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 May 2014 Melanie Walsh
it's ok
I'll kiss your pillowcases to stain them
Cover them in orange lipstick
For you to remember my lips
and when you wash them,
if you manage to gracefully clean them
I'll let you forget me
and I'll forget you
 May 2014 Melanie Walsh
Jack
~


Black on white
Scores in three quarter sorrow
Sharps and flats beneath heartbeats
Dust and cobweb mosaics
glistening in the key of pain

Scaled deposits wait
lonely in the corner
Replaying adagio chords of lost love,
composed in major and minor
on yellowed decaying paper

Tuning key locked away,
Forte expressions shackled
in sustain pedal nightmares
of faux concertos worn
in overture’d blistered edges
as empty fingers play on

Blood trickles on ivory,
cascading in mirrored visions
as I realize this candelabra’d composition
was written by me…in my hand, my notes
all the while knowing, the empty chorus performed
is the hurt I have staged upon your heart

Silence finds me sitting
on a wobbly bench, uninspired
attempting balance with a still metronome
living in the shadows of what I have become
decomposing your smile, ashamed at the lyrics,
cursing the music for it is the song
of your sadness that I should never have played
Red, blue
and violet
Inside my mind, there is a riot
Gun fire
Bursts of desire
Will I rise higher
Or come crashing down
I always felt like I was meant for more than this town
But how can I escape
Design my own fate
When these walls I cannot break
If only I could reach out and take
My future
Pull it towards me so I can be there sooner
Oh, the irony
I want to escape reality
The painter of this picture is me
Too blind to see
I didn't even look at the canvas
Should have kept a steady hand
Scribbled all over it
Didn't give a ****
Now I’m left wondering who I am
Let myself decay
But I don’t want to waste away another day
So to myself I say, it is time for change
I have to rearrange the order of my brain
So things don’t remain the same
Gotta change my aim
Relight my flame
If life is just a game
I want to at least say I played
No longer will I sit out or be filled with self doubt
I’m going to love myself now
Or at least try
Life goes by in the blink of eye
If then ten year old me walked on by
Would they sigh or wonder why
I never tried
I never tried
I’m trying to look on the bright side
Always there will be high and low tides
All fears I must cast aside
The time has come to do more than just sit by
I want to see a change worldwide
So I have to start inside

A rising tide
Nationwide
To wash away this great divide
At this point I don't care about anything
Realization hit me like a wave in my face
knocking me down and leaving me lost at sea

I cannot help but feel like a piece of driftwood,
an inanimate object unable to feel any emotion
for you have thrown me out like some sort of trash

but I realize that I meant nothing to you, I only thought
just like I thought you loved me,
or believed you when you said you did

but your words are worthless
their meanings revoked
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I often think of things
that are seldom looked after
the rusty old seesaw
does it miss the children's laughter?

The strip of  receipt
crying in the dustbin
I feel the strange
the odd
the unseen.
To most are invisible
To me
I am keen

I like to talk to empty wine bottles
I thrill myself when the dead leaves rustle
I touch the life of a living rock
Alone and battered
Peaceful but tough

I smell the crisp bathroom air
Steaming with heat
Believe me, I care

I dance with curtains
in a still afternoon
I sing with the wind
In the chilly evening gloom

Play with the strings of a broken guitar
Run my fingers through
the smoothness of this scar

I merge the worlds
of the living
and the dull
I see them
alive
In the depths
of my skull


...............
defying everything..
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