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in the deepest and utmost corner of my heart
the pain is being hidden

and on the outside
you will witness
my sweetest smile

if only
you will catch a glimpse
behind those eyes
is the loneliness that being kept

if only
you will stop and stare for awhile
you will find out
that i am in despair

i was wondering
if the saying

"in the eyes you will see the real feelings of a person"

is true

because why can't you see?

that i am

alone

crying

and

dying

inside?*

©IGMS
the twin of love is pain
 Oct 2015 Ji Han
xuans
waves
 Oct 2015 Ji Han
xuans
the waves that carry you
swelling like a bruise
with every drawn breath
bringing you to your death
waves of turmoil, anguish
with sole will to punish.
trapped; sinking into an abyss
darkness, like a soft kiss.
watching the world cave in
as you think about what could've been
how do you let go of the things
that are ever so haunting?
cast them away upon the waves,
the very ones forming your grave.
 Aug 2015 Ji Han
xuans
i just really hate the term puppy love.
makes me sound like i'm way over my head
simply caught up with the clouds high above
and not gonna stop myself till i'm dead

rather, it's a cherry blossom romance
beautiful, brilliant and illuminating
sweet and pleasant, putting me into trances
a fire in me so strongly burning.

i hate the word crush with burning passion
makes this love feel fragile and soft-boiled
i know myself well, there's no confusion
at that point in time, my heart's fully-booked

let's call it a sakura rendezvous:
where raw, feral love comes into full bloom.
burning bright, though eventually withering:
'twas an embodiment of maturity.
for a friend...along with my thoughts. enjoy
 Jul 2015 Ji Han
xuans
fault lines
 Jul 2015 Ji Han
xuans
the story started with hairline cracks.
cracks that were so fine, thin and insignificant.
let us not sidetrack,
and go straight to how it all happened.

somehow the pressure got to us all
widening the tiny fissures in the wall
slowly the walls started crumbling
and the decorations started tumbling.

the pieces of the walls started to fall off
and each piece that almost hits me
i dodge, dust myself off and cough
it never did hit me that this really could be.

eventually i became enlightened
and my perspective was brightened
suddenly the rug fell through the floor
and i am out the door

plunged into darkness, i ask
since when had the fault lines widened to swallow me up?
into an endless abyss of darkness
unlike that of dusk
 Jun 2015 Ji Han
Day Wing
Walls
 Jun 2015 Ji Han
Day Wing
She built her walls high and mighty
For many have entered who only brought upon agony
Most were the lovers who promised her happiness
But eventually left her heart to pieces

Now, I knock upon her door
To her I promise no tears falling on the floor
But days with smiles and deafening laughter
And that I would be her happily ever after

Through her walls, she peeks carefully
Considering me, my words and sincerity
She said, I could come in
But trusting me, she still didn’t mean

She looked at me with scornful eyes
Still doubting, believing I was telling lies
If only I could take away all those hurtful times
If only I could return the girl with unbroken smiles

It would take time before I she would believe, years maybe
But I wouldn’t mind, I’d still love her eternally
I’ll make her happy once more, this I know above all
Until the lovely day her mighty walls would finally crumble
I hope they have a happily ever after...
 Jun 2015 Ji Han
AC
Do you ever feel like you're not good enough and never will be?*

Yes, The people around me
They never fail to make me feel so worthless
It's like "I'm trying to be good, I've done all the things you want me to do. What else?"
At times, all I want is to disappear
Maybe. Just maybe,
In their eyes, they'll start to appreciate me.
 Jun 2015 Ji Han
DaSH the Hopeful
You played doctor when I needed you
         Then passed as I held on
  You left abruptly at the crack of a smile
         And always hung above, loose yet binding, in a moment of grief
            You take life away with each successive sunset
      And you've always been before we ever gave you a name.

*My greatest enemy, my only friend.
Why is the primal
question.

This was written one
week primary
to the real
encounter
:

Language difference
enables my poignant
ponderings to
hide among
pink puffy tonality
of your beloved
mother's tongue. To
dwelve smooth and
constructively
conducted within
your howlin'
domesticated
vowels. I so
become wonder
writer smitten
softly,
touched
by pleasant words
of other writers.
Not suffering.
As I do
in my
original
vaccinity
of no
distance.
Clouds and thunder
collapse into my
deepest core. Tearing
me there at non
acceptance. I tear my
poems. And throw them
into the abyss. Of no re
turnin'.
My position as a writer regarding the language difference in which my poems are created.

My poems are alive creatures, my 'virtual' little me~s, peculiar  flowerin' beings. I'm proud of them! Most of the time. Within the act of writing we (writers). . . discover magical worlds fulfiled with wonderment.

Insight, inspiration and creativity flow ceaselessly at that moments.

This poem ~"Thank you stranger" ~ is about being more accepted and appreciated by 'strangers' than in my
homeland by poets there.. It makes me sad that I  ~ "can write better" in foreign language than in my beloved mother's tongue... It's just their opinion! I know! I know!!! Yet

I deleted so many of my poems, being dissapointed by their ignorance, sometimes considering myself not to be enough..
Impulsive decisions are regretable! I have missed dearly some of my old poems. . . tearing them, deleting them for ever.

Thank you poets for all the support!
Love and blessings from me! IS:)<3

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