1am thoughts drive me outside to the stars
the wet grass and night breeze remind me
it's not a bad world
it's not a bad life
it's just a bad night to stargaze
clouds litter the sky,
but somehow stars still peek through
clouds roll on
and somehow they unsteady me too
I could lay here for hours
in the uneasy silence of the night

“I feel numb”
oxymoron
You don’t feel numb
You are numb
Who broke you so many times you feel nothing?

I wake up to sweet, beautiful rain
I stick my head out the door and feel the coolness drip over my face
I stick my hands out and long for them to be washed by this water from heaven
Wash over me, rain
Wash over me, water
Wash me clean
I hear the voice of the Living Water
I have already made you clean
You are forgiven

I’m most comfortable at night
as the sun sets in a beautiful watercolor
darkness F
                  A
                    L
                      L
                        S     on me
Is it supposed to be soothing? It is to me
Rain comes and everything’s just as it should be
Too long in the dark makes one comfortable there
Don’t let your eyes adjust to the dark
Don’t get cozy in the pit
The sun’s coming up tomorrow
It's too early to quit

Winds blow trees back and forth
Thunder booms, rain pelts my face
Call it harsh but I love it
Call it dark but I live for this
Nature demonstrates exactly how my soul is feeling  
I’m a spring storm, longing for a sunny summer

She paints with watercolors because they bleed all over the paper
like the feelings coming out of her mind bleed all over her arms
like the words shouted at her bleed all over her heart
She wished one day to paint with acrylics
they were simple and quiet
they colored inside the lines
they didn’t bleed
but who cares anymore?
She’s already numb to it all