I sometime wonder is it worth being black
Always fearing for your life even when you're trying to the right thing

I sometimes feel like I should just pull the trigger myself
The white man going to do it anyways so why let him have all the fun

I sometimes feel like that cliff is my best friend
Seems like it's the only offering the freedom that of my dreams

I sometimes wonder why this is even up for debate
The answer to me is rather clear just need to pick the date

Close your eyes and listen freely
Smell the sweet aroma of the outdoor air
Just close your eyes and hear nature sing
Listen carefully for its true beauty
Do you hear the squirrels rustling in the trees
Birds singing their lovely melodies
Flowers blooming in the open fields
Earth dancing to the sun's tones
Pebbles dropping to meet the ground
Rivers strolling because their free
Trees tap dancing in the wind
Bees buzzing as happy as can be
Open your eyes and look where you are
This is nature and so much more
This is what we call the great outdoors

Before I was a poet who didn't know what he wanted to be
Lost in tragedy always being looked down upon by thee
I was never good enough no matter what I did
Always sitting in the darkest corner wondering why this had to be
Always crying becoming the pathetic boy they pushed upon me
But now that I think about it...
I should be laughing not crying
Thanking not dying
Smiling not pouting
I mean it's my birthday after all
I'm finally seventeen soon to be thirty
I don't care that I'm not the best at what I do
Or that i probably won't ever be
But one thing I promise to thee
All these years you were wrong about me
You don't know me
The obstacles I survived to get to where I am
The battles I fought losing parts of me
I would love to see how you survive my war
But until you fight it...
Don't do me
I don't care about your back story;
You sure as hell don't care about mine,
But you see...
To be or not to be
The thing is I am me,
And I am proud to be

They call me Dr.Strange because I don't thrive from the same ambition as the rest of my generation
I don't desire to **** every **** thing that walks and breathes
I was never a fan of getting high and skipping school
Hell the worse I've done is beat a ngga's *** for making a girl bleed
Yeah I'm so ******* hood, badass if you would  
A permant resident of wish a ***** woods
Where we specialize in the art of whoop ***
But at the same time I am kind
As gentle as a cotton ball
I will protect those who cannot protect themselves
Instead of being that coward who is left asking what if
But don't get my kindness twisted thinking you can trample all over my tiny self
Stomping me into the ******* ground as if I'm some type seed
But if you still have the urge to try me get this image in your head
I will make sure my weeded foot travels up your *** and out  of your mouth
I will not be afraid to rain down the scorching sensation of the hurt all over your flesh and bones
Causing you to sprout like a ******* bean stock as I just smile walking the opposite way
It is sad ****** these days try so hard to pretend to be all bad-***, talking so much **** I don't know whether to give them tissue or breath mint
Then what makes it even funnier they beat on these young girls thinking it makes them look tough
But in actuality it makes them look that much more of a ******* to society
**** is this really what male *** have come down to
A mere nuisance to society
A nation of fuckboys and male hoes
Is that what we are really aiming for
sigh wow I wonder what I'll have for dinner tonight

If we were to be set free
Could we really call it a victory
So many people have died fighting for this cause
So many innocent people at that
Our ancestors,the ones who so called started this war
Well not start, but the first to retaliate
They told stories of a day we'd all be equal
That one day no matter the race,religion,or the color of your skin we'd all would be united
No matter how unlikely this dream seemed at the time they continued to fight to make it reality
Using both words and actions they fought
Many of which would never see this dream in action
Because of them we have come a long way
From being whipped in the cotton field
To somewhat being acknowledged as human beings
Now my brothers and sisters all alike
It is time to end this everlasting war
For their sake and our own
It is time to rise as one
One and no more than one

I want to blame the cops for the crimes they committed against my kind
But at the same time...
I can't ignore the crimes my kind has committed against it's own kind
We go around popping caps in our brother's and sister's head
Just to get the dollar they got stuffed in their pockets
So can you really blame the cops for being afraid of us
If we do that to our own kin...
God only knows what we'll do to them if we get the chance
So truth be told if we want change
We have to change as a people
And stop blaming them for the things we caused
Black lives matter
But thing is...
We have to believe that ourselvesl

I can't breath, I can't breath!!!
But because I'm big and black they continued to terrorise me
Choking me until I seized to gasp for my final breathe
Now I'm dead
Looking down from the heavens wondering how could this be
How could this be?
So let me get this straight
I died for so called selling illegally
And you would think it was at least **** I was selling
I was selling the american dream of creating
Creating a profit..
To take care of my family
Then they shot me
And I couldn't stop it
I saw death as clear as the time
What is this

And if that's not a crime
Then what is...

I told him I had a gun
Even asked him if I could get my license from my pocket
He said sure why not
But as I proceeded to reach for my pocket he shot me anyways
Now I'm dead
Looking down from the heavens wondering what did I do
What did I do?
Why am I looking at myself stained red
I got pulled over for a taillight but ended up satisfying someone's bloodlust
There wasn't even a fuss
But look at me now
Dead six feet under

And if that's not a crime
Then what is...

Can't you see
They're picking us off one by one
Getting off scott free by saying they feared for their lives
What about our lives
Shouldn't we be the ones panicking behinds our guns
We can't even take a jog down the street without being accused of something
Don't we have rights
Last time I checked we're human too
Not animals who deserves to be stuffed in cages
And poked with sticks like they did back in the ages
So how do we evade this
Better yet...
How are we supposed to survive this
Black lives matter
How many times do we have to say this

They put guns to our heads and tell us to surrender
Return to our cages and do as they bid
And if we disobey they unalive us
Putting bullets through our heads chanting you won't survive this
As they hang us from ropes and call us suicidal
Saying we had a hard life and just couldn't do it anymore
Writing our suicide notes and pinning them on the door
As we just cry from our ghostly bodies saying we didn't deserve this
But these days no one cares to hear the truth
For they're too busy laughing at how low we stooped
The truth is they don't respect us
But what does one expect when we don't respect ourselves

I am my brother's keeper not his reaper
But it seems to me people rather die than survive and become stronger than they already were
Tsk shame on them, shame on me
It is sad that we are stuck in our old mentalities
We rather put each other 6 feet underground than help one another climb a mountain
Slavery may be over but now we are just binding ourselves in these rusty shackles that were left behind
They're cutting through our skin, poisoning our blood, corrupting our minds, making us forget that we have come a long way
That we are not where we once were
They strain us, drain us of all of our energy
Leaving us crawling on the floor searching for scrapes to put ourselves back together again
I understand that we are not where we wish to be
That we still have a long journey ahead of us
That we are still marching forward like soldiers
But it is not helping the fact that a brotha can go out and serve in the military for 13yrs and survive but come back home to his own street only to be shot in the head by his own partner
Then we complain saying the white man is killing us
Hell we are killing us
**** black lives matter
**** white lives matter
**** all **** lives matter
What we fail to realize that we are our own future
Not them
We control what we do
We control where we go
Not them
But if we continue down this dark path we are heading down
Well let me just say we won't have a future
And again I say...
I am my brother's keeper not his reaper
But the way things are looking
We will be our brother's reapers not their keepers

So it's late
Time for bed but I can't sleep
Instead I'm up writing these poems meant for thee
Poems you'll probably never get the chance to read
So I mine as well burn these words
Just to watch them float away in the simple breeze
Because you and I will never be
We're just friends...
But I guess that's the tease

Broken...
Broken hearts
Broken dreams
Broken fantasies that possess me
Broken manifested destinies
Broken...
Broken bones
Broken souls
Broken inner thoughts that get the best me  
Broken swords that seem to never miss me
Broken...
Broken mindsets
Broken sunsets
Broken clouds that now poor upon thee
Broken dams that wash away all life's worries
Broken...
The world we live in is just broken
But the pieces to put it back together are around us
The friends and family that surround us
So fix it and be proud you have us

Let my heart write from my soul
And soul be relinquished from the chains that buried it  beneath the ashes

Let my mind speak for itself
And not hide behind the diamond walls that glimmers in its wealth

Let the raging fires burn
And dry up the tears that drowned thee within the shadows of the darkest abyss

Let tho be free from the tyranny that posses thee
And not be the pathetic slave society expects him to be

I can't help but to wonder if this is all a dream
If this life I'm so obsessed my true reality
Or is it some concoction I dreamt up to make the perfect fantasy
What if my reality was actually my dreams
And my dreams my reality
Are the people I have come to love even real
Is this pain I have felt for a thousand years the real deal
Are these words even those of my own
Or am I being fed these lines from some alternate universe
What if the mirror was actually portal
And the image I'm seeing is actually me from other world
What if I'm actually paralysed from the waist down
And this desire I have to run is just me fulfilling my goals in my dreams
What if all of this was just a lie but we believed it as truth
Tell me you have never wondered this to be true
Wondered if we are actually dreams of another
And what if we are...
Then what would you do
Cause me personally don't have a clue

I can't seem to accept that you're gone
Constantly I find myself turning around only to discover you're no longer there
I miss you so much
Though you died nearly six years ago,
At night I cry myself to sleep missing your presence
Why...why did you have to leave me in this world all alone
It's so cold in this dark corner,
And my tears only make it worse
Every night I would wish upon the stars hoping for your return,
Write sad song wishing you would respond
BUT YOU NEVER DO!!!!
I can't help but blame myself for your death;
Maybe if I was there you would still be alive,
Or maybe I would be dead as well
Now the only thing that brings me comfort is this gun to my head
It speaks to me, ya know (laughs nervously)
It say that all I need to do is pull the trigger and all my pain will go away
Then we can be together once again,
But I don't want to die yet
I mean yes my heart aches
It even has a gaping hole in the center of it
But somehow it still remains in tact
Half its original mass, but still fighting to survive
Everything I know today is because of you
You taught me that life was a heartache
That it will stab me non-stop trying to get me to break
It almost got me to
I was on the verge to breaking
Almost forgot everything and gave in to the night
So close to smiling because I was losing my mind
But it's not over yet, not for me
Now that I see its treacherous ways
I'm ready to stand tall like you taught me to do
Thank you grandpa, I owe it all to you

Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Die
Perish
Cease to exist in this world anymore
Everyday it is the same
It is the same everyday
Blocking and stabbing
Perishing and dying
What's the difference
What's the point
To discover who you really are
Well I could of answered that without this civil war
You're a monster
A pleague that infest this once peaceful land
A mere insect destined to die like the rest
Screaming at the top of its lung
But to the rest of the world you are mute
You are nothing
Another soldier fighting for "the cause"
What cause,peace
Since when has peace come from violence
From violence only more violence come from it
That's just how the world works
It cannot look the other way just because you have ambition
The world is a cruel place
But it's only a cycle made up many smaller cycles
Therefore we are just pawns in something bigger than us
Something that we just can't comprehend quite yet
The only thing we can do right now is play our role
As we continue to hope to change the world

For sometime now I have just been watching everything you do
Just observing attempting to understand this feeling that pumps from my heart and conquers my brain
These images of you and I doing these events that seem so unrealistic
Us smiling together as one having the time of our lives
But that is only in my mind...
In reality the truth is a guy like I could never get a gal like you
It just goes against the order of humanity
You see I am at the bottom of food chain,
While you lay at the top basking in the glory
Yet still I take my binoculares just to look into your star like eyes that illuminates in the night sky
Once again beginning to day dream about driving off recklessly into the sunset with you in my arms
Giving you every bit of attention you deserve or shall I say in the word of the Great Albert Einstein
"A man who drives safely while kissing a beautiful girl isn't giving the girl the attention she deserves"
And you deserve it all
Every bit of it that a true man could possibly offer
So as I watch from a distance I hope to see a guy who can give you all his heart
Though I'd prefer you to be with the guy who wrote his heart

The ability to write poetry is the ability to understand life
To know it's not always about being the best
That it's not always about who can do what
Poetry is emotion
It is the silent words that lurk in our minds
It is our unsaid weaknesses exploited to their full potential
Which then makes it our strengths
It is the bridge that connects us to the mortal world
It is the proof that we are human
That we can cry
That we can laugh
That we can have remorse...
To us poet it is so much then just words on a piece of paper
It is our heart and our pride
As poets we all have our reasons why we write
Because we all come from our different backgrounds
Some of us have lost sight of the light
Other bath in it
There are even some who sit upon the border because they can't make up their mind
But as poets we all have one thing in common
We write because we are not immortal
We write because poetry is our life
We write because  poetry is our hope
And if we didn't have it we'd all be in a different place
Most likely a place beyond darkness
Even if the reason we write is joy
What's the point of being happy if everyone else is not
So we write to share
That's what it means to be a poet

Tick...Tock
Gun...Shot
Run...Now
Don’t...stop
Tick...Tock
Gun...Shot
Dreams
Long ago, there was a little black boy with a dream
A dream to one day be free of all the chaos in society
Long ago, there was a little white boy who held a gun up to his head
All because he became fed up with the injustices that trapped him within his own body
They were eight
Since when did the playground for eight year olds become the life that not even us adults wish to live
Since when did eight year olds cry so many crimson tears that they form a river big enough to swim in
Better yet, drown in
Back then this was unheard of
Back then it was war against color
You know those as white as snow against those as black as dirt
Now it is just pure ignorance
You know black lives, white lives, all lives matter
WELL ***** THAT!
The children’s lives are what matter
You know the future of our very existence on this earth
But it seems no one really notice that the children are suffering from our stupidity
Which leaves only one question
Does anybody really care
Tick...Tock
Gun...Shot
Say goodbye...to the dreams...that have been lost

Hiya gramps,

It's been a long time since I said hello
Not that I forgot about you though
It's just that things have been going kind of slow
I miss you, you just don't know
Honestly wish you never had to go
Life would have been so much easier wouldn't you say so
These tears wouldn't be flying like rain drops in the sky
Wouldn't be clinching this string so tight
Struggling not to say forget it all and just die
Belive me it's rather tempting but I could never bring myself to do it 
Always thought about that deathly frown you'd give me
And that judgemental shake of the head
Followed by the famous "I love you, but you got to try again"
Well anyways I just wanted to say hi I'm doing fine
You'd be so proud of me if you were still alive
For you and I I'll survive
Rest in peace grandpa I love you so much

What determines a man's strength
Is it his mental or physical endurance
Maybe it's the size of his muscle that counts
Or maybe it's all about the size of his little man down below
Is it determined by how fast he can run
How brave he fights
Determined by how quick he reacts to a particular situation
The real question is how do you judge a man
Is not every man different
So by logic must you know what real man looks like
But every being has their own taste
Their own opinion about what a real man is
So how do judge something that everyone views differently
The answer is you don't
Every man is equally as strong
It just depends on who he has by his side
Which is why I'm glad I have you
One who I cherish so
Who I so desperately strive to protect
Who gives me purpose in life
Who gives me the strength to continue forward
Instead of being paralysed unable to take another step
This is why I love you
You gave strength that I could not have imagine to obtain on my own
So I hope that you see that what I feel is true
That all I really want is to be with you

I never meant to break your heart
I never meant to walk out that night
I never meant to make you cry
I never meant to assassinate a part of you

I never meant to die that night
I never meant to run away
I never meant to
Please believe I never meant to

You see, I was always afraid
You were touching a part of me that I never thought anyone could
It felt so strange but it felt so right
And I hope you understand that it was too much for me at time

So I simply took a break
Running as fast as I could to the other side of the world
But when I finally arrived I realized I had made a great mistake
But I convinced myself that it was already too late

I never muscled up the courage to return home to you
I thought maybe you'd be upset with me
That you would never forgive me
Just causing me to really die inside

But I started to think that maybe I deserve to
Just thinking about how I must've made you feel
I began to cry every night starring at an old picture of you
Then I made up my mind that I was coming back home to you

But when I finally arrived I realized I had made another mistake
Because all I saw was you smiling away
I don't know what I really expected
I mean you were always too beautiful to be single forever

I see you got the two kids you always wanted
A boy and a girl named them Linus and Aries
I'm so happy for you
You fulfilled your dream

Then to make it even better you forgave me
I should be so elated, jumping in so much joy
But for the life of me I can't even put on a fake smile
So I walked away again

This time I went to the lake by the old house we bought together
Then I pulled out the gun you brought me for my birthday
Finally I closed my eyes and began to pray
Next thing I know I was dead

I never meant to break your heart
I never meant to walk out that night
I never meant to make you cry
I never meant to assassinate a part of you

I never meant to die that night
I never meant to run away
I never meant to
Please believe I never meant to

I feel like a loser stuck on the same level of life
Dying on the same exact part time after time again
Retry retry retry
I remember retry more fluently than my own name
Just wanted to be someone
Mean "special" in another's heart
Instead I received a dagger in my own
As the blood spills in circle around me
Forming a barrier I cannot cross
I stand, because I don't believe I deserve to sit
Absorbing the hatred towards myself
For becoming this being that I am not
What was I thinking when I decided to follow through with this plan
I realized it was wrong so long ago but it was a simpler time
Back than I was ignorant to the fact on what life really was
That it wasn't about being liked
It wasn't about being everyone's favorite
Now that I know the truth nothing is the same
I look upon my hands screaming fake at the top my lungs
I am fake, this is not who I am
It's too late for me though
Cause though I realize that this not who I am it is too late turn back
Not that there is a back to turn to
All I see is a trail of ashes because I burnt the real me out of existence
I don't even remember what I look like behind the mask
How could of been so blind
Now I cry in my sleep as attempt to remove the mask
Knowing that it is permanently glued to my face
For it is now my face
Because my true face has dissolved to waste

If you were to perish
I don't know what I'd do with my life
I would just crumble
Disappearing from all forms of light

If you were to perish
I wouldn't cry nor would I even be sad
I would just stare off into the Darking abyss
Lost within the endless loop of sadness

If you were to perish
What would happen to me
Would my soul rot as the depression finally take over,
Or would death's sword finally pierce through my wounded heart

If you were to perish
Would I perish as well
Would I finally drop my sword
Losing all functions in my body

If you were to perish
What would I feel
Where would I go
What would I do

If you were to perish
What would fill the gapping hole in my chest you'd leave behind
Would the little hope I have left finally vanish from my broken heart
Momma...

Mother
Please come back home alive
Don't leave me here alone
Please momma just come home alive

I am a man no, I am a black man
I walk these streets with a cursed mark upon my hands
The white man trys told me in these restraints
But I laugh, look him in the eyes and say

You don't control me
This ain't slavery no more
God granted me free will
So who are you to question the gifts god give

It's funny really
When you look at my kind all you see sin
As if we're monsters created by satan
But please keep thinking that way, it's only making us stronger

The thing is this is a new world
A world were the swords between our races no longer need to be drawn
But still you haven't given up
Even after seeing what our kind can do

I admire that though
It shows that you're strong
But you see you're fighting the wrong war
It's no longer this or that

Instead, it's can we survive
Yesterday we fought each other to the death
But today we need to fight side by side
So that we can even see a tomorrow

Can't you understand that
Yeah sure I'm black
And so what you're white
But this is not about that

Dr.Martin Luther King Jr. once said he had a dream
And his dream was to see our kinds live in peace and harmony
That one day the world won't see it as being black or white  
But instead see it as equal living beings

Have you ever thought he was right
You're trying to wage war against us
And we're simply trying to end it
But I guess that is asking too much

So many have died trying to keep us separated
But enough is enough
What if it was your grandma, brother or sister
Would you finally end it then

Why wait when it's too late
Why **** anymore who don't deserve to die
On both sides we have lost so much
So let's compromise

We don't ask to be on top
We just simply wanted to be treated as equals
Because we were all born in this world survivors
But what's the point of surviving just to walk into another fight

We're simply exhausted
So please let's end it here
Let's be friends
And survive to see tomorrow

Fly little birdy fly
Soar high
Look cool in the sky
Fly little birdy fly

Fly little birdy fly
Don't die
Live free for you and I
Fly little birdy fly

Sing little birdy sing
Don't stop
Fulfill your dream
Sing little birdy sing

Sing little birdy sing
Sing because you're free
And because you can
Sing little birdy sing

Smile little birdy smile
For it's gonna be okay
You'll change the world one of these days
Smile little birdy smile

Fly little birdy fly
Fly as you sing
Fly as you smile
Fly little birdy fly

"yas *****," I would say
Only to be dismissed away
Looking him in the eyes wondering
How dare you frown upon me
As if I'm the beast unseen
You came to my home stripped me of my joy
***** and killed my family
Holding me captive as a prison of war
How dare you frown upon me
As if I'm the beast unseen
You forced my daughter to cry
As you hauled off her last bit of hope
At least I have some dignity
Though it seems my pride has been lost deep within green
Where the blue skies don't feel darker than coal
How dare you frown upon me
As if I'm the beast unseen

Why can't "1" be an alphabet
I mean it looks just like the letter "L"
And so does "I" but no one ever goes there
All "3" is a backwards "E"
"7" looks like "Z" missing it's tail
But "1" still can't be an alphabet
That's kinda messed up don't you think
Why can't the order be "A" "B" "C" "1" "D"
That sounds pretty catchy to me
It can be changed
And if you dare say it can't think about poor little pluto
All my life they were telling pluto was planet
Then one day out of the blue they want to say it's not
That pluto dwarf planet
What a downgrade
Bet pluto back there crying his small tears away
But still "1" can't be an alphabet
That's hysterical if you ask me
So let it be
let "1" come after "C"
And wave your hands if you with me

How did we end up in this place
Trying to survive a war that exist because of greed
Living a life that is consumed by hate
Attempting to find joy that has eluded us for centuries
How did we end up in this place

We were once simple folks
Once upon a time we saw the rainbows and the unicorns that skedaddled in the wind
Now all we see is the dull black and white world
As we chose to focus on the corruption, the deception, and the perfect complexion
Completely ignoring the beauties in life
Forcing you to ask how did we end up in this place

We were once from a world where the little children can go outside and play in peace
Didn't have to worry about them ducking and covering praying this bullets didn't have their names written all over it
Didn't have to worry about mysterious people trying to ****** them up and force them into the *** trade
Once again forcing you to ask how did we end up in this place

We were once a family
If not by blood by relations
Starvation wasn't a thing that existed in our communities
If food was something you could not afford your next door neighbor had your back 
Offering you a four course meal even putting close on your back
So tell me...if this is where we came from
How did we...end up in this place

In the past I may have been a failure,
But that was in the past and this is now
The damage has been dealt already,
And I cannot change that
All I can do now is continue moving foward using my past to make a better future
That is all I can do now
In the past I may have been a failure
But my past does not determine my future
So on this day I pledge with every breath I breathe
No more.
No more!
I shall rise
I...shall...rise!
In the past I may have been a failure
But in the future...

I will be a leader

We use to be a strong team
Unbreakable or so it seemed
I remember all the laughs we once shared
All the wars we fought as a family
We were inseparable
Now it's seems we vanished from the face of the earth
I don't know what happened to us
Don't know how are once entwined lives because so distant
But I just wanted to send this message to all of you
Just to say I haven't forgotten about y'all
And that I miss you guys
Hellopoetry107
May we rise once again

I can't breathe
My entire world is crumbling down upon me
It's enclosing on me,squeezing me,trying to pop me like a pimple
Trying to force to become this being that I am not
I CAN'T BREATHE!
So I just scream,"Get off me,leave me alone",
But no no no it does not go!
No,it just get closer and closer,
Whispering in my ear louder and louder!
Why won't you just leave me alone!
You expect me to be genius that I am not
This problem solver at a moments notice
Trying to compare me to them
Well I am not them,I am me
I am not this Almighty smart being
I do not have wings, soaring high above the skies
No,I run in the woods,attempting to hide from judgmental words
I run in the wind,across the seas, burning the words to ashes as I pass them by
Laughing yet crying because I have become exhausted from the nonstop comparisons
No matter where I go they seem to find me
Dancing around my head taunting me
I will never be free
Why won't you just let me be
Why must you hold me in these handcuffs trying to bend me to your will
Conditioning me until I forget who I am
Why...?
Don't you see I will never be like them
I can never be like them
Though I wish I could
I must find my own way
Whatever way that may be,
I'll find it and just be me

As I walk through the battlefeild of hate
Bleeding every step of the way
I remember the reason why I fight
The reason why I must return home

As the blood gushes out of my open wounds
My strength never dwindle beyond my reach
I crawl in pain making my way
Just to live another day

As I watch my comrades fall to the ground
My fears grew stronger
And my pride lit the night,
I'm coming home...that I do swear

I made a promise
One that I plan to keep
I will not die here
Not as long as my heart beats

You wait for me at home
And I will see you soon
My love of my life...stay strong my dear
For me...please...I will end this here

Happy
Think happy
Think happy thoughts
Joy.
What is joy?
Joy is having friends and family
Ones who care about you
Who nurture you in your time of need
Yeah.
They want to see you grow
Soar high in the sky
Not try and hinder you
Nailing you to the ground damaging your wings  
They wish to see you smile not frown
Dance around like your a child
Be yourself
That is joy correct or am I wrong
Ehh who cares that's still what I'm going to do

Is this life real
My mind can't accept that it is
After so many years of torment
After so many years of agony
Is this pain free life real
Every step I take these days feel like a dream
Every person I meet seem like a figment of my imagination
(takes a deep breath)
I just can't believe that I'm still alive
All those years I swore I'd do it
Repeating today is going to be the day I end this misery
Hiding the true pain I felt inside from the outside world
Just smiling and waving hoping one day someone would finally see through this lie
Then again I never really wanted to die
I just wanted my life to get better
So maybe just maybe this life is real
Maybe just maybe I am still alive
And my heart just needs to accept reality
This pain free life I live today
Well...maybe it is the real I always wanted to live

I speak in behalf of the trees
The voiceless souls who lay dormant upon this wretched plain
I speak in behalf of the animals
Whose homes we destroy everyday for our own personal gain
I see their tears
The ones they conseal underneath their blood drenched skin
I feel their pain
The pain us humans seem to ignore because we are cold hearted  beings
Don't you see what we are doing
Mother nature is screaming in agony as we laugh in her face
She gives us life
In return we give her death
She gives us a home
In return we give her regret
It's a shame really
We should be appalled in ourselves but we are too busy basking in our own glory
Our temporary glory at that
What will we do when mother nature has nothing else to offer us
All because we sapped her dry
Because we are greedy vessels of pure meat
Maybe then we will taste a piece of our own "glory"
What we deserve...
And that is death!

As poets we are supposed to be master of words
Especially if those words are meant to describe how we feel inside
But when it comes down to you I'm more of an idiot than a poet
Simply because there are absolutely no words that come to mind
Then what makes it worse I have no idea why this is
Why I find myself staring at a blank sheet of paper for hours on end
Why I can't stop thinking about you even when you're miles away
Why I want to know ever little detail about you before I even take a glance at your physical beauty
Honestly this time I'm just clueless
Maybe it's because of that smile of yours
Or maybe it's because of those pearls for eyes that shine when the sun rises
I just really want to understand why I change so drastically when in your presence
Why my heart temporarily takes control of my mind when you walk by
Please I just want to understand why...
Why I become so happy when you say something as simple as hi
It is just so strange for I
But I would truly dread the day you say bye

For sixteen years I wondered what it was like to have a father
For sixteen years I would stare at the stars wondering if one was even assigned me
For sixteen years I walked through the park only to see children laugh and play with their parents
For sixteen years...
I felt alone and confused
As I attempted to understand what it meant to be a man
I had no one to to call father and no one to look up to
While it seemed the rest of the world had everything I ever asked for
I would end up asking myself why did my father abandoned me
Why was he so enraged by my very existence he never showed his face to me
Why didn't he love me
Why...
I remember the day he walked through the front door
Full of so much joy I was, but angry
I took a quick glance at him wondering where had he been all this time
Why now did he decide to show himself
But still a part of me did not care
All that matter to me is that finally did
My head filled itself with so many questions of what it meant to be a man
But I was too afraid to ask them
Now I look back and think how naive I was
I was blinded from the truth by pure excitement
I mean I finally wasn't alone
But now I'm just angry by him existing
All he does is lie, cheat, and steal
Silly me for thinking he could save me
Now I just want him gone and for things to go back to the way they use to be
The way it was for sixteen years
Sixteen years of hell for me
But I still smiled because I had a mother who loved me
For sixteen years I lived without him and now...
Well now I can live without him for all eternity

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

I know I made many mistakes in my lifetime
Many in which I should never be forgiven for
But I don't know if I can live this way anymore
Cause I have never lived soulless before
Now I can't see and my heart is struggling to beat
And I'm craving to be whole once more
Please make the pain go away
I don't want to live this way

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

I'm afraid, so afraid cause i have never felt this way before
I just want to hold her once more
Embracing her like I tried before
But I was a fool back then
I didn't realize what we had was so special
That we were actually meant to be forever
And not the short time I was hoping for
Didn't realize how much I falling for jer
Now I'm here wondering what is going on

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

I love her, I love her so much
Wish I could tell her how sorry I truly am
I just want to hold her hand and lay in the sand
You know be free under a tree and hope not to get stung by a bee
But I know for a fact she won't see what I I see
Especially after I betrayed her after she she trusted me
I stabbed her in the back and walked the other way
Now look at where I'm at
Standing at the corner with a trick bat
Fighting them off like they are a witch rat

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
I hope she comes back

Remember
You must remember
Remember who you are
Why you came to this place

Remember
Why can't you remember
You're worthless
A disgrace to humanity

No,That's not true
It can't be true
You have accomplished so much
Gained so much on your own

Stop lying to yourself
What have you really gained
you're still alone in a hell like world
Burning your soul over an open fire

Why...
Why do you torture yourself
Feeding yourself this false hope
Just give in already

No one cares about you
You're nothing
If you were to disappear no would notice
GIVE IN ALREADY,leave your soul

My soul...
I can't leave something that has already gone
But even it wasn't I would never give in to you
Never will I give up as if my life means nothing

You have no soul
WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY LOSE
Come with me my child
It will be alright

*To be continued

She use to smile, ya know
In the distant past anyways
Never let anything take that smile from her
Until those days...
Until the days she watched parents get taken away
She was 12
Watched her dad get gunned down at point blank range
And her momma...
Well her momma went insane
Took her own life in vain
She got ***** 30 times a day
By ten different guys all ending the same way
So can you really blame her
She just couldn't take it anymore
It wasn't until 10 years later she finally got away
But she was forever changed after that day
A cold blooded killer
Drained all of their life force away
Now she doesn't smile
Forever remembering the days she was taken away
Forever remembering the days she escaped

I'm only human
But I feel like the world expects me to be a God
Refusing to accept me because I'm not like them
A puppet with strings sticking out of his broken limbs
A pretender hiding his face behind the white mask of solitude
Walking the same beated path the rest of you slaves do
I'm sorry world but I rather not be a slave to society
Because I'm own being who travels the road less taken
A being who paves his own destiny with every step he takes
Because I'm the master of my fate and the captain of my soul
And I refuse to be a piece of lettuce in another's salad bowl
So instead selling myself out like a ****** on the side of the road
I'll be a king who sits on his own throne

Good Afternoon,


The following should not be televised but is sadly the truth


Please support the official release

Bang Bang
Well look at what we have here
Another black boy laying on the ground dead
Bang Bang
Two more white boys on the ground gasping for air
Screaming in pain and agony as the blood gushes from their open wounds
**** it!
When will it end
When will the endless of cycle of violence come to an end
Just last week a four year old was shot in the face in a shootout between the white man and a ******
Call the police someone screamed
No, please don't
They don't understand how to handle situations like this 
They'll only make it worse I promise you that
Run, run like the wind or this really will be the end
No that's my son the ******'s momma screams
Her son is on the ground praying for his life
I don't wanna die,i don't wanna die,he cries at the top of his lungs
I'm sorry Joseph, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I couldn't avenge you
You see Joseph was his little brother who was shot and killed by a white cop two weeks before
He was a straight A student who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time
Now we are here big bro seeking revenge for his little brother's death
How noble but now death seeks to reap another life lost in the shadows
**** it the 5.0 is here, disperse
Dang it big bro is dead, and momma just froze appalled by what she just witnessed
The sky really is a painted mural made of blood
Sad tale both ended by the hands of a cop

Now the white man's story was a bit different
Long ago he was a proud member of society
He helped a lot of people rise up when they fell to their knees
Then one day he and his family was sitting at the dinning room table eating the dinner his wife just prepared
It all happened so suddenly he proclaimed
Seven black males burst through the front door and gunned them down in matter of seconds
He was the only survivor, in a single night he lost his entire livihood
Now he is just this hollowed out corps floating in a black ocean
He began to hear voices in his head telling him to **** them all
Thus Joseph life was stolen and left in a dark ally behind the middle of nowhere
Bang Bang
Now this story begins once again
Will the violence ever come to an end

You know I'm tired of playing this game
Always chasing the right girl away
All because I'm too blind and stupid chasing after the wrong
Why am I playing this ******* game
It's like I'm allergenic to the truth,
And just enjoy beating my self as if I'm slave
Like seriously what the **** am I doing with my life
Ruining it, maybe
Because I'm sure as hell ain't making it better
I mean look at me battle scares are bruises imprisons my body in the jail ceil in monopoly
Only if it were a game
But no, this real life
This is reality, what my life will be based off of
But stupid ol' me treat it as if it was a ******* game  
Why can't I get it through my thick skull that is not a ******* game
Am I retarted or just that slow
It is as if my ******* chained my arms to the **** floor and threw away the ******* keys
What the **** am I doing with my ******* life
Why am I throwing it away as if it is worthless tool
Am I really that much of a fool
Just sitting down on this stool watching the clock tic
What the **** am I doing with my life
No seriously someone please tell
Cause clearly I'm not bright enough to know

Set me free
Set me free
I beg of thee
I'm tired of these ******* shooting at me
Cause It's the same **** everyday
Me running away
Hoping I don't get caught by the likes of thee
And by thee I mean them
The ****** who once bullied me
Punching me
Stomping me
Humiliating me
Making me forget I'm a human being
So I finally got fed and became all big and bad
That's where my story got sad
And I became another victim
Another **** on the street
But I didn't choose the **** life
The **** life chose me

Remember
You must remember
Remember who you are
Why you came to this place

Remember
Why can't you remember
You're worthless
A disgrace to humanity

No,That's not true
It can't be true
You have accomplished so much
Gained so much on your own

Stop lying to yourself
What have you really gained
you're still alone in a hell like world
Burning your soul over an open fire

Why...
Why do you torture yourself
Feeding yourself this false hope
Just give in already

No one cares about you
You're nothing
If you were to disappear no would notice
GIVE IN ALREADY,leave your soul

My soul...
I can't leave something that has already gone
But even it wasn't I would never give in to you
Never will I give up as if my life means nothing

You have no soul
WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY LOSE
Come with me my child
It will be alright

*To be continued