All these words smothered on my face,
I smile anyways.

On the other side of the screen,
Do you know who I see?
I see someone smiling,
A guy with a nice laugh.
An amazing personality.
This person whom I want to hug.
So badly, but can only do so in my dreams.
I want him to forever, stay with me.

My heart is sinking as I step into the Chukchi Sea.
Off from Alaska's beach into this water, which is -40 degrees.
I'm freezing inside of a blanket, weaved from a fabric called sadness.
If this is your way of leaving me behind,
I'll allow the waves to swallow me.
As you're watching, I continue sinking. It's as if you've gone blind.
The person I remember, wouldn't have stood there watching.
Which leads me to believe you don't truly care, is that it?

I feel like I could get sick any minute now,
The words that you confirmed have intensified my frown.
I need to find some way, somehow to get out of this town.
I'm tired of being trapped here, I just need to get out.
I miss feeling comfort, when the tears all run down.

Please, someone save me, I'm tired of this drought.
Take me to Cherrapunji, where my tears can blend in.
Maybe after the rain stops there I'll be able to accept it.
But right now, as I'm crying in my bed..

I'm afraid my stomach has decided, this is the end.

I don't want him to worry about me.
I know I write rather depressing things.
I just let the words come out.
It's as if I'm grabbing chips from a bowl.

So just know that when you read my words,
At times I'm not as sad as they point towards.
You have to really strive to find the sadness,
Behind my own eyes.

Sometimes I don't see it myself; until I break down.
So, just know that you have nothing to worry about.
At least not right now.

My heart is racing violently,
Yet I stay seated silently.
Please not now, anxiety.
I need to remain calm.
I lightly touch my temples,
I can't keep myself from gasping.
I look towards the door,
My eyes begin to sting.
A tear drops past my cheek.
**** this, I need to leave.
"Don't say such things."
I swear.
These emotions have me snared.
As I stare at the door in tears,
I finally run through it,
Down the hall; and stairs.
They put me through this.
The reason I'm so anxious,
Is simply because of you idiots.

I'm sitting in a corner rocking back and forth
You were all I wanted; now I want to leave this Earth

Even if I stayed it wouldn't make much of a difference
Everytime I try to change there is no significance

Tell me, why does the clock keep ticking when my heart is breaking?
You've become so cold is that why I'm now shaking?

Now I'm floating in the middle of space drowning in hate's embrace
This world that I'm in *****! I just can't stop messing up! ******.

And now I'm laying in the dark crying,
Wishing for some form of comfort.
But I don't need this right now.
I need to embrace my frown.
Don't give in to the tightening of your heart.
It's not a permanent occurrence.
That is what I'm afraid of.
I won't give into this feeling.
Because I'm afraid it will fade.
He does not deserve that loss.
So I will continue to be lost.
All by myself.
This is my fate.

Chores at 3:00 AM,
Thoughts breaking through my skin.
Don't do that **** to him.
He wouldn't embrace this either way.
So keep moving along, don't stay in place.
You know it'd happen anyways.
You're incapable of such things.
So, go back to cleaning.
Bubbly water splashes.
Plates break,
You cry as you take in your fate.
Emotions are ****** up.
Which is why you were meant to stay alone.