i am...

A-bstractly addicted to absolute abuse
B-y basketcase boys with nothing better to be
C-autious when I caught chaos
D-riving me delutional day by day
E-ven when everyone echoed into my ear
F-uck this familiar fatal feeling
G-oing after guilty guys
H-ardly having healthy habits
I-njuring my inner innocence
J-ustifying jaded *******
K-indly killing all
L-ackluster lovers so they dont
M-ention me making mistakes
N-ever not nervous
O-ver obsolete oblivion
P-inky promising people to stay
Q-uietly questioning my
R-eason to resolve all emoitions ripping right from my
S-tomach snaking their way to satisfaction
T-hrough tounges I never even wanted to taste
U-nable to grasp unhappiness
V-isiously turning up the volume
W-aiting for any kind of wasted warmth
X-eric eyes
Y-et again teary
Z-oning through endless time

until i'm right back where i started...

they say a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down
so we bought my mom some cookies
to help the shots of morphine slide down her throat

they say pain is never permanent
so we all and hope and pray
that she'll go in peace

they say we should live in the moment
so we all sit around her bed and laugh
hoping we'll make a better memory than the last

they say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all
but every time i watch her struggle to breathe
i think it would've been easier if i had never loved her at all

then i think losing her wouldn't be as hard