I don't plan,
I don't choose the number of syllables,
I just write.

My rhymes are rare,
I don't plan them,
If they come,
They're there,
Cuz I just write.

If something comes to mind,
I just write.

It's all from my mind,
With inspiration from my heart,
So I write.

I don't get writer's block,
I get an empty heart,
In those times,
I don't write.

I'm not a poet,
I'm just that girl,
Who writes,
Cuz it's hard for her to speak,
And it's easier to,
*Just write.

They say that once you hit the lowest point in your life you can only go up from there. I swear I've hit so many low points I just keep going lower and lower.

Who decided that "they" knew what "they" were talking about ? Who decides we should just listen to them?

I keep sitting here on this lonely beach imaging a better place... A better time.... But all I hear is the waves crashing against the sand. All I hear is the ocean threatening me with something unknown.

My love for nature grows dim & my fears begin to take over my body. Panic attacks and sleeping so much and so long my body can't react to being awake properly.

I used to be confident and strong.
I used to be in love with love and life.
Now I fear the unknown.
I fear being alone with my thoughts ringing so loudly in my head.

The ocean... There is an ocean inside my head. Filling my ears with water and letting my thoughts and memories drown me alive.

So when do things start looking up? Is it after I've already drowned all my happiness under the sorrow and contempt?

everyday she asks
Are you alright?
Do you have a headache?
You're very pale, are you hungry?
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Do you feel okay?
What's wrong?
and everyday he says
I'm fine!
and gets frustrated with her asking.
Everyday she opens her eyes
her first sight is him
breathing next to her
Everyday she proceeds with
housework, bills to pay
jobs to find, demons to slay
Everyday day she will ask
Are you okay?
While every night
she lies quietly
while thoughts riot
with tears on her lashes
and screams in her soul
waiting for his voice
to question the toll
Every night she lies silently
waiting for the axe to fall
Every night she hears
*nothing at all

he was holding me so tight
to the point where I felt his heat
was suffocating my breathing
that I thought he'd crushed me
but
the way the sunshine danced
on his skin this morning
lets me know how lucky I am
to be alive inside his arms

she was waiting
with spaced out gazed in her eyes
waiting for him to come by
she was waiting
he made her wait for so long
he was wasting her time
he was wasting her
yet, she was waiting
with hands on her chest
praying her love for him gone
while holding in the pain
she was waiting
but he never came
he doesn't love her
he doesn't care
so with all her might
she left

I'm repulsive, aren't i?
My sullen stature
My barren body
I find myself to be so
They all hate me
All of the people
Even She hates me now
I can feel it in her words
Hear it in her voice
See it in her signs
I do everything i can
But what can i do
Really, i'm just me
I'm nice and loving
It seems to be too much
But i can't stop
Because i love them
And i love her
And i'll die
Before i let them go