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CryBaby Di Apr 26
You're so easy to admire,
but baby you're a phony and a pretty little liar.
The things that you see as beneficial to you
are all that you seek to acquire.
You don't want love.
You need love.
You need it as your tool for getting whatever
it is you see any current value in.
Truthfully it's fortune that is your actual desire.
I guess you don't really even need any actual love
when it's lust, luxury, and powdery dust that
takes you so much higher.
CryBaby Di Nov 2018
Sometimes you just have to accept the things that you cannot change.
Like, you can compulsive lie your *** off but it still cannot change what is true.
They say that the truth is the
hardest pill to swallow,
so instead I crush it up and I snort it.  
Even if there were things that I could change I fear I'll just make it even worse,
so I mission abort ****.
I lack the ability to actually change me,
and my courage is cowardly.
I'm hopeless, but I really do hope
that things will hurt less.
I'm useless, but I don't think that
I'll ever use less.

If not this, then it would be that.
It's all relative Nonsense where overall
you were just another substance.
But who am I to deprive misery of
its love for company,
honestly how could I possibly
maintain stability and be granted
any serenity, when all that is
surrounding me and inside of me is constant insanity ?..

Yeah, it's called Drug Abuse,
but is the term "Drug Abuse"
and the overall meaning behind it
really that simple ?..
In which being limited to the technical bottom line meaning and stating that by doing drugs you are abusing those drugs.
Where in other words the users
are apparently the abusers of the drugs that they use,
but isn't it possible that the drugs
actually abuse us too ?..
CryBaby Di Nov 2018
The day will come that you find yourself stepping in that big unavoidable pile of **** that is completely made of the huge mess that you yourself have made.
I know when you finally do that it will haunt your dark black soul forever.
So keep flushing your meds down the toilet I guess you're right,
you don't need them.
You are someone who can't
possibly be saved,
because you don't want to be saved.

You can't turn back the hands of time,
or take back the hands in which you laid upon me to harm and cause me pain.
It's far too late.
You can't uncross the ultimate line in which you crossed with me.
Point those filthy fingers of yours towards the mirror right back at your own reflection when you're searching for someone
to blame, you've chosen your own
twisted fate.

I'll never be your's again baby girl.
Not to wrap your arms around to hold,
not to catch you all the times you fall,
not to talk you off the ledge that you so dangerously dance with death upon.
I will never again be any part of your ****** up world.

My shoulder will never again be the shoulder that bears all of your fallen
salty bitter tears.
Listening to all of your depicted fears and each and every one of your own self made problems will never again be either of my ears.

I do hope that there is some sort of help you one day find.
I just won't be the one who's there for you when everyone else leaves you behind.

I do hope that you find a way to keep your head above the waves and remain afloat.
I just won't be the one who jumps in to save you when your drowning and
pull you up onto my life boat.

I really do hope that one of the many days you are feeling helpless that you somehow find the strength to not resort to picking up a razor, pressing it against your skin  and making yourself bleed.
Because seriously I'm sorry but,
I won't be the one who's there to
interfere or to bandage up your self inflicted wounds.
Because I won't be there ever again,
so not even in your time of need.

I so badly do hope that you one day find the type of love that you need to find
within yourself.
I just won't be there to love you anymore myself.
CryBaby Di Nov 2018
You vigorously lash out,
and yell for me to leave.
Pushing me even further away,
because telling me "Come over when you're sober"
is like telling me "You'll see me never."
So either you come over to my place,
or you may as way just tell me
"Goodbye forever."
This was inspired by the iconically legendary, beautiful soul that was Lil Peep. Today is the 1 year anniversary of his tragic death, and I'm still mourning him and honoring his legacy everyday as much as I can. I took his death extremely hard, and he means a greta deal to me and has inspired me in so many positive ways, especially my art and he is a huge part of what's motivated my writing and manifested me into the writer I am today. I'll miss him forever. "Come Over When You're Sober" was the last album he released shortly before his death and part 2 he had pre made already before dying was just released just days ago and it is beautiful of course and everything I ever imagined it to be. Not a single day goes by that I don'r listen to his music, so this is just a little sometime I came up with in honor of him, his music, and my favorite albums.
RIP Peep, you will continue on to "live through your vibe" . Crybaby 4EVER <3
CryBaby Di Oct 2018
nothing in this world is pure.
You can give and give until
you've actually given everything,
but they'll still want more.

I've learned long ago that
love is not a cure.
I ask myself,
How many times can one heart
possibly break?..

And with nothing left
after losing everything,
how is it even somehow possible
that from me people continue to take?..

most people don't even know
that I am broken,
or have any idea about just how
damaged I really am,
and the fact that my smiles
are actually fake.

It's not so easy trying to hide all of
this pain behind a pair of big blue eyes.
Although then again,
No one ever really cares or understands
the tears that a CryBaby cries.
CryBaby Di Aug 2018
"Once upon a time,
I wrote Love Poems about
the girls who made me happy.
I mostly write Love Poems
about the girls who broke me.
These girls I write,
and have written about were always
the greatest inspirations to my poetry.
The girls that I once
wrote Love Poems about
are the same girls that I now
write Love Poems about consistently.
All this time,
I have been the writer
of an endless twisted irony.
The only difference is
that I stopped writing Fairytales,
and started writing reality.."
CryBaby Di Aug 2018
"All of these fatal,
self-destructing thoughts
trapped inside my head..
I was gonna call  
the Suicide Prevention Lifeline ,
but my phone was dead..."
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