blur from one shade of gray to another
haphhazard heart only beats when the possibility of entering your atmosphere nears,
and even then, reality is quick to set in.
abandoned left to my own devices in matters concerning love
how easy it would be,
if it could leave you and nestle back into my heart again
ready to flutter off and settle on some other worthy occupation
bursting with colours like your eyes rivers of warmth like your smile
you walk through me as if I didn't exist
you build walls as you walk creating a maze around you
and yet, memories must linger, sparking  as you catch them in my eyes and smile into my soul, another torturous moment,
Perhaps, on purpose to check in with your prisoner.
Cleary, I have nothing but trophy status gathering dust.
An urn with the ashes of our love smoldering with no air
I wait for the last ember to burn off white
but that's the miracle of love,
it exists on nothing at all
and still stupidly, I design our reunion with not even a hope at all
and nothing to gain,  except living once again, lost in your eyes,
for a lighter shade of gray.
Author's Notes/Comments:

bend that bow till breaking
fire those arrows at will
I am an illusion
a draft of sorrows and heartache
too ephemeral
too misty to stay long in any sights
for the sake of argument.
gentiles and wit
karma and justice
its seems the only thing broken is your luck,
and the answer it seems is lost in the wind
while you're too busy thinking
by my mind you are already an ancient thought.
cast your strokes,
carve your name upon my will
a hard target for an uneasy ****
I've died before and lived again
My special healing power is
I never give a **** more than is necessary
and yes indeed this above all
makes me a most worthy adversary.

For you the words did not come
they will never do you justice
the beauty my eyes see
have only wordless translations
<3

dumb people can't speak
deaf people can't hear
blind people cant see
stupid people can't think
ignorant people can't understand
even when they think they can.

Kiss the truth away one  more time
Torn footnotes in the wind
Your swift hand  cutting goodbye through the air
The world is dark again
I trip over your your love so readily
Eyes cast over the night hoping for light
No stars dare shine
No flowers bloom in colour
The moon drags the day over
The same sarcastic drawl
Silver sliver smile irks me
I never learn,
Draw the bullet again
It's love.
What the hell did you expect?

Sunny, cool windy days
The kind of irony i can easily  live with
Rushing wind tiring to a meander,
before catching its breath off again
to find a new adventure!
My heart follows it,
My earthly body content to stand caressed by invisible fingertips.
The grass dances at my feet, covered by a brilliant blue sky
The dandilyons arch their stalks like  puppies for belly rubs.
The daisies nod readily to the gossipy whispers
Without thinking,
Eyes draw closed chin to the sun
I drink in deeply the  essence  of the stirring energy
Filums of air rushing through flared nostrils
reaching down prodding tired lungs open,
"not today" they whisper,
poking open apathetic  ventricles and lazy sacs
The welcome of life envelops me
A beat,
And I felt, since the longest time, alive.




Its was a moment-
Where I could  forget about you.

I'm not sure id find it in your heart
or your eyes.

your soul is something
I could never read

and though my own
lay woven in and out of lies

i expected more from you.
It was a crazy lie invented to occupy my loneliness

and  I almost had myself believing it
but there was one step I was too proud to take

I count myself so lucky
I didn't fumble when you needed me most

the cold in your eyes is what I deserve
but there is no coldness there.

I fumble because I know
it's not what I should still have to run to

And I can't look in there as long as I used too
its so **** hard

because its in my eyes and in my heart
I know you've seen it.

I almost destroyed it
like so many other parts of myself

so  this one thing I hold perfect
in honour of you,

singularly
my ***

though my heart
tore it's self in two.

come a little closer,

that chasm between us is millitmeters long,

hold those thoughts

and listen to a  new song  



come a little closer,

time to see clearer from this heart instead,

lower those eyes

and tilt that confused head



come a little closer,

a little something Ive wanted to share for a while

its time to reveal this delicate kiss

it goes a little someting like this



come a little closer,

lightness and sweetness moving into your depths

holding your heart warm like this

and in this taste of love

a promise...



there is no more chasm

only moments of clarity in

a lover's breath exquisitely complete



come a little closer,

time to see clearer from this heart instead,

lower those eyes

and tilt that confused head



I promise you'll be okay.


Folder: Heart Aesthetics

fate whispers in winds
hopes fail in fait accompli
whispers fade to blank

Movement and thoughts at the speed of light
The others can't hold on to the train
Not my fault
Built different
Explain it to
Blank stares
Bad decisions
irksome stupidity
Hold breath,
Protect the light
Shine on the inside
Breathe...
Dumb it down,
They don't understand
Mediocrity is fine for them
It's their holy grail
Don't be different
Don't push
Just hide
Stealth
And
defiance
I am who I am
And I do it my way
Because it works.
Gritted teeth
Wrapped in smiles
They don't know
A thing
About
Being
me.

Here I am again,
another storm weathered,
another dream withered,
another fight to the death.

every emotion wrung out,
every hope wrenched,
every desire negated,
another line drawn in the sand.

another forced heart beat,
another relentless cycle complete.
happy to be numb again.

till I thaw.

pull my heart strings
scratch your name in my skin,
write your contract in blood.

hold my soul hostage,
lay down your demands;
crush my spirit in your hands.

rip apart my sanity,
write your inscriptions of pain;
etching your savage ways.

destroy my hopes,
your precogziance dictates;
stomp and scrape your lies into me.

defile my innocence,
your morose curiosties reep;
****** and stab your morbid *******.

maniacal manipulations claim yet another victim,
but in your clenched hands
none ever so willing,
to die in your hold

to feel something other than ice cold.

oh another round slicing my pride through a mandelin

grating my heart to a ****** pulp

scraping my dignity under you nails

another shameful episode over nothing.

a time span. minutes.

the lioness reared

the roar hurt your ears and your manhood

emasculated with all the trimmings

I swear you like it.

you never seem to learn.

you should never have shunned your kitten in public.

this mangled kittens got claws

you warned me; and I counter warned you

an thus this pile of heart **** wont pick its self up

I guess its up to me to mend the breakages again

I dont have the time to wait

i have to paint the walls and put a new cornice up.

here take your ******* coffee.

I give up.

On show,
proudly buxom mounds released from the confines of propriety
Your hand grabs hold of the invitation with a rasp
Making my ******* stand up to please you
The groan deep in your throat reminds me of my own
sending me eagerly down to your thighs
Your passive resistance grows with your hardened stance
There's no escaping the inevitable
I have stained you as mine as you have penned your exploding
Desire on my lips and your lips deeper into my open snare
The next time she sees you,
you will have me
written all over your face.

The dawning of a new day
My day, 
My kinda tempo
My kinda heat
The truth was a loose noose hung about your necks. A careless foothold on the dire situation and my how the trip ups were a complex, spectacular mess!
One went down after the next ******* by the same lies.
A quiet kind of constricting at first,
now youre all kicking over your stools trying to clamour back on to your modest little pedistals.
 Its not as hard to watch as i thought it would be for such a God fearing woman. 
    
You have all been seen through my eyes
and are now strangers even by his own blood. 
and as he laid upon the ground to kiss my feet and lay a path to my waiting pedistal
i looked into him deeply and instead lay on the ground next to him. I gently held his hand. i whispered softly asking him to look at the stars with me
and as they twinkled i watched them reflected through his newly washed eyes and found my place again in his heart
my true home

Folder: Soul mates
I feel the fire in your hands
Burn before you even touch me

I feel the depth of your unspoken words
Before they hit me and pull another's love aside

I burn for you,
a blue flame of discontentedness

I melt with you
Into oily silky velvety fuild

It seeps in through my heart
And stains my soul vibrant colours then black.

You are a vampire of Passion
And I a victim of lust

Lost to the hypnotic call of an ancient
Vow which desolates for all ages to come,
my eternal now.

Inspiration has left me lying in the gutter
This forced write is all I have to console me
The reverberating hum running through my fingertips seems numb.
Not one insight, not one iota of a wordly crumb.
This desire to write nothing is a dark stain I'm bleaching
Poetically ironic that my own desolation has conspired
To unwrite me from my pages
Even the gutter has a view of this ****** ****.

I don't want to know their name
I don't want to know who they are
I don't care if they make you feel
they aren't me.

Not me,
who's cradling your head in my hands
or wrapped around you thigh deep
or gently coupled by the lips
slung over your bed sheets
resting over your heartbeat
tracing the lines of your love
tipping your chin,
looking deep into your soul
and you meeting me there.

It was too real to ever let go
but you did
please don't explain
I don't want to know

Twisted and bent over
By just the thought of it;
Why rapture must come
With such intolerable cruelty
The Gods only know.



They wield us like toys in
A careless game of wits
for some bemusement

If I Were to dare and venture forth
to find the golden chord

and climb up to the stairway of heaven;



I would pluck the very eyes of Athena
and Themis and swap them in kind
So they may see eachothers minds

And cast upon it a blessing
cured of this sickly and ravaged
Regretted remorse that bodes
In the hearts and souls of weak men.



The shame travels in cycles
the pain is constant
broken only by fleeting moments
Of hope and regretful longings.



I Sailed with this ship of fools
To find the golden fleece
Knew full well that
The ends of the world
Will still fail to appease.



there is no god or immortal
That I serve except this *******;
And yet, the unrighteous lover
Renews my faith in love?



**** the gods
for making a device of heart so voracious
And easily spaced for the fitting of loves and pain,
duty and honor and every other
cruel twisted trick tied by a harp string
That tugged at will could test the thresholds
That torment always breaks.



Keep your gods and
Masters of cruel fates

I will follow none
And will wait for death

till I row the strokes to bring

that of the netherworld and beyond,



Just to find and ****** in zeuses
Wretched heart

the one he gave me by his stake
And watch him melt and burn and suffer
Twisted over and bent

finally to understand his cruel mistake

You dont inspire grand poetry
Yet, you have the power to enrage me.
You don't inspire grand gestures
Yet, you can sweep me off my feet.
You are my ordinary everyday love,
A blank uninspired page lending itself
To doodling in the corners.
Grand by definition some believe;
Yet, I know different.
we are eachothers 'for granted'.
A prop, a scaffold,
a rubber mould, ignored...
till our cages are rattled
Then, in a flickered memory,
Shines the extraordinary.
And that doodle explodes to life
All over the page!
But it's not poetry.

oh I pull pieces of love thread from my soul all the time hoping just one is still attched to you

the missing is the worst part

the gaping hole of emotions where the swollen heart overflow pours

does it go where you are?

can you feel me loving you?

can you sense the way i need you near?

awash with fear and dread.

Im afraid to pull another thread,

and still i pull it, hoping each deathly milimeter draws me closer to you

are you still here?

or have you made the unkindest cut of all my cruel dear?

will you answer?

just a little tug

so I'll know

and not worry anymore

a virbrato hug carried upon this thread of ours

anything to stop this ache of mine

I miss you,

I miss you baby,

please dont play games with my head,

where are you dearest?

Im desperately yours

and terrified alone

help me love I beg,

i keep pulling out loose threads!