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angele Mar 2019
they shatter
just like you did mine

and you threw it into the ocean
and let it be devoured by sharks
angele Mar 2019
i think about you perpetually.
your name floats through my head
your face painted in my dreams
burned into my tears.

but i am certain,

when you lie in bed
you never think about me,
you unfailingly dream of her
of touching her
of loving her

the way i wish you would still love me
if it weren't for my transgressions.
angele Mar 2019
cuddle me
enclasp me
squeeze me
he says.

to keep me forever.  
squeeze me
to remember how you feel in this moment-before i’m gone.
squeeze me
to bathe in our love-powerful like the sun.
squeeze me
to paint our sins in your head.
squeeze me
to let our love envelop our minds and bodies intertwined.

and i can’t get enough

squeeze me
he says
so i do.
angele Mar 2019
i can't stop.
i can't lose him.
i can't break his heart
i wont.
but i already have
haven't i?

what happens now is uncertain.

but there's no turning back now
nothing will ever be the same.
this is the one thing i am sure of.

so without thinking
i push my sins away for another day to drown myself in them
i step forwards toward my darkness
or my light
i guess that is for me to decide.
angele Mar 2019
sometimes i lay on my bed-facing the stars
until i dont want to think anymore
until i cant think anymore
until i want it to stop
until i want everything to
angele Feb 2019
i am powerless in the way of your pain-
which drives me to a place of insanity.
since i am impotent-i will promise you instead.

i promise to help you smile on your darkest days.
i promise to be your light where all the goodness has vanished.
i promise to find the words when your tongue has been removed.
i promise to stand when your knees give out.
i promise to be your music when your fingers break.
i promise to be the warm body holding you during a nightmare.
i promise to be your heart when yours is shattered.
i promise to be yours.
i promise.
well i tried to write something happy.
how’d it go?
angele Feb 2019
she told me my writing is sad
too depressing to read
why don't i just write about happy things?

she said i write as though it's always raining outside
and i told her when it rains
it pours

and when the sun and rainbows are out
there is nothing left of my shattered soul to pour

until another rainstorm.
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