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when you first handed me your heart, I wanted to

guard it. cherish it. nourish it. admire it.

& I did.

at my own expense.

every time I compromised. every time I believed the same old lie. every time you refused to try. slowly and overtime.. our love ran dry.

yet still you grab my face
between hands that once made me tremble.. and you scream to me that I am the sun, moon, and stars.

*******, I KNOW that.
I don’t need you to tell me my identity. I've always been my own universe and you were just a visitor.

go back down for air. you’ll find yourself there. I promise.  

it’s not that I hate you, it’s just that your worship doesn’t hum my hallelujah.
I'm struggling but I'm optimistic.

I'm confused but still on a mission.

It's okay to get off track, just don't stay there.

Clear your mind, come up for fresh air.

Trust in the Lord, lay your hope there.

For every treasure on earth will perish, but His love for you?
An everlasting marriage.

I've been trying to find my purpose in my passions but that strategy was lackin'.

I failed to see that I was made to be just YOU and ME.

Nothing in between.

Although you remain unseen, you show me what needs to be.

And I thank you for that.

Because in a world of lies, you told me to take a step back.

Now I see anew and your kingdom is in view.

On earth as in Heaven.

For glory onto your name, I will be a blessing.

Are you willing to die to self? To live beyond the desires of your shell?

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

But we are chosen and called, the humble and the meek.

So if you are feeling a little lost and lonely too, take heart, for I am right there with you.

The battle is not over. The journey is not done. But at the end of it all, we will have a beautiful hallelujah to hum.
I thought I knew the meaning of love until I glimpsed a light in your eyes

On a silent, cloudy night in July
Climbing on top of train tracks
Trying to kiss the sky

Inhale smoke vapors
You didn't owe me any favors
But by my side it was you I could always find

On a cloudy July night
I used to gaze outwardly at galaxies through window panes
Pain surfacing in my mental picture frame  

Never did I think any beauty could surpass that yet now I have to take those words back because looking at you baby
that's fantastic

The glow in your eyes consumes me like the dark night sky

Your eyes
Oh
Your eyes
A map in disguise

The light that always continues to shine
To guide
To rid me of my pride and walk by me with every stride

With words I'm trying to define and describe an impossible reality reflected so realistically

Your heart pulsing next to me washes over these sheets with ecstatic beats

Breathing like rhythm and prose our bodies compose a melody sweeter than a rose but just as deadly to the touch

I give and I get yet I can never get enough of your touch
It just means that much

When it comes to the top it's going to be tough and when the going gets tough
The love we share is more than enough

No matter what I'm not
I know who I am
Know I'm proud to stand beside you
Your woman
Not a would have been
Could have been

But a story unfolding so beautifully
Something so new to me
How do you do this to me

I plead insanity
Pray it won't end in tragedy
I once was blind but now I see the world through new eyes when you're staring back into mine
Hypnotized by a feeling so divine

How sweet it is to be thine
Surpassing time and shining in the moment for we know we can't freeze it or hold it

All we have is now and what we have is golden
I'm just praying and I'm hoping that I'll always be yours for the holding

Baby you are the whole thing
The sun
  The moon
    The stars
      The whole thing

And when the youths are revolting
I'll hold you down
It's no thing

I'll be there for you through
Fall
   Winter
     Spring
        Summer
          The whole thing
Every good and perfect gift is from God.
Open the floodgates,
my heart has something to say.
No words, just waves.
It strangles the breath out of me but leaves me with no pain.
It taste like love but burns like God
come crashing down upon me.
I welcome the weight.
Creator of fates and faces, who am I to compose?
Lacking in both rhythm and prose.
Honey dripping from my hands.
What does it take to make a man?
Waking warrior, slumber no more.
This world - it kills,
with passion, lust, and skill.
I want to give it to you straight.. I haven't dated in awhile, but if I had a choice, it would be you who makes me smile. I can envision it now, we could go for miles, stretching into infinity, but there are some things that don't come naturally for me. When push comes to shove, when I come undone, when I stand before you flesh and bone, will you make my body your home? Or will you wander and roam to places unknown? The thought of being alone doesn't haunt me. My own thoughts, they taunt me. These are the things I wish to tell you but my fingers won't type the words, my mouth won't voice the hurt. I'm scared of being left and scared of being smothered. If you saw me with your eyes uncovered, I fear you would run.. and I would let you. I know that if you looked at me with your soul, we could achieve a love burning brighter than the sun. I don't owe anyone an explanation nor an  excuse. The truth is, when I still had much to learn, I let my body burn. And I was numb to the flame, yet still the scars remain, even now, etched for eternity, written on flesh. There is still a part of me that wishes I could turn it all back. But I swear to you and swear to myself, there are no such things as mistakes, only lessons. And because of them I realized how truly blessed I am. I saw beyond perception, but will you? I don't want to let you in only to lose. Can we just cut loose all ties, deviate from this great divide? These are the questions that occupy my spare time. I'm not writing this for you, but for me. Setting myself free from the prison of uncertainty. Will you see me? The real me? A multidimensional being who took a worldly beating? I gained so much from these scars. But if you were to see them, I fear we would forever part. Once again, I end just to start.. so here's to hope, here's to heart.
if we want to make forward progress
we have to put a stop to all this unrest and nonsense
put your thoughts and words to good use
don't use them as a form of abuse
no one is fake
no one is stupid
no one is anything other than what they are
and what they are
you are too
we all have the same roots
we are all reading from the same book
some of us are just on different chapters
end the labels
end the hate
it is time for us to move on to the next page
how do I compare a thought that isn't there
an absence of words
something so absurd
yet profound
I dig deeper down
only to find a lack of sound
lack of how or why
this fleeting feeling is thin as smoke
I grasp for it with clenched fingers
further away it floats on by
eluding me it
lingers
further away this hope
I'm searching for
casts me out to sea a hundred times more
until my last and final breath
I'll keep swimming towards the shore
pushing forward until I return to the source and
soul departs
rips a part
the hardest part is
trying to describe
an empty
aching hollowness from syllables that once died
somewhere between barriers
brain
and tongue
graveyards of songs that will remain only a hum
unravel this winding web
I'm alone in my head again
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