I wonder...
Can you hear me
Can you really hear my whispers in heaven
Or is that just another lie they told me so I would stop crying
I miss you so much
Watching me or not, I just want you here
Just to see you one more time
Hug you until I die so I can stand by your side JUST ONE MORE TIME
Just one more time...
Is that too much to ask
You meant so much to me
In fact the world was so much clearer when you were still alive
Now it is just blur
A giant blob of pure nothing
And to stand at your grave isn't enough to clear my sight
My soul feels like it is burning to ashes as your body decomposes  
I'm so scared
Help me...
I need you
Please...wipe my tears away
Just one more time
Please

A single tear drop falls from the forbidden skies <br>
Flooding the earth with the pain from a single guy<br>
His heart betrayed ripped to shreds forcing him to hide <br>
He loved her but now she says bye <br>
And thus the sky continue to rain dry <br>
As he dies on the inside

I don't understand why the innocent must pay for the treacherous ways
Why they must be cut down like trees without ever getting a say
Constantly being picked at as if they are the turkey on thanksgiving day
The only difference is they don't get a silver tray
No,their trays are where ever they finally collapse from the pressure
Maybe they'd get lucky and fall in bed of roses
Like it would make difference anyways;
Still the carving knives would be feet that trample upon them,
And the forks would be fist that lay waste to their remains
Their tears would be flavor that was locked in their tender meat
As they curl up in ball trying to lessin the pain
The pain,the endless nightmare they deal with every single day
That is the toll they must pay
Waiting for their bodies to finally decay
Until then they are a mp3 stuck on replay
Living the same life over and over again
Some days the pain is actually worse;
The bleeding scare tissue never really goes away
It is just reopened wider everyday
At times it gets so bad they just lay
As they stare at the clouds that pass by
Smiling begging them to stay,
But no they always go away
That is when the blade comes into play
Finally they would close their eyes and began to pray
Look the other way and just say
"So the treacherous finally got their way¨

World.
I have an important annoucement to make
An announcement that will leave many of you stunned
I just can't hold it in anymore
It rampages in my heart and soul
Like a never before seen angry beast
So here I go
I...am a nerd
There I said it
It's out now so let it be known
And for now on it will shown

When I was a kid,
And I mean when I was a kid
I had a dream
It was a very profound dream,
You'd never think a mere kid could even have these thoughts

Over the years this dream just dissipated into dust
After a while there wasn't even dust
It had become a forgotten memory
Force subdue harsh punishment for existing
Until even the forgotten forgot it

Before long it had began to crumble
As it finally understood that it would never see the light of day again
That it would forever soak in the pitts of hell
Falling apart then burning to ashes
So in a dark corner it sat

Not that there was a light to began with
It cried in sorrow hoping that it would get lucky and be saved
That even possibly the forgotten remembered it
Days, months, then years past
And still it sat in a dark corner burned to a crisp

It comes to prove that even dreams have dreams
A desire to be simply fulfilled
Is that too much to ask
To be complete
And die only to be reborn in another kid

I been meaning to ask you a question
But ever time we come face to face I become afraid
I begin to shake as if I'm freezing cold
My words become so scattered I just stare and give you this awkward smile
Then I would just run away soaking myself in my own tears
Thinking about pathetic I truly am
So this is me turning to my last resort
The only way I can truly communicate this with you
Okay here I go

The stars are beautiful wouldn't you say
The full moon as well
It reminds me of what it is like to be whole again
You know having both halves of a heart that was broken long ago
It really is my favorite past time
Well before I met you anyways
Recently the stars and the moon have been giving me the cold shoulder
After saying how much of an idiot I am
Telling me that I shouldn't be here

I would ask where should I be and they would just stare at me
Afterwards saying that I really am stupid
I remember thinking well that's not very nice, not realizing that it's true
I would then return to my room wondering what did they mean
Which caused me to think of you
Well I was always thinking of you
Then I realized I think in love with you
You see for some time I have been feeling this way
But I never knew how comprehend this sweet sensation

It would explain so much
How I became so nervous when with you alone
Always making these stupid excuses on why I had to go, I really do feel something for you don't I
But it just seems like every move I make I am just pushing you way
Like I really don't want to be near you
When the truth is it's the other way around
I never want to be away from you
I mean I love you
And I can't help to think that you feel the same way

You have such a beautiful smile ya know
To me that was your best physical feature
I purposely try my best to make you laugh
Making these corny jokes just to see you smile
I'm surprised you never caught on to that considering how smart you are
Because you really are smart
Sometimes you make me feel dumb
But I love that about you
I love everything about you

But anyways my question
ummm you see I was wondering
This...this is just a suggestion
But I was wondering if you would like to go on a date
Anywhere would be fine just as long as I'm with you
Well that pretty much sums it up
You know why I have been so distant and all
That's all I really I had to say
And I hope you just say yes

Sincerely,

Adam

I don't know what I'm doing anymore
I just wanna go splat all over the wall
I wanna cut my chest wide open
Then say goodbye to it all
I been through so much recently
When I haven't even got over my past
So why don't I just die already
Just close my eyes and rot away
Cause I don't know what I'm doing anymore
I just wanna go splat all over the wall
Write my death note with my own blood
Then disappear in a puddle in the hall

I can't help but to ask what war are we truly fighting
Is it against them...
Or is it against the image in the mirror
We claim that ever decision we make is for the greater good of the human race
But we blow their heads off and celebrate it as a victory
And that is what gets to me
How could we smile and laugh as if what we just did was okay
As if the life we just passed judgment upon meant nothing
What if he/she was a father or a mother
One who was just shooting back because their alternative was to bath in puddle of their own children's blood
Can't you see they are fighting the same battle as us
Because they are just like us
They are trying to earn the title is survivor just like us
They just want to go home to their families just like us
They just want to protect their loved ones just like us
But unlike us the majority of them don't make it back
Because unlike us they lay on the battlefield saying their final goodbyes from a far
No one ever thinks about the pain a suffering we bring in order to uphold peace
So allow me to end this with a question

Is it truly peace we seek, if the price we pay is another's life?

I lived...
      
          I died...

                    I was reborn...


          Now I rise.

For what reason should I give a ****
Should I tell you what has been on my mind
For what reason should I listen to you
When you ignore everything I say

You play this game that manipulates my life
Then want to get mad at me when my life finally crumbles
When I finally become depressed because my mind can't handle the torture
For what reason do you pretend to give two ***** about me

You make me sick and tired of being alive
Because every thought in my head is that of you telling me I can't
And I know can't but I still try to thrive
Only to dive six feet deeper into the solid ground

I've gone so far down now that I can feel the firey pitts of hell burn my *** to ashes
And it hurts but I cannot cry because I still fear what you think of me
So I pretend not to give a **** when a **** is all I have to give
Because the ***** been burned long before I got to this point

So I laugh knowing that the blood of ******* would spued out my mouth
But just like everything else you ignore that as well
And it enrages me until the point the light in my life ceased to exist
So I end up sitting alone in another lonely night

Can't you open your eyes for not five second
Just see my true sorrow that I don't even hide
Hear my cries of me begging please notice please notice
Please notice me I beg thee

I've become so weak I crawl instead of walking
I'm too tired to eat,Too hungry to sleep
I just don't know what to do anymore
Yet there you are turning your back to as you always have

So why should I give a **** anymore
Though everything is on my mind
Why should I listen these days
When these days are the ones that have finally broken me

I don't care anymore
I can't care anymore
I'm done for
Goodbye world

There are a trillion stars in the midnight skies
Each one that much more beautiful than the last
Which forced me into this great dilemma you see
As I attempted to find the one that best resembled you  
Night after night I would exam the majestic stars
Only to fail time after time again
Not a single one of these stars came close to your angel-like beauty
Not a single star indeed
For you see there is no star that can shine as bright as you
Then I began to think about how fascinating it was to live in galaxy full a trillion stars
Which made me think of you
You're so beautiful you remind me of our galaxy the Milkey Way
That's right there is no SINGLE star that is close to you
But there is a trillion who comes close

Who am I to judge men with broken souls
To tell them that the dagger that currently pierces their heart hurts or not
What right do I have to tell them to get over it
As if I have felt the pain that courses through their veins
Over the generation humankind has been known to reject science they have yet to understand
And as a man I can vouch for that
We as men have been marked as emotionless beings
But can you really blame us for it
Growing up we were fed with the knowledge of our past lives
That we had to remain strong when times got tough
Simply because of the fact that we are men
When they cry our shoulders are the ones they lean upon
When they are scared we are the ones they look to for protection
And we can't let them down
What would we look like if we ran cowardly in the mist of the darkness
Seeing their faces slowly being drenched in tears as we turned the other way
So as men we reject the feeling of pain to be there for those who need our help
But because of this we cry silently into the air wishing we had the option to run
That we had the option to hide behind someone and feel safe
But that's not the case
We stand there starring danger in the eyes only thinking about those behind us
So when I see a man with a broken soul I can't blame him
Though I probably haven't felt his pain, I felt pain similar too it
For the dagger it leaves lodged into your chest
You tell us if it hurts or not

Dare I say flawless
Dare I say beautiful
Dare I say a dream come true
Have you figured it out yet,
I speak of you
These roses are red
Those violets are blue
But you...
Well you are something far beyond just being true
You are a creature of my imagination
Yet, you exist in reality
You are neither an angel nor a demon,
But something in between the two
Your voice is that of a sirens'
Every word you say has the perfect pitch of the perfect tone
Music to my awakened ears
Your eyes appear to be stars in the enriched skies
Your smile an oasis of pure unimaginable beauty
Then there is just you as a whole
you are...something I can't explain
You're smart,talented,and just fun to be around
A girl like deserve something no mere man can offer
Something no one wants to willingly give
So listen to me and take my hand
Let's walk off into the sunset together
Looking forward to the future leaving the past behind
I give to you this with great ease
I give you the keys to my beating heart

I'm a nice guy
A jolly one in fact
But it seems only my emotions of hatred make it to the outside world
Caging my smile in a dark barrier of misconception
Giving off this false impression that I am a demoned eyed beast
But I am here, somewhere beneath this hollowed mask
I am here laughing,singing,playing, waiting for the day I shall be released from this barless cage
And believe me the day is rapidly approaching
I can feel it coursing through my veins
The pure joy pumping in my blood
But until the day it finally makes it way through the pores of my skin
I shall sit here silently looking into the outside world,
Awaiting my turn to bath in its glorious rays

I told them I was broken but they didn't care
They just laughed and mocked me until my soul disintegrated into thin air
Now I was lost...and confused wondering why am I here
Wondering why I even cared about these wretched fools

They beat me...

Punching me and kicking me until my heart became dull
Until my will to go on was holding on by a thin thread
Then stood above me just to spit upon my last bit of hope
Robbing me of the little life that pumped through my swollen veins

Now I'm dead...

I laid there like a mindless zombie just staring into their hollowed out souls
Thinking why me...Why innocent ol me?

Alas I rose...

I rose with eyes blacker than the darkest abyss
Blood dripping from the hearts of the demons that possessed my flesh
Knives seeping from beneath my rotting corpse
I'm going to **** you but you should know....

**This... is all... your fault

And with this I decree ******* to be a national holiday
As I give my heart away saying **** what they say
Because on this day love is in the air
But lucky me I am still single as you can clearly tell
But the question is how if there are so many fish in the sea
All swimming right past me ignoring me
Even if silly me attempt to talk to thee
They all just give me the fin and jumps on another D
As he looks back just smiles at me
So here's me wave bye to mr. Luck
Knowing **** well he just wants to **** the sea
Sending them back to me crying
Just to burry their gem like eyes into everything but where I want them to be
Well **** life I scream to the court inside of me
Because I just got sentenced to you thought you were getting lucky
As I get hit with you're such a great guy
Oh my, ***** you lie
Because if I was a great guy why every time I try to talk to you, you say goodbye
I smell *******
But of course you don't think I smell it on thee
But hey this is my life
May I have some more ******* in wine
Because it looks like I'm calling it a night

I do whatever I want
I do whatever I please
I don't give a **** about society
I want to be a player for the rest of my life
I want to **** a different ***** every night
I doubt anyone would care how I spend my time
After all it is my dime
Besides, the light don't shine in the hood these days
That's why I decided to live this way

Then she came
**** she just had to come

***** turned to woman and the hood life escaped me
That no way I'd be tied down **** was a thing of the past
Them eyes though...
I swear those things knew hypnosis
That smile was like a hurricane
Blew my *** a thousand miles away
I couldn't resist her
Not that I really wanted to
My body became paralyzed and my mind was finally made up

I need her
I had to have her
I just want to please her
She got me saying,"hallelujah thank ya jesus"
Thank you for placing this thing of beauty before me
When I finally said,"hey",  I couldn't believe it
She was just so nice and my heart just began to pound away
oh hell yes she gonna be mine this day
I don't care what I got to do, it's going to end up this way

chic chic* bang

chic chic bang
* ring ring* ring ring*
Hello.
No, no that can't be so

All my life I had to fight
Never knew what was wrong or right
Nobody had faith in me
They all abandoned me
But not that man
The man who gave me a chance

Now he is dead
And I'm all alone once again

All my life I had to fight
Never knew what was wrong or right
Nobody had faith in me
They all abandoned me
But not that man
The man who gave me a chance

Now he is dead
And I'm alone once again

But before he went out with a bang
He taught me one valuable thing
The only reason I'm alone is because I chose to be

She will never know that I still love her so
That I would still give her the world if I could afford to do so
All she knows is that I became this ******* and told her to go
So she pushed me away shouting I hope you burn
Not realizing that my heart and soul were already engulfed in flames
As I secretly cried saying I hope you find mr.right
She doesn't know how I spent the rest of that night
That I watched her walk away until she was out of sight
Before collapsing to my knees and began to cry with all my might

I was told everything happens for a reason,
But I can't seem to find a reason for this
Six years ago you took my grandpa
The man who molded me into shape
I looked up to him because I had no father
To me he was the closest thing I had to one
But none of that mattered to you did it
Hell no...
The man who got me to believe in you
Now you come to finish the job
Well ******* God, *******
You took everything from me
Now you're after my mother
The women who single handedly raised me
Who cared for me
Why...?
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO YOU!!!!
You said you'd protect us
What kind of protection is this
That you ****** the ones who were there for me
WHY DON'T YOU JUST **** ME!!!!!
Please just stop ******* with me and do it already
Just smite me down I beg of thee
Show thou mercy on my weakened soul
Just leave her alone and take me already
Please...I beg of thee

Hahahaha what a shame
The human race is so pathetic
Jumping on mere a child
So many of you and only one of him
What a disgrace
You dare call yourself adults
Letting this "CHILD" rally you up
Like seriously do you not have lives
Wasting your time trying to win a war that cannot be won  
Because if you do manage to "WIN"
What do you gain
"Oh,I made this kid shut up"
Newsflash LOSER you're nothing but a bully
A grown *** bully
One who apparently does not have a life
Because he/she is wasting his/her time trying to fight a child
So do yourself a favor and back the hell up
And while you're at it grow a pair
Cause apparently you don't have any if you're jumping on a kid

Into the void I go
Nothing but darkness from head to toe
I'm cold...
I hear a whisper in the distance
It tells me to just let it go
So I do...
I see a light
So I smile thinking it's my way out
But I was wrong...
It was just another void colder than the one before
So into the void I go
With no hope
With no soul**
I tried to find myself
in places that didn't exist...
My soul and heart are filled with void
I tried to find the missing piece
But I only ended up losing more
I just wanna find happiness
Within myself...
Always wandering
If there's a way out of this
....Getting high
Trying to fill this void
Realizing there's no way out
...living in hell on earth

For sixteen years I wondered what it was like to have a father
For sixteen years I would stare at the stars wondering if one was even assigned me
For sixteen years I walked through the park only to see children laugh and play with their parents
For sixteen years...
I felt alone and confused
As I attempted to understand what it meant to be a man
I had no one to to call father and no one to look up to
While it seemed the rest of the world had everything I ever asked for
I would end up asking myself why did my father abandoned me
Why was he so enraged by my very existence he never showed his face to me
Why didn't he love me
Why...
I remember the day he walked through the front door
Full of so much joy I was, but angry
I took a quick glance at him wondering where had he been all this time
Why now did he decide to show himself
But still a part of me did not care
All that matter to me is that finally did
My head filled itself with so many questions of what it meant to be a man
But I was too afraid to ask them
Now I look back and think how naive I was
I was blinded from the truth by pure excitement
I mean I finally wasn't alone
But now I'm just angry by him existing
All he does is lie, cheat, and steal
Silly me for thinking he could save me
Now I just want him gone and for things to go back to the way they use to be
The way it was for sixteen years
Sixteen years of hell for me
But I still smiled because I had a mother who loved me
For sixteen years I lived without him and now...
Well now I can live without him for all eternity

Poem to no one

I remember
I remember when I saw her for the very first time
The way she walked was so exquisite
Her lips were so plump and juicy
She was just a fine specimen
I remember wanting to run after her so bad
But in my mind I thought she was just too good for me
I mean look at me
I'm just a mere mortal born in the wrong place at the wrong time
While she, she was clearly an angel that fell from heaven
Everything about her was just perfect
Her eyes were like precious jewels that shimmered under any and every light
Her voice was so sweet yet had a certain essence of power behind it that could not be described
I remember my heart racing at the speed of light
Pounding so hard that I began to think that it would fall out
My eyes were beginning to dry because I couldn't find the strength to close them as she walked by
My speech became jumbled as if I was never taught how to speak in the first place
I'd curse myself because I feared that if I didn't say something soon another man would swoop her away
I mean she was just that beautiful
Too beautiful for me to muscle of the strength I clearly did not have
So I just wrote this poem titling it to "no one"
Because to her the girl I let get away I am no one

Hey...you okay
You seem kinda messed up in the head
Also seem to be talking a lot of ****
Like I don't know if I should give you some toilet paper or breath mint
Yeaaaaaa, that was kinda lame
But anyways can I ask you something
like on the real note  every time I hear your voice this question just appears in my head
It literally pulls a great Houdini on my *** shouting abracadabra as is makes its grand entrance
Yes I got jokes but I don't use them often
Now listen closely I don't want you to miss anything
You listening?
Okay good

Do I give a ****
Do I look like I give a ****
No seriously do I look like a give a ****
Cause apparently I'm supposed to give these two major ***** about what you think about me
Then I'm supposed to give even more ***** about what you "THINK" I think about you
When the truth in the matter I don't give a **** about you
You expecting me to drop down to your level taking these cheap shots
"oh, I ****** your mom last night"
congratulations couldn't get any from your age so you went and found yourself a cougar
Bravo whoopdy-*******-do
Now let's get real, grow up
Are you really that pathetic that you attack someone who isn't even in this situation
Like **** man how low can you go
This **** ain't limbo ya know
Look at you taking cheap shot at me from a far
oooooo I'm so afraid
Anyways that's all I wanted to say
If you're a real man you'd say it to my face
And for future notice remember this
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Hop off my ****
Especially you

I wish my life was fairytales and rainbows
I wish everything would fall in place like it was meant to
I wish I had the strength to never let her go
To hold her tight in my arms as if we melted into one

But that's just not the way my life goes

No, my life is difficult
Nothing ever goes the way it was meant to
There are no rainbows or tooth fairies in my reality
My dreams are that of war and casualties

I wish I lived in a different world
I wish I could make everyone proud of me
I wish I could walk with pride in my chest
Never letting the worse get a hold of me

But that's just not the way my life goes

In actuality I am weak
On the floor searching for the scrapes of dignity
My chest is flat because all pride has deserted me
The worse is always getting a hold of me

I wish I was strong you see
Flying high in the clouds above me
But like I stated before
That's just not the way my life goes

Little bear, don't be afraid
Everything is going to be okay
The sun will shine once more and, the birdies well they're just sleeping
The waves are calm but they aren't gone

Little bear, don't be afriad
Everything is going to be okay
Just close your eyes and go to sleep
And when you awake oh, the joys you will see

They tell me not to dwindle in the past
But that just causes me to laugh
Sometimes it is better to live in the past
Because the present is straight ***

It's all because I have these beliefs they view me as ******* rebel
I'm dangerous they say
A corruption to society
When the truth is they just want to exile me

The world just isn't ready for change
It wants to cling onto the past as if the past is its very life force
How hypocritical
Funny if you ask me

So I'll just watch from the moon as the earth spins "uncontrollably"
Laughing away as the stars shine in the distant space
Just awaiting my day
The day I will make my return to the hypocrites of society

I ain't royalty
But I would hope I ain't got to be .
Because I just want to write some poetry
Telling a story about this underrated loyalty
Because it seems we put our trust in the wrong people and now we're suffering
Unable to walk down the streets without seeing these guns pointing
Engraved with these secret messages that just happen to be not so secretive
Because we all know that these engraving are just names
The golden ticket to the end of your story
Cue the watering
Because now there are loved ones crying
Unable to comprehend what is happening
Asking what did he/she do to deserve this
When in actuality the answer is simple they did nothing
They just fell victim to humanity stupidity
Its greed and thirst for violence is starting to get the best of us
And we just turn a blind eye because we don't want to be next
I mean death, the afterlife, are we truly prepared to face what comes after this
The answer is no because we are weak minded beings who are afraid of everything
So we make these fancy machinery to protect us from our own buffoonery
And that is just how it is
The real truth of our end

I wish things would go back to the way they use to be...
You know just us three
I wish my sweet dreams wouldn't turn into horrific nightmares...
That haunt me
I wish I could just watch the sunrise and fly like a birdy...
Or maybe chill under a tree
I wish I actually understood this world...
It always manages to get to thee
The thing there are many things I wish in this life
But most of the time my wishes never come true
But in a turn of events one wish did
After all...
I got you

I have been fighting for far too long to just lay down and die
Been shot at, beat down yet still managed to survive
What's funny they treat me like I have committed some type of crime
But in actuality the only crime I have committed is being that black guy
**** I never realized racist this world truly was
It makes me want to stand here and cry to the skies
What right does the white man have to be mad at my kind
They stole us from our homes and broke our mind
Taking our culture, our religion, taking away our whole ******* identity
This is some ******* I swear
Why can't the world just be fair
All lives matter
But if you look at the world today...
You can't tell

Why can't the rain be seen as beautiful
Like it asked to be the symbol of depression
Why does the world see it as being the dark Lord of the night
As if its dropping are toxic waste ready to burn us all away
Why must the rain be viewed as pure ugliness
As if what it has done for us mean absolutely nothing
Doesn't it mean something
It has watered the crops that feed us
Gave us hope when none existed
But instead of being praised like it should be...
It is viewed as the god of destruction just like its counterpart fire
Another understood element
Rain...they sing songs about it
Wishing it to go away
Disgracing its name
Again calling it,"destruction"
But the way I see it...
Us being humans have no right to be calling anyone destructive
We have caused more destruction than rain could ever imagine
So in my eyes...natures eyes
Rain is beautiful and it is we who are the uglies

They call me childish but I laugh with these eyes
The crimson tears that once flooded the skies
Always being looked down upon as if I'm Satan's child
The struggle is real and I don't know why
I'm just an innocent child who just wanted to survive
Fighting the tough battle that'll lead to his demise
Being weakened for reasons only god knows why
Stumbling on ever twig that he passes by  

But why...

I just wanted to live my life
I didn't ask to be stuck beneath these skies
But what does one expect from an orphan in disguise
Blooded tears leaking from his broken eyes
If only they knew the truth
The pain I try so hard to deny
Calling home a box in the street
Curling up in a ball trying to maintain the heat

This life...

I would reach out calling out for mom
But mom is gone probably getting high again
There goes my lunch money dad was kind enough to give
Too bad papa don't want me refusing to take me in
He knows mom is an addict but he just looks at me saying I'll survive
Ha I'll survive after I starve to death
Because I have too much pride to be on the streets begging for money
Only for it to be used for my mother's "food"
It ain't my fault my parent's abandoned me
sigh why this life gotta be so hard


I didn't...

I'm so weak I can't complain no more
My legs feel like rubber and my stomach continues to growl
I can feel my life span shortening searching for a sad relief
It's the end for me, god please set me free
I crawl in desperation settling for the crumbs I find on the ground
Look at me pathetic
It's sad how life did me so wrong

ask for...?

Who would dare ask for this
I just wanted to be a normal if you know what I mean
I want to yell at my parent's saying I hate them
Knowing they still love no matter what
But that's not the case for I
The child about to die leaving his cursed why's
But why this life I didn't ask for?

I believe in miracles
Better yet...
I am a miracle
The fact that I stand before you preaching these words
Instead of crying my final tears as the blood gushes from my open gun wounds
Well what does that tell you
That I somehow managed to avoid the wrong places at the right times
Or that I'm a coward who never leaves the comfort of his home
One who doesn't willingly subject himself to the cruel ways of society
As we all watch my kind get squashed as if we were born to live this way
Afraid to walk outside our homes everyday
Because if we do...
If we do...
We become public enemy number one

I'm done
You can call me a coward but enough is enough
At this moment I'm throwing away my gun
I'm tired of this pointless war
So many shots have been fired for no reason
But arc if you're reading this poem meant for you
I'm not in this anymore
So I am asking nicely now to leave me out of it
Aim your armed word in another direction
CAUSE I AM DONE.
I apologize if I hurt you in any kind of way
If you don't accept this resignation please let's settle it like men
Not behind these pointless poems
But face to face
You know how to contact me
I await your answer
Until then adios

My life is stuck on repeat
It's the same **** everyday
Tears of blood
Wipe them away
Tears of blood
Wipe them away
One day it will be different  
My body will eventually give
And I...
Well I will perish

**** poetry!
It's not what it use to be
Its words are used as weapons of war
Now it is nothing more than senseless bullet aimed at the people we once called family
Our brothers and sisters who were once banned together to spread their majestic words
But maybe I'm wrong...
Maybe poetry hasn't changed at all
In fact, maybe it is I who has evolved into this new being
New flesh and blood that covers my naked body
A being that expects so much more from its old art
If that's the case...
Maybe I should walk away now in search of something that can keep up with my evolution
Just maybe I should finally say goodbye to my dear friend poetry
...
**To be continued

Smile.
A smile is not the cure to pain
It is not the gateway to happiness
It is simple a mask to compress the pulsating sorrow that shows all over your broken soul
A smile is nothing more than another ****** expression saved in your memory banks
It has no real meaning
At the same time it represents something that is so much more
It represents a passion that is often wrongfully ignored
It represents resolution within your own being
Hope that illuminates from your very skin
But a smile itself represents absolutely nothing
When someone tells you to smile they are not saying it will solve all of your problems
They're saying it'll maybe help you answer your unanswered questions
That it will maybe help bring peace to your off balanced mind
That it will maybe lead you to a reason to actually feel joy
Help you break through the invisible gate,
Instead of looking like a **** poor pitiful soul who lost everything
That is the definition of a smile
The word ****** expression that lost it's meaning
So do the world a favor and just smile

I have been marooned in this ****** up place for 13 years
Ever since I was 5 when I first tried to survive
But only ended up dying in the firey pitts of hell
Got shot twice in the chest and once in the head
As I drowned in a pool of my conscious blood
I can feel the walls coming down upon me
The ground collapsing beneath me
So I scream at the top of my lungs for help
But no one ever comes or they do but just stare
As I cried blood tears from my jet black eyes
Why won't you help me
You see me struggling to gasp for air but you just stare
For what...sigh
My life is ****** up but I don't want to die
Though to the world I already have,in my mind I am still alive
Can't you see that I am trying to smile
Trying to not cry anymore
I just really want to survive this cold war
Please allow me to experience no more

When the world is your enemy
And darkness runs the bit of world you befriended
What is there left to do
It's all down hill from here
The other day I watched my best friend get gunned down by a white man
Then blamed it on me imprisoning me for eleven years
But through it all I remained mute shocked puzzled wondering
Is it because I'm black
Or is it because some other unknown reason
This man took a life and I got in trouble for it
My friend is six feet underground and I'm behind bars!
Is it because I'm black god has forsaken me
Vengeance struck my soul
As destruction clouded my judgement
What did I do?
I hate you!
Forget this world!
I'm done
Smite me down I beg thee
This world is just not meant for me

Why am I so angry
Like this world has done me so wrong
Who am I to blame for this madness,
This blood that is spilling all over my insides
This dagger I found  carving out my soul
Who am I even mad at
It's like I'm mad at everyone but no one
Like I have failed myself and my heart is confused
Where am I
I am lost within my own thoughts that haunt me in my sleep
Why am I so angry
I keep seeing these images in my head
Images of me standing in front of a fire watching souls burn
As I burn myself yet unaffected by the flames
Like I am the flames
Like I am the son of death
Who am I...Who am I

I live in a land of ice cream and fudge
Where the trees are made of chicken
And the seas red kool aid

I live in a land where instead of cats and dogs we have watermelon with legs
All black presidents expect that one white guy to pretend we ain't racist

I live in a land where instead of the KKK we have the BBC
The Black Brother Clan where we go around lynching crackers and the government don't do **** about it

I live in a land where the black race got all the blue collar jobs
While the whites live in the slums fighting over the crumbs

I live in a land of opportunity for my kind
Where we have everything we need to survive
And actually give to the less fortunate because we have been in their shoes

I live in the land known as the ***** realm
Where both the rich and poor get richer
And no one is truly left behind

I live in land of fantasies and slight vengeance
Where for once we can smile as one
Instead of pointing the gun

Don't you see I live in a wonderful land
One where I wish to never leave
But as I said before this is nothing but a fantasy
So it will sadly never come true

Not now or in a million year

I wash my hands of you,
At least I try to
My heart still write songs about your unmeasurable beauty
About how talented you are
About how amazing you looked that night
So I told myself maybe I'll get to hear your sweet voice just one more time
Maybe I'd get to see your beautiful smile just one more time
Maybe I'd get the chance to hold your soft hands just one more time
Maybe I won't see you ever again
Forcing me to become a victim of the deadly phrase,"what if"
What if I'd just told you about how felt when talking to you
How you literally made my day even when it was past the point of no return
How pathetic I looked as I waited for you to return my text
What if I just told you these these truths instead of hiding behind this invisible wall
What if I told you I think I'm falling in love with you
Would you say it back
Or would I just look like a fool
what if you were part of my life
Would you be happy
Or would I be the worst guy you ever met
What if...
I could be your guy

It's taken a lot out of me just to breathe
Looking into society trying to be something they wish for me to be
So I wear this white mask hiding my true identity
As I drown myself deep within this black sea
Living my reality in this false dream
Dying slowly
Forgetting all about the true me
Watching these wannabes sipping their tea
As one by one they judge me realizing they did the same thing
So I guess I'm one of them now
A clone with no individuality
Staring at this picture of me wondering who that be
As I sip my tea waiting for the next victim to emerge from the treacherous sea

Imma just...sit back here and be my...self
As I...watch the world go around and around and a...round
Just chillin beneath the...tree near outskirts of the town
Playing it cool as if...there isn't a worry in my mind
Paying no attention to the time
As the ******* continue to climb
Because...that is who I...am
A laid back ***** who doesn’t give a...****
Another brotha hiding from rules of society
Because in society I will never be a true human being
Cause all society sees is the...color of my skin
So because i’m...black
I am a...cursed being
Another plague that...infects this world with its...nonsense
So I just...tip toe away tryna...live a normal life
As I...carve a ******* in the...very atmosphere
Laughing away as I...live to be free
Lying beneath the...trees near the outskirts of the town
Once again just being...M to the ******* E

Let me be real
This poem is about nothing
It's not about me being madly in love with this girl
Not about the injustices in the world
It is just me writing the words that flow through my mind
The endless waterfall that never seems to cease
So if anyone wish to step up an continue the beat
Or just stroll  down the poetic river that seems to breathe
Please, do as you please and just speak
What comes next is up to thee

Listen to the birds in the trees singing their lovely melodies
Listen to the waves crashing against the shores washing away all your worries
Listen to the Earth shake, rattle, and roll as it dances beneath your feet
Now pause, this is where life was meant to be
A gaint party
Stress free and away from society
But is it ever going to be that way
Hell to the ******* nahh
Though one can still dream
But wait hear me now
We allow life to control too much of our lives
Don't think about that line too much
What we need to do is flow like the waves in the sea
Stop being this thing we are not and just be quote on quote me
And by me i mean yourself and not this ******* you front to society
Hoping to be accepted by thee
Bowing down to its knees
Actually see what is front of you and respond to it accordingly
Now I'm just trying to make this sound catchy apparently
But point blank period
Carpe Diem, Latin for seize the day
And set yourself free from the life we blindly obey