Sweep the dust off
Polish and buff the edges
Clean and wipe the surfaces.

I start afresh.

A pull,
weighing me down.
A weight too hard to bear.

A force,
holding me upright.
A hold too tight to resist.

A strength,
feeding me too much.
A body too weak to sustain.

I was staring at the window
I thought I saw your shadow.

It somehow did remind
What was supposedly mine.

You said that desired vow
With such dreaded foul.

Deeply I felt the burn
And truly nothing else earned.

I wonder what you can bring
Other than this pathetic dream.

Fake tattoos I drew you,
They faded.

Sweet promises I gave you,
They withered.

Nice places I led you,
They shifted.

Bad temper I brought you,
They rendered.

Soft kisses I blew you,
They crippled.

Rough patches I pushed you,
They shattered.

But the heart I surrendered,
It -

I burned my feelings into ashes
with the dry ice in my heart,
from the chills you bestowed upon me.

Those ashes I saved and kept them
in a box, I sealed it and
named it "Past".

The bubble of hope died and
my feelings vanished into thin air-
or I wished.

I took Past and I painstakingly
dug at hole, so deep
at the bottom of my heart.

That's where the Past shall stay,
where you shall be,
where this love strives to persist.

I recognise the way your lips curl up
but no longer do I know
the reasons behind those curls.

I can imitate your laughter,
the way you sound like a boy but
no longer can I make you do it.

I am familiar
with everything about you but
everything isn't the same anymore.

You are
a foreign land
which I had used to trough.

The idea of you
is a blurry smile,
a clear scent and
a warm hand.

An achievement unlocked,
a treasured past and
a ghost in my ears.

An unnerving screech,
a love forgone and
a forgiveness never sought.

The idea for you
is amazing,
I created it so.

An unending source of strength
a lesson to always remember,
a man to still pin for.

Why can't we just meet for ice cream
Cuddle
Watch a movie
and forget that
We broke up.

Why can't we just kiss usual goodnight
Spoon to sleep
Have sweet dreams
and let go that
We broke up.

Why can't we just start everything over
Again
Afresh.

Why not?

Sink,
Sank,
Sunk,
Sunken.

I don't think my heart can go any lower.

They have scales to protect them
When all I have is a thin layer of
skin which scratches easily.

They have fins to propel them forward
When I only have useless
limbs which weigh me down further.

They have gills to help them breathe
When I only have a pathetic
nose which is constantly blocked by tears.

I am jealous of you,
Fish.

You said Move on,
Find someone better.

But who is going to be better
Than the best?

You will wonder why it makes you
Vulnerable yet strong,
Weak but brave,
all at the same time.

You will ponder over the
Hope after a cringe,
Smile following that tear,
all in that same body.

You will question why you
Love despite the hurt,
Care even though there's pain,
Hold on although it's a burden.

It's all because,


Loving is innate.

The foreign object sticking
in my veins, feeding on
the blood which I live on.

The redundant thought staying
in my brain, meddling with
the determination which I prayed for.

The familiar name screaming
in my head, reminding of
the past which I cry for.

Come around acting like you
have been always here
when all you did
was to float around aimlessly.

I twirl my hair,
batter my eyelids,
flash my smile.

You won't even know I am




Pretending.

I know there's no hope left,
I knew.

I just needed to hear it from you.
I needed you to say it,

Say
"I don't love you anymore."

On rainy days
I always get this urge to tell you
I forgot my umbrella again.
I got drenched in the rain,
I am feeling cold.

I wonder if you would chide me
Like you used to,
Say I would catch a cold,
I need to rush over to whereever you are
So you can cuddle me warm.

It's raining today, but
Some habits are no longer the same
Even if I remember the conversations.

It's raining today, but
I need to seek shelter elsewhere
Because you're taken now.

Gone too fast.
Lingered too long.
Jumped too far.
Realized too slow.
Hurt too late.
Content too little.

Love too much.