don't tell me that
all men with bouquets of flowers
also have knives in their pockets
not when you fed me poison every day
and called it medicine

I went through my pictures today
And I realized I used to be happy.
Something I haven’t been in a while.

The person I see in those photos
Is not the same person looking back through the mirror;
There’s a faint resemblance, nothing more.

I used to smile and laugh, always so joyful;
I still do, but it’s no longer genuine
No longer healthy.

People used to say my smile made their day
And all I could think was
It’s just a smile, how can it make such a difference?

I never understood what they meant
When they said the smile should be seen in the eye;
That there should be a glitter, a sparkle.

Now when I laugh, when I smile,
It’s polite, lacking reassurance
Missing the light heartened warmth

I went through my pictures today
And I realized I used to be happy.
I finally know what that glitter, that sparkle is.
.
.
.
It’s what’s missing from the mirror.

What is the cost of loving you, sir?
A slap, or two, or three or four?
Even more than that
If I tip my hat
Can we make that none?

What is the cost of loving you, dearie?
I can see you're asking for quite a lot of money from me.
Can we make that none?

What is the cost of loving you, Ma Chérie?
Another lover, but one who I think
Is not your lover?
Can we make that none?

What is the cost loving you, sweetheart?
You're not so sweet I see
If you want to beat me
Like eggs in a cup
Shattered, bleeding
Can we make that none?

What is the cost of loving you, handsome?
Some hate, not from you.
But from bystanders.
Who
Seem
To
Be
Unable
To
Shut
Their
Mouths
To
Stop
Pouring
Out
Hate
Towards
Us
Over
Nothing.

Mankind
What are you doing
Black and white and gray
You twist and turn and rage and shine
My love, your love, our love
My brokenness, your tatters, she crumbles, he shatters
Closed eyes, open mouths, poisoned words, ***** words
Dates, times, places, people, smiles, faces, masks
Him, her, you, me
Talk about people, talk about people
Use them and wear them, win them and hang them
Elegance, poverty, hurricanes far away, imaginary crucifixions
Look at me, look at my scars, look at my hurt, look at my heart
Words and words and words and tasty, tasty words
Names, names, names, a thousand souls, a thousand stories
Changing, twisting, turning, losing, loving
Emotions, complications, complexities, perplexities
It makes me want to say
Mankind
What are you doing