I vowed not to love you
But then you looked my way,

The minute your gaze held me
I knew there was no option but to stay.

I miss you.

And I don't mean I miss you the way that a chubby kid at fat camp misses cake,
I miss you the way the plants miss the sun because they can't breathe without it,
I miss you the way an astronomer misses the stars throughout the day because knowing they're there simply isn't as amazing as seeing them at night,
I miss you so much because you are my breath of fresh air in a world where people are just smog,

I miss you.

You melted my heart
And I didn't even know it was frozen.

How is it so that my smile can be the answer someone has been looking for,
And the torture someone else has been running from?

When is it that mere infatuation becomes overwhelming damnation,
How can open eyes become so clouded?

Why is that after awhile the pain becomes something beautiful, a daily struggle we gladly bare,
When is it that we choose to sacrifice our happiness for another out of care?

You cannot blame someone for letting you fall when they warned you they wouldn't catch you,
These traps of love are ones we weave but in the end I'd be nothing without you.

What happens when your ink across my skin runs dry,
Does it stain or does it fade?
I hope I am etched into your memory the way you are carved into my skin,
Pull me closer darling you are my darkest sin,
In your silence you have said more than your tongue ever could,
You've marked my life by making memories in every place we have stood,
So I ask myself how is it that you free yourself from chains that are dragging you under,
Open your eyes and realize that you have within you the power of thunder,
Dear sweet darling, my greatest deceiver I hope you learn to make haste,
Otherwise your sins shall catch up and I hope you like how misery tastes.

My mind fumbles for words to express how I feel,
Every memory of us replaying on repeat on a reel,
From the moment you saw me to when our lips meet under stars,
Until you closed yourself from me and locked your heart behind bars,
I've never known how it felt to have a gaze once so warm,
Turn into a stranger who's words would harm,
I'm not sure what triggered the dark change,
But you became the kind of poetry in my heart will rage.

You were so sweet, you were rotten.

Funny how you felt the need to cut me to make sure I could bleed,
God how wish I could've seen that you were not what I need,
But your eyes were a poison that seeped beneath my skin,
Killing me slowly not from outwards but within.

And oh the way you made my heart beat fast only quickened the speed of the venom,
It was over before it began and you wiped your hands of me the way mechanics get rid of their oil on denim,
You are proof that this world can change in an instant,
One moment so familiar and now we are just distant.

At first I thought that maybe it was me,
But then I realized that it's in a coward's nature to flee.

Bit by bit I am sold,
To every lie your body has told,
I have romanticized what I adored,
And it has left me broken on the floor.

I'll miss you, but you'll never know that
Because you were so cold it iced my lips shut

From your lips fell a sugar so sweet,
It left me spoiled and rotten and unable to keep,
From your eyes a gaze so warm just like the sunrise,
You were the very art of my demise

So tired of losing, so tired of bruising more quickly than a fallen Apple,
So tired of grasping onto your words the way saddened people do in a chapel,
How is it that you cut something off that is causing you pain inside,
When I can't speak and instead am doomed to emotions that I must hide,
I'm lost not found amongst your embrace, it is a deep abyss by which I am chained,
There is no bottom and I'm falling faster, there is no hope to be gained,
You were broken and then mended just like a mosaic, a compilation of every emotion,
But your edges are rough and have yet to be smoothed like the pieces of glass that become reborn in the ocean,
You've punctured my heart and now here I lay on the floor solely gasping for breath,
You didn't just take my breath away, you took everything that I had left.

Before you I was a blank page and now you've left a crease,
You've reassembled the 26 letters of my life in a way that gives me peace,
You make me want to furiously throw ink across my once boring pages,
To resemble the adventures in which you have released my heart from its cages,
You're made up of similes and metaphors that I want to spend all of my time solving,
I grow closer and closer because my feelings are evolving,
I fell for your covers and even further for what I found inside,
I'm lost within you and trust you as my guide,
Teach me your ways with your verbs & your nouns,
You're like the book I never want to put down.

You're like the gap of silence between heart beats.
You leave me in anticipation,
consumed by utter contemplation,
Will I beat again?

You're like the rose surrounded by thorns.
There's no way to reach without getting pricked,
This is your way to avoid getting picked,
Is it worth it to bleed for your love?

You're like tide on any given day.
You're beautiful and yet unpredictable and coy,
Wielding the power to give or destroy,
Will I drown or will you save me?

You're just a person, someone with a name,
But in your world it is a zero sum game,
For you to be happy, others must suffer,
The choices are to either shatter or grow tougher.

Break my heart again
this time I dare you,
Shatter my mind and soul
This time I'll be over you.

I don't want to be able to look at my life and remember it without you,
I want to be entrenched and drowning in your sea that is blue,
I want to breathe and relive your touch,
Every gasp, every tremble, your eyes that captivated me so much,
I don't want something simple and I don't want to be coy,
I simply want the kind of love that leaves you destroyed.

I don't know what's real and I can't tell if it's you,
Is this my reality or have I dilluded myself too far to see what's true.

My heart aches quietly for a rest that will never come,
Except for the moments when it is to you that I run.

You have the power to put me at the very best highs and lowest of lows,
I'm begging you if you love me, if you love me let me go.

How can I break free when loving you is weighing me down,
I'm so caught up in trying to fly and don't realize I'm still on the ground.

I'm typical and predictable and I never learn,
Too afraid to hit the ground so I never go for what I truly yearn.

I'm drowning in the pool of the very tears I have cried,
Not realizing that all I need to do is simply stand to survive.

Was it love or was it hate? either way it doesn't truly matter,
You took a gun and pointed it at my heart and our memories have stained me like blood spatter.

For now as you kiss me,
I know that you'll miss me.
Even if you say you can go everyday,
Without my prescence and love as you lay,
My lips will always ache for your touch,
But that doesn't compare to how deeply my mind and soul miss you so much.

Oh darling,
Silence is not an answer,
But it is more powerful than a scream.

It is both sad and funny how your heart can break in two,
when you're surrounded by people who claim to care about you.

It was when you said you didn't feel the same,
That I could finally start breathing again.

Show me how the earth shakes when something is meant to be,
Make me fall so deeply in love that I willingly never want to be free.

What once broke me is what now builds me up,
You're my insanity and clarity in one lovely cup,
This is what it feels like to be entirely out of control,
So deeply in love, touching soul to soul.