My mind is like a cave
thoughts are the monsters hiding inside
they tempt me
whisper things in my ear
pull me in by the noose around my neck
and then drown me in doubt

I can't see anything properly
dust clouds my vision
I'm being dragged deeper
until I can't see the light

I'm alone
I'm going in circles trying to find my way out
I try to call out but I'm stopped
the shame is suffocating
I can't see
I cant breath
I cant call for help
But I can't do it alone

The smoke is gone
I yell
I scream
I cry
I run
I fall

Someone pulls me up
they take me out to the light
they pull off the noose
and we talk
and we cry
and we walk
and then I hear a whisper

the first time she told him she loved him he asked

     how

she looked him in the eyes and said

     how could i not

-part 1

You said you'd always love me
I didn't know always meant until
you got bored.

i would go blind
just to see you
shine your brightest

you are a brilliant light
but right now
you’re dimmed
you’re covered up
you’re not you

i want you
to become the bright light
that i know you can be
that i know you used to be

and i wish
oh so dearly
to see you at your brightest
even if it blinds me
even if i won’t ever see again

i could be happy
remembering that one glimpse
of you
shining

i remember crying
asking him to stop
as he held me down
face in a pillow
some people call this
*******
probably because
they know
men are dogs