your unspoken words
sang our love, that my eyes have
slowly recorded.

Yes,
I said yes.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
And yes,
I am a contradiction to myself. I mean it.
I mean I just want to be great. Fathom why I'm not great.
I want to explore & have an impact on someone's life.
I want someone to tell me that they want to be just like me as much as I would like to be just like you.
I want to touch someone's heart like you have touched mines.
I want you to understand why I'm so emotional at times.
I want you to realize that my love for you is like no other .
I want you to look at me and be amazed .
I want you to look at me & know why you love me.
I'm just a hopeless romantic.

Flashes of you go round and round in my mind--
Wisps of hair and the shine of the moonlight on your skin--
the sounds that escaped your mouth and
the way your back arched in the dark--
Words that you've said, or even lack thereof--
The love that held us together, even when things hurt too much--
And the end... the end where I shook with
sadness and fear of the oblivion that
you threw me into.

Will you remember the tears that ran down my face
and the words, *"Just one day more, please?"

I can't think of what to write
Pen to paper
Fingers to keys
I cant think of what this piece needs
- What inspiration
- What desperation
I can't think
There seems to be nothing left

It scares me, how much I'm like you. Generational demons unlocked their curses and waged a war against our souls. Like being caught under a frozen pond. Trying to break free of the oppression. Trying to breathe, while your breath of life became a long dramatic sigh. Like the sand on an hour glass slowly fading into past tense. I used to love you. I used to walk down one way streets too.

Stay
I begged you
Till the words evaporated from my mouth
and the walls started to bleed
you told me that you wanted space,
and I would have given you the entire universe
but you were already gone
before I could say;
Stay.

You’re soft. Smooth.
And yet you want me to break you.
You want my hands engraving red marks into your skin.
Your sweet, soft skin.

I cannot.
But not because I don’t want to.

Hope found its home on my lips, you can find rest on my chest after you're done sleep walking...

I wish I could find the book titled you,
The haphazard bounded and embroidered
Cover with pages spilling golden rue
And blurred lines under every lovely word…
But I don’t know where to look anymore
Or if my heart wants to ache like it did.
I couldn’t burn the secrets or foreswore
And forget the love seared on my eyelids…
But my thrum is in the eyes of a man,
Laced in every vein, waiting on his lips
Like a drug deal not according to plan
And your relapse stinging like poison whips.
     I’ve held and been held by this book in dreams
     And secret studies full of rouge sunbeams.
     Perhaps this diversion is what I needed;
     Maybe someday I'll learn to stop the bleeding?

My heart shattered
into eight pieces.
They lay there on my carpet.
Each one told me
a story.

one
My eyes meet yours
on that Monday afternoon.
I smile and so do you.

two
My hands run through your
hair as you kiss me
in the warm summer rain.

three
The sky is pink as we drive
down to the shore on your
black motorbike, laughing.

four
You're wearing a blue shirt
as we get drunk on
the thought of forever.

five
My ears are ringing from
all the screaming, I slide against
the door as you walk away.

six
My skin burns where you touched
me, you pack your clothes
in an old, weathered bag.

seven
Your lips are chapped when
you kiss me for the last time,
wrapping your arms around me.

eight
A picture flashes up on my computer,
I look at it until you're nothing
but a blurry memory.