I have a lover
he is the kind others dream for
he makes me feel a way
I did not know before
he makes me think in a way
I feared thinking before
He treats me in a way
I was not used to being treated like before
He makes me want to love him
like I have never loved before
and I love him
like no one has before me
like no one ever will
because there will be no after me

sometimes it is hard
to be convinced of the truths
that you feel are lies
and when you are proven right
it becomes even harder
to accept that people
cannot ever be trusted

sometimes it is hard
to be convinced that life is not so bad
that you have it good
and when you are proven wrong
it becomes even harder
to accept that you
should be thankful for the pain

sometimes it is hard
to be convinced that you are good enough
that you are not lacking
and when you finally see it
it becomes harder
to accept that you should love
the people that took you for granted

we are alone
among ourselves
screens and pages
people and places
billions and more
but we are alone
in the only world
we will ever know
that we treat
as though we own
but we do not
it cares for us
with air and light
its nature and might
is not ours
and we are alone
billions of stars
look down at us
I envy where they are
in the unknown

why
can I never find
what I want to hear
but I cannot say
what I want to read
but cannot write
A million other
stories and tales
poems and novels
but none contain
what I can never
find