Nerves suspended on pins.
****** sizzling and crackling up my spine
Along my neck and dancing across shoulders,
Soft peaks strain against cruel frabric hardening to attention;
Warm sweet bulbs of delight flood with aching
sweet trickles of warmth seep out laying a bed of welcome
Thighs echo inviting sentiments laxing open
Hips slide up sensously,
The request resoundingly clear.
Passion's fever lit,
Fed and readied by the slow burn,

And you havent even touched me yet.

I read the note she left you.

You're as cold as ice on a mountin top
un reachable
my fires lay burning and you cast yourself with curious castrations
Her lips moist and seeping the language of love
and your frigid air does nothing to cool her molten desire
you're a cruel and desolate love scape
fierce fire and savage ice
make for still waters
this puddle
is all I see
reflecting the deep chasm between us,
you refuse to fill.

she signed it-

Yours sincerely,
well past Randy.

The sound of nothing
is impossible to hear.
Silence is another matter,
it can be heard on occasion.
Silence can be deafening;
but the sound of nothing,
that is something else.
you can never imagine it;
bearable was your silence
but, your nothing it is
far too much to bear.
I block my ears from the sound.
I scream to make not so.
but everytime I stop;
there it is again, nothing.
Please bring me back
your silence,
that at least
I can
comprehend.

For me on your way,

Tell them I miss them

in every single way

Their glittering like gems

It aches more than words can say

The divets and patches across the stars

Are mirrored in my heart

As I dig my feet into the grass

Empty spaces pierced with Twinkles

Like lightning bugs in jars

Memories fade to dark

Ill sustained by lengthy time apart

May they not forget me

Collectively my spark

I'll pass on my memories

I'll strike a light so bright

it leaves a mark

not visible by so far

But caught up in solar whispers

May it carry from star to star

And tell you of news and how we are

Making a way back

To kiss you close

message from afar

A kiss on the solar wind

Travelling from quasar to quasar

With passion,

Your long lost love.

holding on to my paper love
folded and unfolded
again and again.
the words you sent me
mean nothing now,
but oh so splendid
when they did.
the worn folds
and turned edges
fluffed and whiskered.
simple words on a note
held for many years,
and what you wrote
lay in my hands
a thousand silent
times, and perhaps
a thousand many more.

Time spins circles of recurrences
I'm never sure if it's the past or present
The effect you have on me,
Cares nothing for time
It is immune
No defences to wear away
There were never any built
You seep into my consciousness
And surround me with your frequencies
The reverberation of your soul enlivens me
Your energy spellbinds me
Memory and fantasy merge
You words quaver through my senses
Your love keeps me warm
Wish you were never here

words through natures verse

keeps a hold in our hearts mind

perfect even when not.

She moves with such fluidity in your atmosphere draping herself like sheer satin, elegantly etherial...
I feel like cotton underpants
My mouth heavy with words that refuse to reach for air and tie my tongue down and crowd around my throat
My foot steps are heavier, earthier,  than her tip toe grace
Elegant hands drape so adorningly over your shoulders
Her eyes dance with depth
her lips sing with spirited conversation
Mine a steady and constant gaze deep and unyielding
with lips given to sullenness,
And still you gravitate towards me as if she didn't exist

The moon wanted to hug me
The stars tried to console me
I was cold, sitting on the edge of a windy cliff bleeding love
And he just stood there till i felt he was gone.

Your ethereal essence wraps around my senses as I'm drawn to your atmosphere

buring like a Phoenix washed in a new hope
a flash across the bowels of space and time

the call reaches deep into my soul as it rises from the pits of despair and disconnect
oh how I've missed you, aching chasm of yearning hovering over our used to be

your eyes lit like a new day dawning
you have once again remembered me
Love has resurrected

And i slow suspended in your orbit
afraid to venture  any closer
the last millimeter
always spans an infinite chasm
a fiery fanned Dragon floating in limbo
poised,
i wait desperately for your signal
Hovering precariously over your frequency

Love battles on
The wagers of love wreak havock
Senseless emotions bend us to break
Only to Catch eachother before the fall
Hope fades as fast as it lights the way
Fumbling through love scapes as if some great adventure will call forth in climbing to the pinnacle of the mountain of love only to jump off like lemmings holding heartshaped balloons as if its enough...

What do you feel when theres no empathy that could possibly resonate?
What do say when no words can offer comfort?
What can you do when words freeze at the edges of your lips and dont dare come out because it doesnt begin to cover gape left open?
They might as well plunge to the depths of the abyss.

What can you do?

You hug.

the flower opens
the bloom welcomes the shadow
the flower is crushed.

Stubborness was a trait defined acutely at your birth. Some rogue star endowing you with a will beyond my own. Till now. Each stagnant pause, each inaction is infact an action forging reactions upon me. Sealing a resolve upon my heart to forsake you. All that remains is the molten wax with the words inscrpited access denied. your new monker imbeded upon my skin. And it seeps darkly red in every corner displacing even the last hope. My heart star has faded.
And i dont care. Are you satisfied now?

the blurts cut me more than ever.

ice and cold metal to my warm ferver

blurts of poisoned pain

they spatter me like paint on the floor

the colours change

but the pain moves the same.

flattend and spattered

pain on top of pain

blurt and blurt and blurt again.

hold that evil *******

swallow it down

I cant spread myself

any more than I am.

Struggling to  stay above the meniscus
Stagnant waters breed contempt
No push, no pull, just demands
Oily film clings in colourful swirls mocking as it suffocates
Each breath cut a micron smallker
A slow agonising drawl off a rabid dogs tooth
Stuck in an endless moment
Confined to a predestined conclusion
All forgone
I've given up on the illusion
Come what may
Its not the wait that kills,
I died a while ago
This is something else entirely  
Futile frustration
Living ends soon enough
After life, however,
is another matter.

the sound of nothing
is impossible to hear.
Silence can be heard.

The wick was primed, lit and trimmed regular like
the steadfast held on to the faint light of hope
if not for thier all
but all others
they shielded it from the wind
and the rain
and fed it with love and devotion
so it burned steady,
bright but not glaring
and they had to look hard
but all who searched
found it
Then lit their own wicks
primed and trimmed regular like
and just like that
it grew
and love happened
And they became free
because they could finally
see.

Shots fired.
Expression of emotion is vital, cathartic.
My words despairingly ugly. Sensorship even  uglier.
I will not  find peace or sanity until i ***** my offense.
Do not negate my reality
with your unempathic offence
A survivor on defense.
The best defence is attack.
I apologise to no one
for the constant exorcism and reinfection of my demons.
You dont have to live with them.
If you take my words
and stuff them back down my throat
with your own pretty pious version of hate
dont think you won't then be a target of offence.
Don't speak for me
Dont correct me
Do not vett me
Do not circumvent or block me
my spite will pour from its source
Deep pain and loss
Regardless of my senses
Of my deliberate take on inhumanity
If you want to be humane step aside
And don't let the filth catch you on its way out!
I will shout down my demons with fire and light
Stand back!
It is done,
When tis done.

Something stirring

A cautious hover
Over a breaking smile

gratitude spills
tumbling over the reverently held ether

life lives here,

moistened with
Blood, sweat, Tears and rain

Every fall a rise
Like the breath of providence

A dip left
A twist right

the rhythm of life inspires dance,
Poetry, art, music and song  

Like air slipping over chords

Sacred Verbiage

Vibration

Your hands are never empty

There is no void,

There is only the appearance of nothing

Which by the mere thought is even something

So grab on tight!

Even when it seems there is no thing

it really is something, isn't it?

Oh what we see, be and do when nothing is impossible!

Folder:  Soulmates II

Sweet, sweet fantasy embrace me with his shadow'
cover me with his moonlight passion
let me hear his whispers of love on the warm night wind
Let the light of his eyes twinkle deep in my heart
bring his soul kisses through space and time
bring us together in our immaculate love
let us each other once more find
and dissolve into a phantasm
as we leave our glittering traces of love
trailing across the heavens behind,

The day has faded away
and the last light
kisses the horizon goodnight
The moon beams come out to play
and chases the last ray out of sight
The moon climbs over
and catches up
with her little halos asking of
Her lover the sun,
who makes her glow
in his presence.
Pulling the carpet of tides
in her chase to claw herself near
she would rather
disappear in daylight
than be away forever I fear
Sometimes they dance the tango
as they pass in the clear
and sometimes they dance alone
seductively drawing eachother near
Destined only to feel the effects
of the glow each light beam brings
As gravity pulled together;
this union a catastrophe would bring.
With unlucked quarters
in crescents
Other masters call to them service
But every now and then
hiding in the shadows
of the earths surface
A stolen moment
of love is exchanged
eclipsed only by us it seems
Thus you are my warm sunlight
and I your cool moonbeams
Destined to hide in the shadows
of rings as Saturn steps in
Running rings around us as
we dance
like the moon chasing the sun.

don't think you could ever know me like the stars

don't think you know my number or typography of love

there is a world beyond compare you cannot put asunder me

all the love in the universe lives there

yours too.



so you see,

let it live in my soul

let it seep out of my aching *****

give it free will

and do not restrain it

for when you partake of it

you have touched souls with me

and thus forever

I will remember you.

reeking of originality, heart, soul in poignant beauty or righteous pain,
intellectually multi-dimensional in lieu of the social disparity and ego-maina. quality is a thing of judgement, and the best way to bruise a budding ego. best to leave all that **** at the mind's door and concentrate on expression.

I kiss your toes one by one
and wipe your feet like the face of a new born babe,
in the hope that they may trample me lighter.

He drew designs of passion on my naked flesh with his fingertips

the rythym slow and winding delicately, pensively around the tightly wound delicate-est parts of me.

It was as if he were tracing every line, every beauty every imperfection that was my essence in physicality, and on occasion he looked deep into my eyes for further permissions to which I could not answer held hostage by his touch and my indelicate wanting.



The bottom of my lip curled up in a tooth nip constrained the torrernt of love words that threatened to pour from my mouth, breath doing its best to find regulation and all I wanted was to be lost in His adoring admiration floating anywhere in his abyss contented just to stare at his unorthodox beauty, fashioned by his strength and decisiveness and above all the way his soul knew mine.



It was a separation unbearable made more so, by the powerful burning longing ignited by his feathery touch. caught somewhere between sweet Nirvana and torturous Hades;  not sure which toe was dipped in which?  These were fleeting thoughts that brought me through my confusion and closer to the clarity of madness. Eyes now intent on discovering him, devouing him with each twist and turn of his strong limbs. my fingertips begining to free themselves from thier trance, reach hesitantly when finally touched its destination a gasping pleasure realsed its self from his throat as i slowly realise my touch equally burning my own design trails of longing fire. He threatened to lose control of, breathing love and fire passion as the lines of desire's designs brought fourth an achictectural beauty that ochestrated prisimic baptismal fire that no other could have pervaded;  and the words written in the burning flesh had no name just symbols, traced over and over again still not enough to capture meaning. It was all we had but it was enough to sign our love endless to the ages of ages.



some say there is a word that comes so close though many more words are missing, forgotten but still felt penultimate erotismiagapea the unity of all things designed to be craved by love.

Wondering through the ether of my heart lines,
messy, smoldering smoke ribbons
leading me to everywhere and tethered nowhere.
Love is a woven mess;
a nest of all the discarded twigs and leaves
still, the hollow is so warm and soft.
If only this, if only that,
nothing will stop the ache when it all comes back.
Flashing like gold glints streaking through consciousness
I was hoping I would forget about you
but I keep picking up the twigs.

speaking with you over the frequencies,

I often wonder what a touch could do.

would it connect me to some omnipitent source

or create an annoying buzzing tingle feeling?

I guess I dont need to find out,

but when you walk right through my soul as if its nothing

leaves me with nothing to do but,

wonder about it all.

Add another sleepless night to the endless tally,
I will burn the midnight hours still hungering your touch
never finished what we started probably never will.

desires locked in the throes of passionate thoughts,
we can not speak of it at all.

silence...

Oh hell,

Clenching sheets and tossing aches
Ive torn and twisted up every corner of this bed
made every scenerio of it ending in my head
nothing holds up to the great expectation
a pregnant endless pause...

will this night ever end?

I cruised the city streets today
every look, every gesture interrogated
for signs of you.
every corner wrote a perscription
for a new hope,
only to dissipate in realisation
by the absence of you.
A lead, a clue,
your old jacket,
a pair of shoes,
none lead to your
missing face
I cruised the cityscape
double checked the shadows
to find nothing of you.
No sign.
And I wanted so badly,
to come back to life.

Like flesh missing from my bones, your absence screams at me
dry days fold into empty nights that even sleep refuses to visit
the warm of your breath starkly unavailable
life it seems left with you
the heart wants what the heart wants
it cut its self out
what use has it of these dry bones
and this longing disposition
seeking only your return
one dropless beat at a time
I wait for the get down
when your eyes breath life back into mine
and brings the flesh back to these bones

God needs no defending
God is love
God is good
What is good is evident
It feels good

God needs no defending
God loves in spite of evil
God chooses us even if we don't choose God
To light The Christ in all of us

To destroy in God's name is defiling
God can love even through this misguided attempt
God needs no defending
All is done through love
For every emotion stems from it
or the lack of it

We are not separate from God
We are collectively God
We can only turn away from ourselves
Placing our faith and trust in man
and the here and now
and you zombies don't know what it means
and you keep on keeping on
believing a fake reality
As if nothing else exists
while discounting the truth in your soul
In the aether, in your heart,
God needs no defending
To do so is to believe that we are greater than the collective
That God is weak
God is enlightened consciousness
Only the blind Christ maims in its own honor
God needs no defending
God only requires choice
The choice to love inspite of evil
To choose us even if we don't choose God
To reveal the Christdom in all of us
God requires no defending
Only choice.

life shines through the leaf
leaves fall to the ground softly
under leaves death shades

Ink stained tears lace my pages

splatters of lost joys hit the paper

like the slamming door in my face

and my heart thrown to the pavement.



Life has grown dark

Even hope is hiding

not even pinholes of light

have the decency to show.



ink stained tears fill my pages

as pain moves in to marry sorrow

such bedfellows are meant for eachother,

not like Me and you.

There it is,
your infectious laugh!
catching me off guard and pulling me into light
smiling glints of warm in your eyes
every slight, every insult lashed upon my grace
forgotten,  melted away,
lost in that throaty yet light warm chuckle,
oozing charm and charisma every time
I am lost in your joy,
hug me close and make me feel alive and real
kiss my love with your soul
wrap me in your happiness
its the only kind I live for...

it's a new day and I seemed to have crushed those damning thoughts

the sun holds its new perspective over me and I see it through brightened eyes

it is what it is.

no one said to love would be with out heavy costs and sacrifice

the birds still sing everyday despite their troubles

theres somehting to glean from every shadow and dark space.

I am in love with too many gorgeous creatures in too many ways

and I cant save them all.

though it kills even to lose  just one.

unacceptable. intollerable. pittance and suffernation!

alas, to love and lose is a thing so crucial.

it defines love.

it defines you.

and all the tollerances afforded, brings no relief to hearbreak

and these are things I struggle with because they are such beauteous presents wrapped in tragic illustrations

I love the the struggle. it keeps me warm, it keeps me alive, it meters my heart

it changes the beat, it forsakes the dolldrums and the zombie-like dutiful love

it shakes the tree  and as the tree strengthens only the more powerful storms have a baring

untill the end and the tree falls over or breaks in half only to discover a new way of being.


the sun rose today. the wash of bright warmth falls over every delusion, its clear.

The kettle boils gently, its time for coffee;

just me and the sun

this is a bright new day, fresh with no mistakes in it.

yet!

Tell the Sun to leave the sky. It is just impossible... If I had you, could I ever want for more? It's just impossible."