Didn't you know?

Cinderella,
Was only chased by the prince
For the mystery
Not the girl

Snow White,
Was never wanted by the prince
He just wanted
The adventure
Not the girl

Belle,
Was never loved
By the beast
He just wanted
To escape the curse

So didn't you know?
The only real prince
Disney ever made
Is named Hans

Who was greedy
And just wanted
Money and fame
And tricked a little girl
Out of her innocence

Didn't you know?

It's odd

At first
We were simply polite

Then,
We were friends

Now,

We are sometimes
Children
And talk
Of petty things

We are sometimes
Adults
And talk
Of stress, sadness,
And other things
Not for children

We are sometimes
Encouraging
We will take turns
Telling the other
Why they need to live

But most of all
We are always
*Friends

You ignited within my soul a flame,
A flicker of fire, I fear I won't be able to tame.
I must warn you, I'm a rebel.
And right now, I have an overwhelming desire to play with your fire.

I used think
Of suicide
All the time

How
When
Where

But really,
Suicide
Sounds like a lot
Of work

What I really wish
Is that death
Would just take me
And I wouldn't have to come
To it

That I would fall from great heights
But not on purpose

That a bear would eat me
Without prompting

That water would take me
Without my help

That I would just die
But not on purpose

Or even better
But truly impossible,

I wish I had never been born

That I had never disgraced
This world
With my presence

That I never
Met you
So you wouldn't have to pretend
To be my friend

That I never
Forced my
Ugly words
On people

I honestly wish I had never been born

So no,
I do not
Want to commit suicide

But yes,
I do want to die
Or have never been alive

Your silence climbs like vines,
I hardly notice it binds,
Past my grounded thighs,
Twisting all up my spine,
My heart's furnace, it shall find,
And attempt to smother it alive.
I know we're on year nine,
And you've always been on my mind,
But now there comes a time -
That the Sunshine, I just can't find,
Your contempt for me is all that you remind,
The only time you direct your energy towards mine.

I can stand tall on my own.

Through Winter, I did not wither,
From my keeper, no compassionate water delivered -
The blood from within my veins of river,
From my own flourishings, is where I beat the shiver.
Let it be known:
Nourishment & Encouragement
Is what you couldn't give her.
What she found instead:
Her inner self is her giver.

love is
it is;
it's
to wish you
well-off
not to dissolve

while melting
and honey,
I'm melting

why can't I
can't I
can't
I can't
catch this
catch my
gasp, ******
this breath

why can't I have it ?
I've had it
with
astronaut emotion
head in outer space
what goes up
must come down

but I've been

d
o
w
n

drowned & coming up for air
at the last second to explode
the need to inhale
something
you or air

I c a n n o t decide which feels better

sometimes I think I am loveless and cold, and that's why I hate the heat and get sick all the time
but she reminded me of all the love I do have
love that fills the room and echoes like a choir's song on a Sunday
love that burns through me like a match in a grassy field
I have love for the trees and for the river and for the smooth rocks and even for the jagged ones that cut my knees
there is love every time she forgets to put on sunscreen and there is love when I take care of her so she can be high on acid
I give love to my father and mother, who watched me destroy myself for years and held my hand as I walked out of the darkness
but I think most important of all
is that I have love for myself
for my scars and my freckles and my stretch marks and my illness and my flat feet and my small hands and my messy hair and my sweaty palms and for everything that makes me who I am
I have love
-